Giving up the booze

Can I?!!!

29,001 to 29,020 of 31,656 messages
14/06/2012 at 11:05

Morning TST and all

When do you start with your coach?  Well exciting

I used to swim for a club, did 2 years in the main squad at about 14 ish then returned at 19 and joined masters and swam with them for 10 years till I moved down here.  Gave it up as there was nothing around at the time.

Yup, he got a 5m badge and one for passing his stage 1 level, he's off into stage 2 when we get back.

Right, best attempt some packing......

14/06/2012 at 16:14

Thanks folks - twas a bad day indeed but yesterday was a good day and today''s not been too bad so far   There are consequences at school but it can be hard to enforece them - the whole class went on a trip to London yesterday but kc wasn't allowed to go - that was decided ages ago, they can't risk her running off or starting on a train or coach etc.  She still had to go to school yesterday though.  She's going to start some new type of modular therapy soon, I think it's much more direct that simple art therapy and she'll have to confront some of her fears and behaviours - it's likely that it'll get much worse before it gets better when she starts that .

Wish I was going on holiday somewhere hot Cinders...........  I shall buy some bed rolls and sleeping bags today and pack up the tent when I fancy it.  I know I just said kc's been ok today but she's just torn up her homework and told me to shut my gob- charming child  Wish me luck for the rest of the evening!




15/06/2012 at 17:13
Has today been any better SL?

A quick hola. Thomas has conked out over tea. Been a very long day so I'm using the wifi in the foyer!
15/06/2012 at 19:27

Hola amiga, si, estaba mejor hoy  much better today thanks, I managed to divert her anger yesterday, I said I didn't  have time for her to get angry cos I was was going to cook her dinner - she stopped 

I wish I was in Spain right now, been a bit rainy and there's more forecast for the weekend!

15/06/2012 at 20:29


Agree with SL.  Wish I was anywhere where the sun was out.

Loved the photo of Thomas in the pool.

15/06/2012 at 21:10

Hi HTF - you've been quiet again lately, is all well in your world?  I've planned to meet a friend to go for a run Monday morning, she's only just started running and has done 2 5ks but doesn't like running on her own so I said I'd meet up with her and go for a run round her way when I've dropped little 'en off to school.  She likes near Mote Park in Maidstone but kc's got to go to Tonbridge School for an 'olympic' sports day so I'm half way there already and I've never been to Mote Park either 

18/06/2012 at 09:00
Morning. Are you running with your friend today SL? Hope KC has a good sports day.

We're off to catch a bus into Salou. Shock horror we had a bit of rain in the night!
18/06/2012 at 10:00

Morning folks - hope you're all well. 

It's been a while since I posted and I can't pretend that I'm doing well, either with booze or running. I'll keep trying on both fronts though.

Things are going well generally and becoming self-employed was a very good thing to do. I have lots of very interesting and fulfilling work to keep me busy!

I do keep up with what you're all up to, even when I'm being rubbish at staying in touch... 

18/06/2012 at 17:21

Afternoon everyone

First session is tonight Cinders - Mr TST says he feels sorry for the coach!!  Is there a masters session near you now then?  Must admit I am jealous of you out in the sunshine too!  Glad you are all enjoying yourselves

How was your run and KC's sports day SL?  *whispers* although I'm not quite sure what the difference is between a normal sports day and an Olympic one!

Hello Aps   Sorry to hear things are going so well, but keep your chin up and keep trying and I'm sure you'll get through your not quite so good patch.  Really pleased to hear your decision to become self-employed is working out

I've had a very productive weekend, we got rid of a table and chairs and some other bits that have been cluttering up the house, did some of the gardening that needed doing and I did a couple of hours each day up the lottie trying to make some inroads into that bloomin' horses tail stuff  

I also finally made the decision to speak to my Mum about some things she did when I was a teenager and which are partly responsible for my drinking.  It was very difficult for me to even make the phone call to say I wanted to talk to her about some things, so I think doing the actual talking is going to be really hard but it has to be done as it's been messing up my head for 30 years now.  I told her that things had come up in counselling, which isn't strictly true as I've known that I needed to discuss these things with her for a long, long time, but I couldn't think of any other way to bring it up.  I don't want to lay blame at her door for things, but I do need to know why she did the things she did just so it stops f*cking my head up any more.  I feel this may be the hardest thing I ever do, but also will probably be the thing that is most helpful to me.  I have arranged to have lunch with her (and both our other halves) on Saturday, so if I'm a bit grumpy and maybe a bit bitchy this week please bear with me.  I'm trying not to take the worry out on others, but I know I've been an ar*e to Mr TST already. 

21/06/2012 at 08:53
Morning all . Last day today. Will read and catch up tomorrow when home
22/06/2012 at 07:00

Morning all!  Been lurking without too much time to post recently. Lots going on!  The office team did Race for Life last Sunday and between us we raised £607 which was amazing.  We'd set our target at £100 just so that we could be sure to meet it!  Parkrun this week and then the horrific Triffic Trail on Sunday.  Not looking forward to that at all - am feeling really sluggish at the mo.  Quite ironic given that I've lost 8lbs in 5 weeks!

Hope you're ok SL.

Enjoy the last day of your hols Cinders - about 5 weeks until we're off

22/06/2012 at 19:01

Back home now   Brrrrrrr, did we skip summer???

Good luck for your talk with your mum tomorrow TST.

Well done on the weight loss and the RFL fundraising Trigger

23/06/2012 at 10:04

Morning all, been lurking too with no time to post then my laptop decided not to work so no chance of posting - using hubby's work one now and he's taking it to a bloke from the pub this morning to get it fixed - hopefully.  I'm keeping everything crossed I can recover most of my stuff - got all kc's stuff on there  

How was Spain Cinders, loved the piccys on fb and so wished I was there too, looks like its gonna be a tent in a field somewhere for us this year.

Fantastic fund raising Trigger - well done to all of you  and well done on losing 5lbs, I think I've found it for you, it's  hiding in my tummy  

Had an interesting morning so far - KC is away on respite this weekend , I was hoping for some quality time together but hubby went to the pub - on the pretext of asking said bloke to mend laptop, came home an hour later then sank 2 bottles of wine in record time before passing out.  I challenged him this morning, told him I couldn't live with it any more - said I felt somewhere deep down he still loved me but couldn't understand why he seemed to want not to be with me - i.e going to the pub first after work then speed drinking wine so he could fall asleep and being unkind or nasty to be before he did.  Or if he did stay awake just ignoring me or talking to me in grunts and noises like some drunk on a park bench.

He wasn't happy and got defensive at first but I stayed calm and told him I was only telling him how I felt and what life was like for me etc. and said I could feel our marraige slipping away etc.   He said he's going to stop and if he can't he'll go to the doctor for help.  Fingers crossed he makes it but at least he's acknowledged it and said he wouldn't promise me anything because so far he's broken all those promises..................

Wish him luck x


23/06/2012 at 10:47

Good luck for you both SL, sounds like it was an overdue talk you had so hope you can both work things out. 

Yay to KC being on respite though

Spain was totally fabulous. Came home with a fish for a son, he's spent all week in the pool   That's it for now, we certainly will be campering from now on when he starts school and have our time away in the school holidays. 

23/06/2012 at 17:45

Sounds like you had a great time Cinders   Apparently the water and boaty bits for the olympics are all happening in Dorset so I'm thinking of Wales for camping, probably Pembrokeshire, either around Tenby/Saundersfoot or St Davids/Newgale - bot nice places.  We really need a not too big or lively place for KC but with a bit of evening entertainment - I know some caravan parks like that but don't know if they allow tents/dogs/unruly kids etc!

23/06/2012 at 21:35

Evening all.

TST, I hope the talk with your mum went off ok. It is an extremely brave thing to do but sounds as if it's necessary.

Well done also SL for having a talk with your hubby. At least he knows where you're coming from and now the ball's in his court. And yes, I do wish him - and you - luck.

Welcome home, Cinders! Glad you had a fab time! I've seen the clip of Thomas swimming - he goes like a little eel, doesn't he?

Hi apps, good to see you, mate. Glad the self-employment thing is working out, but I hope you're not overdoing it and getting some 'me' time.

Hi Trigger, HTF, and everybody else.

Tomorrow afternoon I'm in the choir for a recording of Songs of Praise! Should be fun, we had a rehearsal on Wednesday which was quite chaotic, there were a lot of people allegedly from church choirs who really didn't have much of a clue, but hey! we'll all get into the spirit of it!

Next week I start induction for my new job! As my new boss didn't tell my old bosses when we would be needed until quite late, I'm not actually seeing any clients until the weekend, when I'll be working flat out. Even though I'll be cursing it at the weekend, I'm glad they've done it that way and remembered that I need the hours and that's the way they could squeeze them in.

But as I only have two days induction and another half day training during the week I'll be ready for the fray come Saturday. As the new place doesn't open the doors for customers until August, there'll be a few weeks of that, so I hope the bosses get together so I can have a slightly more rational working pattern.

Edited: 23/06/2012 at 21:36
24/06/2012 at 10:14

Morning all

Hope the recording goes well today Yeo, will it be on tv?  Good luck for the induction for your new job   Sounds a bit manic so hope it calms down when you start.

Lol at eel   He's like a wind up toy for the bath.....wind him up and off he goes.  He's just asked if it's his swimming lesson day today, he's rather keen!

Right, must dust those trainers to find them first lol.  Have  a good Sunday all

24/06/2012 at 21:07

I hope you've got a new hat Yeo for Songs of Praise   Me and my sisters used to watch it as kids just to see who could spot the stupidest looking hat - oh we knew how to entertain ourselves back then  

Seems I got my wires crossed with hubby - I meant not drinking, he meant not drinking at home and had a pint at the pub with our son.  I also know he said he'd try to stop but he seems to have forgotten that already so soon   Time will tell........

I'm back on my raw food tomorrow - I've been eating loads of fruit as normal but loads of rubbish too and what with not running I've found some of the pounds I lost earlier - time to do something about it so I'm joining in a 30 day raw food challenge tomorrow and am really looking foward to it - loads of fruit - whatever I fancy and some young fresh greens - normally spinach or lettuce but cucumber and celery count too, anything I like really and a nice BIG salad for dinner, I normally eat my salad from a mixing bowl it's so big but I suspect I'll have to work my way back up to that quantity again.  I'm so looking forward to feeling light inside again - and the best thing about it is I should get some energy back so feel able to run and the weight will drop off and I'll want to run more (that's the theory anyway.....)

25/06/2012 at 23:30
How did the raw food go today SL?
26/06/2012 at 13:45

Afternoone everyone

Loving the video of Thomas Cinders!  He definitely looked very at home!   Glad you had a good time but what happened to you bringing the sun back with you?!

Fame at last eh, Yeo?  We'll have to look out for you on the telly   Glad everything is going well with the induction; shame it's all a bit squashed in with the bosses not talking to each other, but then that would be the sensible thing to do wouldn't it?!

Sorry that your hubby got your hopes up a bit SL, only to dash them again   Has he at least stopped drinking at home, which would maybe mean he is drinking a bit less?  Hope you're enjoying your raw food though

So, things sort of went ok on Saturday with Mum.  It took me a while to work myself up to bringing things up, and it sort of seemed ok when I finally did.  I don't want to go into things here, but basically she said she hadn't been thinking about things properly when all the problems happened as she'd been too self absorbed in what was going on with herself, and that because I hadn't said anything she thought that everything was ok.  I did point out that hadn't she noticed that my school work had gone down hill, I'd been caught skipping 90% of my lessons, didn't have any friends round the house at all and was drinking?  But apparently she didn't as she was too wrapped up in herself.  It was very draining on the day and I don't think I took it all in properly at the time, but stuff is starting to sink in now.  I've not been sleeping properly and I'm getting more and more angry about stuff she said.  I know that if you have kids you do have a right to a life too, but I really don't feel that you can make huge changes in your life that have a massive impact on everyone around you, then just carry on like everything is normal when it quite clearly isn't.  Just because your children don't say anything it doesn't mean that everyone is happy and everything is alright.  I had no idea how to question what was going on, how the hell do you question one of your parents about life major changes they are making when you are only 14?!  The more I think about the things she said, the more angry I get, and I can't stop it going round in my brain which is stressing me out and means I can't sleep properly.  I thought it may have been me being unreasonable, but Mr TST says my anger is justified over most of it.  I realised that I will need to speak to her again in order for the process to continue, but right now I'm way too angry and am wary of what I may say.  I am seeing the counsellor on Friday, so I shall see what he has to say about it all. 

Mr TST is taking me to the beach tonight as that usually helps me calm down and de-stress a bit.  Feel like I need it as I've also been to the doctors today to be referred to a dietitian as I can't shift any weight (the nutritionist got too expensive) and he also wants to test for diabeties, thyroid and liver function   Am wondering if they'll find out I don't have one left!!

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