Disabled and desperate

I'm really not sure where to start ...

But perhaps at the beginning would help .. born desperately ill .. childhood mainly ill with brief 'well spells' .. early adulthood a mixture of illness, taking the wrong path (no running pun intended), and sorting out my life's mistakes .. early 30's divorced and in love with life for first time .. finally getting some fitness by learning how to run .. woweee isn't running wonderful 

 Then hit 40 ... and promptly invalided out of the work force with sudden onset Fibromyalgia Syndrome to go along with my lifetime Severe Regenerative Osteo-Arthritis and Chronic Asthma ..

 So .. to cut a very long story short .. since 40 the weight has piled on .. the 'Fibro' plays havoc on a daily basis .. and I admit it .. I have buried my head in the sand for 15 long years .. 'can't exercise' because of the ensuing 'fibro' pain ... 'won't exercise' because I am too scared to because of the 'expected pain' .. and now totally embarrassed by the sight of my humungous body wobbling around ..

I really only joined Runners to see what 'new' equipment or clothing might give me a glimmer of hope .. but then I found this forum and spent ages reading some of the posts .. at first I was 'scared' it would be all 'super athletes' .. well honed .. gazillions of miles a week training .. and all running faster than light ..

 But .. you are all 'real people' .. many with real problems .. many fighting weight and fitness issues .. and I cried ... real hot tears of long built up bitterness, years of frustration, self pity, anger and .. well .. I just had to say something ...

 Even if no one was to reply .. you have all done far more for my lack of inner self confidence and low esteem than you will ever know .. more than any doctors, physios, carers or other such supposedly helpful people have managed over a lifetime ...

So .. I know it's down to me now .. even if I won't ever run a marathon (or more likely even want to) .. I can ... and WILL .. do something positive about my weight and fitness .. something every day .. no matter how small, short or easy the challenge .. I WILL do it every day .. sensibly and positively .. and hopefully build it up slowly .. because even walking for more than 100 metres without pain would be a result

So thank you .. thank you for all being here ...  .. and I hope you won't mind if I pop back in from time to time to 'reinforce' the positive buzz I got from coming here today

Jan - it's a long road to being fit and healthy, but you've made the first important step.  Believe me, it does get easier.

PS - I always said I'd never run a marathon, I'm now in training for my first!!!

Jan,

An excellent first post, and hopefully many more to come. I'm sure you will gain further from the forum, and I hope the positive attitude you're displaying will be contagious

Hey Jan, glad to hear you've been inspired by the forum.

There are indeed all sorts of people knocking around in here. We've all had different life experiences and as runners we are all different too, from the super fast to the slow plodders  - I belong to the second group!

If there's a question you need to ask or a problem you need solving - on just about any subject you can think of  - someone here will be able to offer advice.  

Get yourself a nickname (much better for confidentiality) and come back as often as you like.

Hope your health improves soon, and good luck 

Hi Jan,

You've made the first step already and that's always the hardest.  You know you don't have to run marathons to be a runner, for some it's like a marathon just going round the block, it certainly was for me the first time as I'm asthmatic too.

Keep us updated on your progress and if you have any problems, running or otherwise, there's always somebody around on the forum to offer help.

Jan...dont know anything about some of the illnesses you mention, but it sounds as though you have the will to exercise and do something about the situation you are in. I think this is one of the most important things....you have to WANT to be active etc.

Simply getting out and doing a little walking every day could be a good start....or even joining a gym could help...as there will be machines that you can use that wont put ANY stress on your joints, but allow the cardio to be done adn therefore work on reducing your weight.

Gyms will be the same as here....normal folk....some super fit fast types, others just starting out....some posers....just like the real world. Gym I goto has all shapes and sizes, and I dont think anyone pays any real attention to anyone, so that initial insecurity will soon go.....I felt as though everyone was looking at me when I 1st went!....then you realise theyre not!

Good luck, and seek help or inspiration from whereever.

Screamapillar said ... "Get yourself a nickname (much better for confidentiality) and come back as often as you like."

 I used one .. 'patootie' .. but for some reason my first post came up with my real name ..  it's on top of this post right enough .. so maybe I was just too fast to post for it all to get technically sorted properly .. I wrote my message while waiting for the authenticate forum membership to come through  and posted the instant I had clicked to join .. utterly silly .. all my fault ..

Still never mind .. I have nothing to hide .. and that mistake might just make me even more determined to 'do what I said I'll do' .. hehehe ... can't hide behind a nickname now can I ..

Nick L .. gyms are few and far between here in the depths of the Cambridgshire Fens (just fields to horizon, no social life, no men) .. and unfortunately the miserly disability benefits I receive simply wouldn't stretch to paying to join either .. and errr .. well .. my fitness level is 'knackered' just getting to my car .. never mind going out .. Fibro is a pretty nasty syndrome .. total fatigue daily, far too much muscle based pain daily .. and a crazy assortment of over 60 symptoms that 'stuff you up' both mentally and physically ..

Thank you everyone .. I am truly bowled over by your instant and most friendly welcome ..

Just done the most important first steps .. weighed myself  .. measured myself  .. and took a good look in my food cupboards ..

Good start Patootie!

patootie - Welcome! and Good Luck with your new lifestyle!

I don't know anything about Fibro, but hopefully you can manage a short walk?

How about that 100m you were talking about? 50m?

start small, take it easy and build it up over time - it really works!

...ok Patootie......

I guess then you will have to make simple lifestyle changes to bring about the benefits that you want...and it sounds as though you are going about things the right way.

little steps at first...they will make a difference....just have to be stubborn and stick at them!

Swimming....could offer guidance on adult clubs?

Cambridge PHAB Club (Physical Disabled and Able Bodied)

Hester Adrian Centre, 23 Sedgwick Street, Cambridgeshire, CB1 3AJ

Telephone: 01223 240163

The PHAB Club provides opportunities for physically disabled and able bodied people to meet together on equal terms.

More links on groups?

Old BBC Link...may help?

patootie...you'll get to where ever you want to be...and if you stick with RW you'll probs have a great time along the way...it's been a massive help to me, especially as I've just moved away from the majority of my friends...RW is a constant, familiar and friendly place to be!

just a thought...but would your gp be able to refer you to a fitness scheme? I know some local hospitals or leisure centres do referall programmes...where I guess they would be better placed to understand support you in your training with the various medical elements to consider?

not quite the same but my mum has just finished treatment for breat cancer and so is looking to lose all the weight she put on through chemo etc...she's benefited from having the support of a gym who are pretty clued up on what she can/can't...should/shouldn't do (we have a fairly big/new cancer unit in town who i think have done work with the gym)

Hi patootie and welcome to the forums !

Sounds like you've had and are still having a rough time of it so I admire your positive attitude. As the others said, take things very slowly and don't expect too much of yourself at the start. Remember that old saying "From little acorns mighty oak trees grow" so easy does it and you'll get to where you want to be

Nick L wrote (see)

Cambridge PHAB Club (Physical Disabled and Able Bodied)

Hester Adrian Centre, 23 Sedgwick Street, Cambridgeshire, CB1 3AJ

Telephone: 01223 240163

 I'm truly amazed .. I've lived here 23 years .. been plaguing my docs, the hospital, physios and my occupational therapists for just such a place for 10 years or more .. and not once has anyone so much as mentioned these folks .. they aren't in my local disability 90 page booklet of societies etc that help the disabled, aged etc  ..  even the local council Access forum hasn't heard of them .. they must be one of the best kept secrets of all time ..

 Thank you so very much .. I shall check them out in the New Year