Angry victim Philpot fire case

Survivour of attempted murder at the hands of his father

1 to 20 of 37 messages
06/04/2013 at 20:12

Hi All,

I'm sorry but I feel that I must defend those on benifits and are survivors of abuse.

My father tried to kill mel at least twice, another time, I I just can't remember what happened on another episode,.

He repeatedly raped my mother, and from the age of 9 I tried to stop him. Thats why he tried to kill me. I had to cope with 2 disabilities, not being able to talk properly (hence I saw a speech therapist). I was with them from 4 years old till at least 11. I also couldn't walk properly.

I had psychological tests done at 11 yet I was never told. And I only found that I have Dyspraxia when I got to uni (I have a psychology degree).

I was put in front of a professor of psychology that my father was trying to kill me because he loved me.

I realised then that noone was going to help me stop him. But I learnt that if I allowed him to physically mentally sexually abuse me, till he calmed down, then he didn't attack my mother,it was my way of protecting her.

I was battered beaten and builled at school because of my disabilties known and unknown. One kid killled himself for some reason I have survived.

When everything stopped school and my father, I didn't kno what to do. I got into the army, where I was black balled (my penis and scrotum covered in boot polish. I was ki8cked out.

I tried so hard with work, the longest I held a job down was 12 months, at 24 I suffered a massive breakdown, I tried to kill myself because I couldn't stop him all the time. I tried everythin hanging myself walking into the road,even jumping off a bridge.

I hadd tried college a number of times,but I eventuually got the diagnosis and I came out with a honours psychology degree .4% off a two one.

I have been to these work schemes,I went to Lifeline to try and get a volunteer place, they said they don't have the facilities to train me. So even with a degree noone can help with my Post Traumatic Stress.

After a PTS episode in work, or even socially, I get pushed out of work, even while trying to get my Cognitive Psychology Charter.

I spent 12 months on a therapy course, that has helped, but its only filled in the gaps in theeory of what I lost at school and home.

Question, how can a surviour become a whole victim, when from one day or the next you didn't know if you were going to be alive.

I have waking nightmares where I flee my home, and won't go bacck for days, even if it meant sleeping rough.

I end up going on 3 month binge drinking sessions, or longer, before I feel safe to come back home.

I am waiting to go to On Track an alcohol treattment place, I have not been sent by job centre. I was trying to sort it out with my community Psychiatric nurse.

Having these PTS episodes are not fun. I don't want them, I don't know how well mentally, and phsically well I may get.

I do try with the booze, but its the only thing that hides the pain mentally.

Please don't think that survivours of abuse are all like Philpot. I lost a fantastic extended family because I didn't know how to cope in a safe loving family. Theycouldn't cope with me.

I have no frriends as such, just one or 2 people and pubs where the locals have learnt to cope with me, while othersin the same pub won't even recognise I exist, nor want to know what I survived.

I don't want to be this mentally ill I didn't want Dyspraxia etc.

Ijust want to be liked and fit in somewhere, for someone to love andbe with and give that love, a job where my skills can be put to good use.

The damage Osboourne is doing is unbelievable.

He is not even mentioning those who have survived, just that we all use it as a life style choice.

Being alone, being ignored, being told and rejected from e

07/04/2013 at 00:58

Who's philpot, and what was all that about?

07/04/2013 at 08:57

Hi All,

Phillpot is the guy who murdered his 6 kids that burned them in their home.

Osbourn is the chancellor who is blaming their deaths on the welfare state.

07/04/2013 at 09:46

Thank you for sharing this Sinbad.

Reading the Daily Mail you would think that there is a huge parasitic underclass deliberately sponging off the hard-working majority; it makes me sick just to read it. We all have a story to tell but the opinions of their readership are often laughable. I feel bad just admitting that I will leaf through if a copy is left lying around. People like Philpot are all the proof they need to feed their prejudice.

You do not need to delve too deeply into the lives of people like you to realise that poor mental health is not easy to live with or a well understood issue.

I know enough about the issue to take anyone to task over their poor attitude towards people with poor mental health; but I have to accept that it is not easy to work with people with mental health issues (in a professional/caring role for example).

Thank you again


seren nos    pirate
07/04/2013 at 15:24

there are a number of groups in the country that seem to think they have an right of entitlement..from a few of those on welfare, to a number of bankers that believe they are entitled to big bonuses and to civil servants, MP's etc that think they have a right to a big payout when they leave their job

all in different circumstances but all a scurge on society.....


the start of people living on welfare came when Maggie decided to massacre the major industries in many poorer areas.from mining to steel and all the associated jobs in the neighbourhood......

men who had worked hard for years were thrown on the scrap heap in their forties and fifties with no chance of work however many jobs they tried the end they gave up.......little investment in those areas in the schools meant the majority left school with no qualifications............only jobs around are minimum wage.....and then its not enough to bring up a family....the companies make multi million pounds profit from their workers yet pay so little that the welfare state has to top up the rest to a livable wage.......


but none of this is as important as the point the OP is trying to can have a go at this man and the reason why anyone could do anything so unbelievable.........( and its not the right of entitlement)......but he has left behind children who must be going through hell realising that their father has killed a number of their half brothers and sisters and that they have to try and make some sense of this in their minds and try to learn how to deal with that............but the papers and politicians are all trying to pointscore over what is a major tradegy for some individuals

07/04/2013 at 20:28
sinbad113 wrote (see)

Osbourn is the chancellor who is blaming their deaths on the welfare state.


Except that is not at all what he said - I imagine a lot of people wish that is what he said so they can have a go - but listen to the words, bad taste, opportunist maybe - but nothing like what you are implying.

08/04/2013 at 08:58

Hi All,

Thanks for that SideBurn, I have been sacked from so many jobs I can read the writing on the wall before being sacked because I'm too difficult.

David Falconer 3 Thanks for cheering me up  with comment. My family have all worked in the rmed services, and my self till I have a breakdown. I welcome the chance of getting back to work, but even the job centre has said I'm not ready yet, I have also been to worklink where I was verbally abused reapeatedly by one member of staff saying AM i READY YET over and over again. I had volungteered to go therre, his commments destroyed me.

serennos thanks for that I agree with you.

Deave point taken, I just can't read full story, it upsets me too much. I dare not watch or read the news at the moment as I feel constantly attacked.

08/04/2013 at 09:56

Sinbad, much as I sympathise with your plight I'm not sure why you're posting on this forum. It isn't the right place for the sort of support you seem to be seeking.

Try the link below. It has a sub forum dedicated to PTSD and offers plenty of advice on other anxiety issues, perhaps it would be the best place for you:

08/04/2013 at 12:23

Hi All,

I understand. I'm angry with the whole thing thats all

Pudge    pirate
08/04/2013 at 12:47

David Falconer 3 wrote (see)

To quote the lyricist Marshall Mathers.

"You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some"


Ah, such literary genius. I believe, from the same poet who declared "Alas, thou doth not want to fuck with Shady, else Shady will(eth) fucking kill thou"



08/04/2013 at 12:56
Screamapillar wrote (see)

Sinbad, much as I sympathise with your plight I'm not sure why you're posting on this forum. It isn't the right place for the sort of support you seem to be seeking.



What, you mean the 'Clubhouse' forum?

Most (everyone?) with mental health issues are used to be told, "this is not the right place"

08/04/2013 at 13:01

Hi All,

I'm jusgt angry at the treatment people get.

I won't ever post here again

08/04/2013 at 13:19
SideBurn wrote (see)
Screamapillar wrote (see)

Sinbad, much as I sympathise with your plight I'm not sure why you're posting on this forum. It isn't the right place for the sort of support you seem to be seeking.



What, you mean the 'Clubhouse' forum?

Most (everyone?) with mental health issues are used to be told, "this is not the right place"


Don't be obtuse Sideburn - I mean a running forum. I was suggesting the OP might find better support elsewhere - which he will.

If you can't see that I was trying to be helpful then I despair of you.

08/04/2013 at 13:35

Like the OP Screamapillar I am.. maybe not angry, but disappointed by the way people are.. processed? Is that the right word. I like the way you say they -will- get support.

I see them turning up at A&E, the local custody suit, dead....

I just hate the way people like this are ignored, feared and abused further by 'the system' despite a significant budget, many trained professionals etc. I don't have an answer but regularly think, "there must be a better way".... 

Maybe I was being obtuse but I welcome discussion on this subject, and this is a 'forum'

08/04/2013 at 13:55


Not that it's any of your business but I'll tell you - I 've had anxiety issues in the past but I didn't come on here and post about them.

Why? becasue it wasn't the place. Because the people I needed to be talking to at the time were other people who were going through the same thing not a random bunch of people who only had running in common.

There is nothing wrong with a general discussion on welfare issues but to my mind the OP's original post was far from that, it was very personal and suggests to me that he wants to talk his issues in more depth. If he does want to speak to people in a similar situation and perhaps get some practical support and advice this is not the place to find it. At best he will get frustrated and at worst ridiculed. Neither is good.


Edited: 08/04/2013 at 14:00
08/04/2013 at 14:01


A good point, well made, and nice to see certain posters above have emphasised your point...

But hopefully you can see my point as well....

08/04/2013 at 14:15

Maybe it wasn't the place for you screamapillar but maybe it was a start for sinbad. 

Pudge    pirate
08/04/2013 at 14:15
SideBurn wrote (see)


A good point, well made, and nice to see certain posters above have emphasised your point...

But hopefully you can see my point as well....

Sideburn - I actually can see your point, I think.  What I've taken you to mean is that people should be able to discuss mental health as they would any other subject in general conversation (such as, a poorly foot, the state of youth today, the rising cost of petrol, and such other clubhouse banter).  However, because it is still a taboo subject, people do not want to talk about it and so those with mental health issues are asked to "go and talk about it with someone else because here isn't the appropriate place to be doing so".

Having said that, you did come across as having a bit of a chip on your shoulder in your initial comment to Screamapillar.  I think she was trying to offer some constructive guidance, not trying to shoo the OP away.

seren nos    pirate
08/04/2013 at 14:19

I agree.........we often discuss mental health issues......but the problem when someone is still in a difficult personal that an open forum like this where people are not always aware of problems.......

you are open to all types of comments and which you might not be able to handle.......

there are other forums where you will get better support and understanding......

when people are at their most vunerable then the slightest negative or stupid comment can really be too much to i took it that screamappilar was trying to be helpful and supportive.......

Pudge    pirate
08/04/2013 at 14:21
David Falconer 3 wrote (see)

My Dad says depression is nothing a good kick up the backside couldnt fix.


Your Dad has clearly never suffered with depression then?

I'm guessing he's as wordly wise as you are?

Edited: 08/04/2013 at 14:22
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