Coping with divorce after husbamds affair

Coping with divorce after husbamds affair

16 messages
17/11/2012 at 23:33

Hi,

I thought I would just say a quick hello and share my story, I would love to hear from anyone who has had a similar experince.

At the end of last year I coimpleted the Couch to 5K plan and then in March I ran my first 10K race.  Soon after this, I dicovered my husband had been having an affair and he was going to leave me for the "other woman".

Since this time I have felt all my energy I have had been needed to help me cope with this devsating news and to re-start a new life. The thought of training was too much to ask as well.

But these last few weeks, ive been really missing the fresh air and the feeling of being well and fit.  I think Im finally starting to turn towards wanting to love and look after myself instead of just wanting to cry all the time,

Im really hoping running will help me feel like the old me again, healthy. happy, strong and fit. Wish me luck LOL

  

17/11/2012 at 23:44

Good luck!

17/11/2012 at 23:46

Good luck, hope this takes you on the road to recovery

18/11/2012 at 00:10

Good luck - and I think you're right, running will help you feel all those things and help you get through. I hope it does.

18/11/2012 at 01:07

(((Abby))) your ex was obviously a jerk, run like the wind, enjoy life and good luck!

18/11/2012 at 10:10

Good luck Abby.
Enjoy your running and your life. 

18/11/2012 at 10:44

Good for you Abby. Keep up the running and training and sign up for another race. Nothing like an impending race to keep you motivated. Running is great for releasing stress and turning negative energy into positive feelings. It won't take long for you to be a fitter, healthier, happier you. Keep us all posted, good and bad times.

18/11/2012 at 11:34

You'll get a lot of pleasure out of running and it really helps your self-confidence.

 

A good way to make new friends, too.

 

Make sure you don't stop when things get better for you!

 

18/11/2012 at 13:15
(((Abbey))) running will give you that feel good feeling x
18/11/2012 at 15:15

Hi Abby, if we're all honest we run to stronger. Whether thats physically stronger (strong legs, heart, etc) or mentally stronger (I won't stop at the next lamp post, I will finish this 10k!!), but it also makes us emotionally stronger (I know they're laughing at my sparrows legs in these running tights and I don't care!! LOL). Running makes you a stronger person all round so keep going, enjoy the time you have to yourself where the road lets your mind un tangle itself without any real input from the conscious you and smile when you get fitter, faster and have moved on (with the benefit of quicker times and new running friends!!).

Take care and all the best.

18/11/2012 at 18:20
Good luck Abby. Enjoy the running - it always makes me feel happier about everything afterwards. Stay strong. X
18/11/2012 at 18:21

Focus on yourself Abbey, running should help  

Good luck with moving on from the relationship,  Enter yourself into a real challenging run and train as much as you can.

30/11/2012 at 23:24

Hi Abby - just wondered how you and your running were getting on. Keep posting!

06/12/2012 at 21:11
Use this mishap in your life as a motivation to push yourself. Try and make a positive out of a negative.
Best of luck.
You've made the first step, so keep us all informed.
07/12/2012 at 12:41

Big hugs, Abbey. Try and keep your head high & your chin up. Running should really help you feel better in more than one way, leave your sadness, frustration & anger on the roads and return home stronger & happier.
Good luck & all the best  x

07/12/2012 at 14:30

I'm glad to hear that running is a positive help in what must be a pretty tough time of your life. I was training for my first marathon a few years back when my marriage hit the rocks, culminating in final separation a few weeks before the race. Needless to say I was devestated and my heart wasn't in my running, but i'd get out there as much as possible and plough through it, more as a distraction than anything else. I lost weight (too much, I was already a healthy weight) from not eating well and I struggled to get a good night's sleep for months, but over time it passed.

During the marathon though I was feeling pretty low generally, but used the preparation for the race as a way to focus on something that was just about me, not about my ex or our relationship. I'd heard a quote from Dean Karnazes (spelling?) which I think was taken in turn from Martin Luther King, that went along the lines of "if you can't run you walk, if you can't walk you crawl, but keep moving forwards" (I'm paraphrasing). I knew at the start line that I was not prepared well enough for the race, but I was determined to finish come what may, so when the wheels fell off around mile 18-19 I had the thought with me "run, walk or crawl, i'm going to cross that line". And I did. And it felt like a massive release, and I laughed out loud to myself. It felt like a lot of tension lifting. It certainly wasn't the end of my low period but for a while gave me a real sense of achievement and relief.

I've dipped in and out of running since, and only the last 3-4 months have developed some consistency in my training. I'm in a happy relationship again now, but enjoy the solitude of running by myself, and the enjoyment of having something that's just for me.

Running on it's own won't make you feel like the old you, but it will contribute towards creating a healthy new you


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