Disabled and desperate

Over 50, Overweight, Life feels over

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09/11/2008 at 15:54

Blimey .. doesn't time fly by ... finally getting round to screwing the doors handles onto the wardrobes properly .. I knew I had a screwdriver somewhere .. but just couldn't find it .. opened one of the ktchen drawers this morning and there it was  right on top ... but I KNOW I'd looked there several times and I'm sure it wasn't there .. hope I haven't brought the poltergeist from my last home here ..

It doesn't help I am having a 'funny' few days ..  'flu feelings raging .. not a cold but proper influenza .. head feels 'mashed' .. sweating then cold .. everything aching like billy-o .. I just want to lay in bed ... but when I get there I feel 'icky and restless ... but then I am soooooo used to this by now .. comes round at least once a month ...

 Saw some lovely fireworks the last few nights .. perfectly placed in the gap between all the trees .. just had to look out and I could see them nicely ... did anyone go to a display .. or have fireworks at home ??

09/11/2008 at 16:45

hope you're over your flu symptons soon Toots.

Beachy Head was great thank you - I met loads of people from on here and we were lucky with the weather and it is such beautiful coutryside. Definitley a case of walking the steep uphills Screamy - even most of the faster people have to walk the really steep bits - to a mortal like me they are unrunnable, or anyway faster walking than running! Unfortuntaely after about 8 miles I had a pain in my leg that kept stopping me - it turns out it is my IT Band - but a kind guy took pity on me after about 17 miles and gave me some ibruprofen and after that I could run much more freely - in fact I was running faster between 20-26 miles than before that. I did 5.26 which I was pleased with considering the terrain. I have entered Hastings marathon in a few weeks, but have been having physio on my leg for the last couple of weeks and have not been able to run pain-free - more physio tomorrow and still holding onto the hope I will be able to do Hastings. That is a road marathon and so I should be able to do it faster but I really need to get some runs in beforehand.

10/11/2008 at 12:05

Very well done you, B! 5.26 on that kind of terrain is BRILLIANT!

Toots, I'm so sorry to hear you've got the flu. But it sounds like at least you're being sensible and taking it easy. So many people bash on hoping it will pass, but even if they seem to be getting better it so often turns around and bites them again even harder. So you lie low until you're really better, OK?

Must have been lovely to see the fireworks, though. I love fireworks, there's something so magical about them, they give back the wonder of childhood for just a minute. Of course here in Cloggyland nobody does fireworks on 5 November: it's new year's eve when they come out in force, and then they REALLY come out! We live about 5 miles from The Hague, and it sounds, quite seriously, like a bombardment with heavy artillery. A bit too much of a good thing, perhaps!! But these days we're usually in France for new year anyway, where they don't do anything at all in public as far as we can tell!

Has the weather improved over there yet? We always get your weather 24 hours later, so it's storm, wind and rain all round here today. I'm hoping it will calm down tomorrow....!

10/11/2008 at 16:36

Hi all,

5.26 is faster than I can run on the flat, well done B

Hope you feel better soon Toots - I have have had a cold for 4 weeks out of 6 which is isn't like  me at all but speaking to other people these long-lasting colds seem to be something that's going round at the moment.

We had a few fireworks in the garden on Wednesday.  

10/11/2008 at 19:30

It's not a dose of the 'flu .. just the fibro 'flu like symptoms making themselves known more than usual .. happens roughly every  8-10 weeks ...  each and everyday is like having a touch of the 'flu .. but for some reason it is just a lot worse for a few days, every so often.

 But feeling a bit brighter this evening .. haven't had the 'cold sweats' at all today .. so hopefully a better nights sleep than I've had the last 4-5 nights will put me to rights again ..

22/11/2008 at 15:40

Well .. what an odd few weeks it's been ... had the longest spell of feeling 'fluey that I've had for a long long time .. but finally getting back to 'normality ' now ..

I've had sad news from my sis .. her hubby's mother has died, she had been very ill for some time so in many ways it's a blessed release for her ..  then on 3rd November 2 of my radiators sprung leaks (thankfully spotted it quickly so no mess) .. the heating engineer who came round had never seen radiator fittings like them so they are still not repaired ... and for reasons which we haven't as yet worked out the really lovely Scheme Manager here has been suspended for 3 weeks and then was sacked yesterday  

Even as I type they are loading up all their possessions into his works van ready to go who knows where ... some of the older ladies here are really distraught .. and a bit scared of what the future holds ... flippin' norah all that checking and finding out about this place before deciding to move was pretty much all for n'owt .. although of course the place and village are still perfect ... I just hope the new Scheme Manager is half as good ... they'll be my new neighbour as well

25/11/2008 at 17:00

Huh?  What did the scheme manager do?  Very strange.

Been a while... The Original Moutain Marathon: yep, total storm in a teacup.  They hold it at that time of year in order to get rough weather, it's part of the challenge, and most of the participants loved it.  It's a 2 day event so they all expected to sleep out: they were not 'forced to take shelter in tents and barns'.  Those were there own tents and the barn was a half built one next to the field they would have been camping in anyway.  A lot of those unacounted for were actually unacounted for because a certain mine manager told them to turn back from walking over a pass towards the start, where they would have been checked in, and where race authorities had told them to go.  That being the same mine manager who was giving the media statements about the lake district being turned into a morgue...  No tax payers money was wasted.  Mountain rescue are supported by donations (and race competitors are now making massive donation amounts...).  Most of the rescue effort was not actually needed, and was exagerated.  More people were rescued that weekend who were not involved in the event than were.  One at least of the local mountain rescue groups declined to take part as they felt they weren't needed.  Many members of mountain rescue were there... doing the event!  The RAF helicopter would have had to stage a training exercise if they hadn't had some 'real' practice. In the end they had less serious injury than a major event such as the Great North Run (and no deaths). 

Anyway... still pretty busy.  Doing some more dogwalking.  Not riding the bike much (turns out the bike is fine for me (I got the physio to have a look at me on it).  The problem is a pretty normal woman's one: wide hips, means my knees don't track too well.  Would be a problem with any bike.  I'm working on it with physio, but it's always going to be a problem with biking (and running).

25/11/2008 at 18:06

Sorry to hear about your knees .. womanly curves and bicycles .. obviously no a good mix.

 And that's some good info about the now 'infamous' lake district marathon .. typical of the media making a huge palaver out of it .. no doubt some folks were not as well prepared as others .. but I dare say they would have been helped out by those who were more experienced ..

26/11/2008 at 17:18

Yeah, they were all in pairs, so inexperienced were meant to be paired with experienced. They did have random kit checks, but I guess some could have got through that.  I remember reading one account by people who dropped out because the rain was coming in all of the seams of their waterproofs.  The race rules actually specify taped seams, I guess to stop that.  Of course it's folks like that who came off the mountain who are the ones the media mostly spoke to.

I've been reading the event website...

03/12/2008 at 08:26
Yesterday I got up at 5am ... no .. I didn't want or need to .. just couldn't sleep any longer ... 

Start having a look around all the competition sites to look for more online Advent competitions to enter .. but got sidetracked as usual .. 

Put some bread mix into the bread maker ... had several cups of coffee ... 9am .. went for a shower .. threw some clothes on .. and still fresh from the shower took the bread out of the bread maker ... mmmmmm .. glorious yeasty bread smells .. a lovely super crusty loaf of wholemeal bread ... shook the bread out of the baking pan .. and it was hot hot HOT .. grabbed the loaf to get it onto the cooling rack ... and .....

.... cut my flippin' finger on the crust .... 

You see my skin was still tender soft from the shower ... and a little bit of the lovely crunchy crust sliced into a little bit of skin ... when I whipped my hand away with shock and pain .. the little bit of crunchy crust broke off and stayed in my finger .. had to do a 'mini op' to remove the piece of crust ... now how daft is that ... could only happen to me ... 
Edited: 03/12/2008 at 08:29
05/12/2008 at 08:56

Now I've cut my finger on a ten pound not Patootie, but never on a bread crust - you silly sausage! 

Hope the cold isn't making you suffer too much. I am getting a bit fed up with it.  I like running in my woolly hat though

05/12/2008 at 18:25

Sorry to have been away for so long, but it looks as if everyone has had a bit of a breather over the last few weeks.

Toots, I did have to laugh---only you could cut your finger on bread! It sounded so delish it must have been worth it, though! (That's the bread, not your finger.)

More worrying to hear that the Manager has left. That sort of person so often sets the whole tone of a small community like that. Have you had any news at all about the successor? How is she chosen? Do you have any say in it? Your new home sounds so perfect, I really, REALLY hope they choose someone nice who will keep the lovely atmosphere.  But you did say the place is run by a private trust, and they usually are more sensitive in their choices than public authorities are.

Rowan, what you said about the mountain marathon was interesting, especially about the rescue teams. I guess that was my only hesitation: I think people are entitled to take whatever risks they want to with their own safety, but they shouldn't do it at the expense of others and I was worried at first by what was in the news about the rescue teams going out there at risk to themselves. Sounds like that was a load of cobblers. Not surprisingly.

Well, in the last month I've been to Copenhagen with Chuglet 1 (who is now 25 and working in London). We booked it aaaages ago so we could get cheapo flights and hotel, and we had a real blast. Two days is about right as it's not a very large city; but we got to walk all over the old centre, and one day we took a 5 hour bus tour that went to three royal palaces all within about 40 minutes' drive of the city. One of them was the Hamlet castle, and one was really spectacular, Frederiksborg. It was built in the 1600's then caught fire in about 1850 and was rebuilt with support from the man behind Carlsberg beer! It houses the national history museum, and it really is magnificent. Look here . If you click on 'Shortguide' and then in the next screen click on 'interior' you get to some photos that give you a little idea.

Screamy, good for you for running in the cold! I haven't been out for over 2 weeks, I'm sorry to say---a combination of no time, and a disinclination to run when it's slippery. The frosty nights are supposed to be behind us, so I'm hoping to do better this week.

Patootie, are you over the worst of that fibro bout now? From reading back it looked as if you had a nasty couple of weeks at the start of November but I hope that's well and truly behind you now.

So what other news is there???

12/12/2008 at 07:53

Patootie, you out there? Don't post if you don't feel like it, I'm just hoping the cold weather hasn't set the fibro off again.

Are you ready for Christmas? I'm not! Chuglets 1 and 2 (working in London and at uni in Chester, respectively) are coming home today, which will be brill. C1 will join me in the choir for Nine Lessons and CArols on Sunday night, then she has to go back to London for another week but C2 will stay now til the new year )) I think C3 will be relieved to have someone distract the parents for a little while so he can get on with his life!

Anyway, hope everyone is well and looking forward to Christmas!

12/12/2008 at 09:25

Bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning

Went on a training course last week ... "Working with Contractors" .. sounds very dry but was quite enjoyable .. but yesterday afternoon I got a phone call asking me how the course went and would I 'pop in' to the housing societies head office this morning and tell them all about the course

As per my usual short term memory loss problems I am right at this minute trying to make up some decent 'crib' notes so I can talk about the course ...  so fogive me if I don't stop and chat right now .. I am having to reach into the very back of my brain to try and remember things from last week and get them written down ..

Will pop back in and chat later this afternoon ...

12/12/2008 at 11:16

Last week - sometimes I can barely remember what happened yesterday!

I bet the birds are going bananas with the bird feeders in this cold weather aren't they? - we have one family of 4 sparrows that are getting through a feederful of seed every single day at the moment 

12/12/2008 at 14:34

Well .. I am back from the meeting ... we had a veritable feast of scrummy sandwiches and cakes provided for us .. huge pots of coffee .. and ...  .. ohhh yes ... I went there for a meeting didn't I ... not a scoffathon ....

So ... I think I have signed away the next 5 years of my life in attending more courses and turning up for various meetings ...  but I am sure I will enjoy it ... and at the end of the day I can have a proper say in what happens to the complex I live in ....

It's quite scary how 'expenses' are not even queried ... with last weeks training course and todays meeting I have had taxi's costing more than half my weekly rent ... plus all the nibbles today and last weeks lunch at the Cambridge Hilton ... streuth . I haven't lived this grandly for years .. hahaha

It's nice to be mentally challenged once again though .. I can feel my mind starting to roll over and pick up speed ... I know some folks revel in physical challenges .. but I am a purely cerebral kind of person ... and I like the other folks I will be meeting up with ... very much 'minds alike' ...

On a different topic ... I am SOOOOOOOO excited ... I have booked a theatre ticket for next years performance of Evita at the corn Exchange ... I love that show and I have a fantastic ticket on the front of the balcony right in the middle seat .. it's the very best seat in the house as far as seeing the stage goes ... no one in front .. and elevated so you see all the stage .. I've booked a matinee performance which is roughly half the cost of the evening shows .... AND I even got that at a further half price concession for disabled folks ..... so instead of paying the full £32.50 ... I have spent just £10 ... leaving me with enough left over to pay for taxi's ... just one problem .. I have to wait until May 6th

12/12/2008 at 23:54

Oh YIPPEEEEEE!!!! Patootie, it sounds like such a lot of good things are happening for you just now---just brilliant!

Your account of your new---role? responsibility? is very tantalising, though! What have you actually signed up to do, and for whom? You are going to attend a lot of training---are your reviewing the trainers, or acquiring new skills yourself, or what??? Come on, we want to know every disgusting little detail! (Although ANYTHING that comes with copious quantities of good food attached is definitely worth doing )

And a trip to the theatre is always great. I usually feel it's going to be too much trouble while I'm getting ready, but afterwards IO realise how much mentral refreshment it gives. And to be able to have a great seat for Evita for 10 quid is very nice indeed!

Choir Christmas party after rehearsal tonight so I didn't get home til nearly midnight (we're an hour ahead of you over here) and now I'm falling asleep so happy dreams, more tomorrow!

13/12/2008 at 01:51

GC said ... "Your account of your new---role? responsibility? is very tantalising, though! What have you actually signed up to do, and for whom?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be honest I am not quite sure of all the things I can do yet  .. basically it is all to do with the housing association that owns the property where I live ... it all started when I was asked to join what they call their "customer panel" .. it's group of residents that get together with the housing association and help to make good things happen at the various housing complexes ...

First of all ... I need to make sure I am not doing anything I shouldn't because of my benefit situation ... I think I'm ok .. it's NOT a job, I am NOT paid and I can do as little as I please .. but to participate properly I would need to attend some more training courses .. and that may be a problem .. the housing people have loads of courses I can do .. but I am 'not allowed to improve myself' .. according to my benefit situation.

But I know the right man to ask about this and will contact him over the weekend ... I certainly want to be involved .. but don't want it to completely take over my life .. hehehe .. I just can't eat that many scrummy sandwiches

The things suggested so far are inspecting properties people are moving out from, inspecting work done by contractors, sitting in on interviews with new scheme managers or other staff and that kind of thing ... probably just for the three sheltered housing schemes as that's the kind of complex I already live in .. so obviously it's not going to be a regular thing .. but it's all the 'learning how to do it properly' that will take the most time up and keeping up to date with new rules ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I know I get half price concessions for the shows I will be looking for more of them ... if I book up well in advance I can be sure of getting a good seat with uninterrupted views ... I just hope I can manage all the steps down to the front of the balcony and sit still long enough to see the show ...

13/12/2008 at 17:44

Wow, Patootie, that sounds really great! And VERY sensible of the organisers to have a real-live resident look at this stuff. So often selection and inspection is left to people who won't be personally affected by the result----and that DOES affect the way you look at things!

I can't believe that ANY benefits system would prevent you from learning how to do things so that you could assist a charity. That would be truly crackers. Do let us know what your knowledgeable buddy says about this, because this one would be worth fighting. The whole POINT of benefits should be to help people do all they can do---to build them up, not infantilise them! And especially from someone who is as intelligent, energetic and talented as you are, it would be gravely wrong if you couldn't use your gifts to help other people.

As to the theatre, I'm just green with envy. Go and see as many shows as you can---and then come tell us about them!!! And you know, if it should turn out that you can't manage all the stairs, the theatre itself should be able to help you find a way around that. Again, they would probably be willing to think creatively if necessary, because everyone likes to deal with someone who is so enthusiastic and interested!

It's CO-HO-HOLD here! Has barely gone above 0 C here all day, and as it's been cold for a couple of weeks, the cold has sunk right into the ground, and the walls and everything. We're lucky, we have good central heating and tonight we'll have an open fire, but I'm going to bed with two hot water bottles and a thick fleece jumper over my nightie!  I hope it's a bit milder with you, if only cos I think the cold sets the fibro off, doesn't it?

And by the way, is your new house completely fixed up now? All cupboards in, all kitchen appliances applied etc? Now that the bedroom cupboards are in, I think you're really settled in, aren't you??

13/12/2008 at 19:53

Phew .. what a lot to reply to .. so in order ....

Benefits .... you have to remember I am actually 'off sick' from work (and have been for over 15 years) .. so realistically if I can go and do training, learn new things and attend meetings ... from the Benefits Agencies point of view I really should be applying all that energy to finding a job .... the difference is ... with the courses I might go on they will almost certainly be weeks apart .. one day at a time affairs .. and I don't have to get myself to the venue .. with getting a job .. I MUST attend daily, week after week and get myself there and back too .. everyone understands all that except the Benefits Agency .. so I may need to make sure I can do it before I get started ...

Theatre .. the venue does have much easier accessible seats ... it's just they are not in the best positions to see the shows as I would like to ... I have chosen seats where I will need to 'do the slope/steps' .. but as per usual with 'more difficult places' I will get there extra early ... ask for a bit of help to get to my seat before others come in ... and will wait patiently until the 'rush' is over before leaving .. fingers crossed I don't get an attack of vertigo walking down the slope/steps to my seat ..

Cold ... I'm having one of my 'phew it's hot' days .. it was about 9C outside around midday here ... but I think it may be colder tonight  ... and of course my flat is so nice and cosy and warm ... it's always a very pleasant 20-22C day and night .. last winter I really struggled to keep my old home to 15-16C during the day and 8-10C at night ..

New home .. yes .. I am really getting sorted now ... been unpacking and repacking for weeks and weeks now and then ... but finally getting the things I want in the right places .. a 6ft Christmas tree sits  resplendent in the window bay ...looks great .. baubles, gold and silver bows, 100 tiny lights twinkling reflectively in the rain splattered window ... and it's a very special tree ... built as a spiral it comes ready decorated and all I have to do is lift the middle bit on to the top of the central rod ... and that's it .. a perfectly deorated tree in seconds ...

The new 5 deep chest of drawers arrived Thursday (matches all the bedroom furniture I had a few weeks ago)  .. so I now have loads and loads of space for storing clothes etc  .. 6ft hanging space ... 6ft deep top boxes .. 6 ft of shoe/handbag storage space ... 8 deep drawers in 2 sets of drawers ..

In a few weeks they will start to fit the new kitchens here ... and once I get more cupboard space I shall be able to get all my kitchen gadgets stored away better ... then I just need to get the bath taken out and a shower cubicle in .... and that will be the last space that really needs some work doing to it to make it all as I want ... I am soooooo very lucky ... I never expected to have such a lovely home all fitted out to make my life easier ... just got to make the most of it now ...

Edited: 13/12/2008 at 19:58
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