Giving up the booze

Afternoon folks

HTF - are you sure you haven't got some new lyrcra kit in your sports bag 

Sounds a good plan TST, I used to go to a swimming club when i was in primary school.  Never been since which is probably why I swim in a splashy kind of way - I don't mind I enjoy it.  KC didn't mix too much with the other kids but did chat to a few, she was ok but wouldn't join in any of the team sporty stuff.

Have you got any plans for the week Cinders??  It can be hard to keep the kids amused can't it.

We were going to go to the Southborough activity day today but it started raining so I managed to talk her out of it.  We went swimming yesterday, she loved it and can actually swim a bit now and we're going again in an hour - I've bought her new goggles as hers fell apart in the pool and a fun float so she can show me what she does in her lessons and have a play about   That's what she thinks but it's actually to get her to swim a bit more .  I don't mind taking her swimming, it tires her out a bit - thats the theory anyway.............

ps - so far today I've had a melon, 9 bananas and 10 dates - 1887 kcals, 93.5% carbs, 2.4 % fat 4.1% protien.  I'll have a salad later to get the greens in and either some more nanas or a load of oranges. 

Great start there SL Am reading some of the msgs on fb. 

Enjoy the swimming later, Thomas has a lesson this pm so Mr C and I both going to watch.  The floats are a fab idea, we have the same so he can show us what he does in his lessons and get him out of using armbands.  He also has some seal sinkers, they go to the bottom and it helps him get confidence to go under water.

It is hard SL, raining quite hard here so outdoor plans out of the question.  Currently got the scalextric out.  See what it's like Friday but hope to get out.

TST, see how you get on with the Masters, it sounds like a good move.  I only ever competed in the relays, I wasn't any good lol

Afternoon peeps.

Don't worry too much about your dream TST, we all have them from time to time.

Ive eaten loads of fruit, but haven't kept count.  Just eaten some Brazil nuts and will chop on some salad later.  Just had to have a couple of cups of tea though!

Starting weight 10st 1lb - ouch. 

Not the same dreams but just lately I've been dreaming I win big on the lottery - I even divi it all up between the family, friends and good causes while I'm asleep.  I'm hoping the fact that a big shiny car/flash house etc isn't in my dream means it might just be me -   not likely but it's a nice dream anyway.

The fb messages make me laugh, there's a big bunch of militant ethical vegans (fluffy bunny cuddlers), and a big bunch of the 'spiritual' lot, they all feel 'ecstatic' and at one with nature and do yoga on one leg .  Then there's 'normal' folk like me, just wanting to be healthy and lose some weight along the way and if I slip up and have steak and chips I really don't think it matters in the bigger scheme of things  

HTF, my number's bigger than your number - the scales at the pool said 10st 12lb and the ones at the docs this morning say 5lbs lighter - both way too much but who cares.  And I've had a few cuppas too - if it helps me eat totally raw then it's worth a drop of milk - but for gawds sake don't mention it on fb - I'll be accused of stealing the poor mother cow's baby food while her baby has been wrenched from her side at birth only to be turned into burgers if it was unfortunate enough to be a boy etc. etc. ad nauseum 

We spent 2 hours in the pool today - couldn't get her out , tomorrow she finds out she's not going home till she's grown up, and they  might tell her that her brother's in care too so I'm anticipating a tough time ahead 

Does that mean she atays with you, SL? Good luck with her reaction to the news, it's bound to be extremely difficult for the poor little mite. 

Your plan failed, HTF, as Bradley found some more kit for his ride. And didn't he do well!

TST, I think pub or drinking dreams are quite common. I still get them, though not as often now. A common scenario is that I've been drinking sneakily and have been found out, and although I get a horrible feeling that I've blown it and wake up upset, it's a huge relief when I realise that it's just a bad dream.

I suppose it's natural that when something has played such an important part of our lives for so long, the memory''s still their in our subconcious.

I've had a fab day off,errr... mostly watching the Olympics and playing Scrabble   Although I did make a very nice veggie curry for my tea.  OK, not raw, but a damn sight more nutritious that what I normally eat

Veg curry sounds nice Yeo   I made myself a smoothie with 6 nanas, 10 satsumas and 4 kiwis that I'd forgotten I had and were on the point of going off, chucked in a handful of spinach and whizzed the lot up with some water - very yummy it was  A total of 3056 kcals for the day with a ratio of 92% carbs 3% fat and 5% protien.  The reason animals like rhinos or apes can grow so strong with no obvious protien source is because the fruit and leaves provide the individual amino acids.  When we eat meat or other sources of protien they come as long chain amino acids that then have to be broken down to the individual ones so they can be used by the body which is one reason why fruit digests so much quicker than meat.  Eating this way is sort of cutting out the middle man 

KC should be staying with us, the local authority have asked us if we're prepared to have her long term and we've said we will so we're talking till she's 18 (yikes!).  All the other people involved in her care have recommended that we have her but it still has to go through a formal matching process - this is social services we're talking about, why do the quick and obvious thing when it you can have lots of meetings, discussions and put the proposal before a panel of people who've never met either me or kc   

If we were 'normal' foster carers her 'case' would be put with the matching team and they'd be moving her to new carers - no wonder these poor kids end up the way they do - anti social, unable to trust, angry etc.  They never know when they're going to be moved next so can't ever settle.  There was a great programme on BBC3 last week called 'Care Home Kids - Looking for Love'.  It's worth trying to find it on iplayer or youtube - I was in tears for some of it.  Some of the older kids were trying to explain how they felt about being moved about and how it affected them.  There are very few lucky ones like kc - most kids in care have poor education, loads end up homeless or on drugs/alcohol etc and lots commit suicide 

And on that happy note I'm going to bed - I'll look at the scrabble tomorrow.

Looked the program up on iplayer, but I don't think it is available anymore.

Probably a good thing, I know how upsetting it would be.  

Morning

I can't find it either on youtube.  Hope the talk goes ok SL but guess it will be a very tough day

Morning - shame about the programme, it'll probably be repeated at some time.

Just been chucking down here, hope the sun comes back later - at least kc would be able to scream and run round the garden if she needs to!

Running club planned for tonight, I've been so tired I don't know if I'll make it.  I had my jab yesterday so should feel livlier soon.

Hope everyone's having a good day today.

Morning everyone  

Think the drinking dream was stress related, had weird ones again last night, but nothing pub related that I remember.  Will be ok by the end of tomorrow I think!  Dietician visit will be done and I am having another chat with my boss about being in recovery; although I don't think he is going to say anything bad and just wants to know more about what's happening I'm still a bit nervous about it. 

I can beat you both, HTF and SL, I was 11st 5lb the last time I weighed myself.  No idea how much I've put on since then as I'm too scared to either weigh or measure at the moment!  Still, it will be on to positive things tomorrow and sorting my food issues out with the dietician is the next stage in my recovery

Going to be a tough day today with KC, SL   At least she is lucky enough to be with someone who really wants to help her, but that won't be any consolation to her when she's told she won't be going back to her mum.  Does she have visits with her brother or do they distress her too?  Really hope it goes ok and will be thinking of you.

 Am up to 9 x 5 seconds on my leg raises now   They seem to suddenly be coming along well, so am hoping that's a good sign!  With a it of luck I can start to increase the time from Monday so I'll be a bit closer to the target by the time I see the physio on Thursday. 

Good luck for the dietician tomorrow TST and great work with the leg raises   Hope you get some nice dreams tonight instead of the weird ones 

KC took the news as well as could be expected, she can't talk about her feelings and emotions so they come out in strange ways,  She had a bit of animal behaviour once she'd been told - she holds her hands infront of her face like paws and pants and licks or goes round on the floor in circles like a dog - all very weird.  Then she got hyper, started doing headstands on the sofa and managed to knock a  big glass globe of the table and break it.  I wasn't too cross about it breaking and told her it was only a 'thing' - it didn't matter but I was annoyed because she'd been messing around which caused it to break.  She got really angry and started hitting and punching the dogs, took a liitle while to calm her down but got there in the end.  

We got to running club even though she said she didn't want to go until she was eating her dinner!  I couldn't run - still too tired but should feel better in a couple of days.

KC's doing a 'pony day' tomorrow instead of pony club so she'll be at the stables from 10am - 2pm, I might sleep through it all 

Morning everyone

Up to 10 x 5 seconds today, although it was a struggle.  Will stick with that for a couple of days and then try and increase to 6 seconds.  With a bit of luck I could be up to 7 seconds by Thursday when I see the physio.

Sounds like things with KC were about what you expected SL.  Must be really awful for any kid to be told they are never going back to live with their mum again.  I guess at least she knows now though so hopefully be able to adjust and learn to cope with it.  Not really sure if that sounds right, I kinda know what I mean but not really how to say it   At least she went to athletics so she must be enjoying it.  What are you planning to do today, or are you just seeing how she goes.

Only an hour to go to my appointment.  Have had to type up my food diary as I've made such a mess of writing it!   Didn't sleep too well last night and do remember waking up at one point knowing I'd been dreaming that I'd been drinking, but not remembering anything about the dream.  I guess my brain is maybe taking me back to when I quit in order to remind me that if I could do that then I could deal with all the food issues. 

What's everyone else up to today?

Morning

Hope all goes ok with the Dietician today TST.

Ditto TST.  Sounds like the news went as expected SL.  Hope she enjoys her pony day

Morning - wasn't our Jessica good leaping over those hurdles   I really want her abs, what I'd give to have abs like that!

KC hardly slept last night poor little thing, woke up at 11, 12, and 3.30!  She's still gone to the pony day though so I'll get a bit of paperwork done  whilst watching the Olymics 

You CAN deal with the food issues TST, you're made of strong stuff.  Does your counsellor use CBT, it can really help some people by making you look at things in a completely new way.  Maybe I should try it for smoking...............

I've never really bothered with the flashy digital stuff on the tele before but I'm loving the 'red button' action getting to watch all the different sports when I fancy - just seen us win bronze in rowing now back to the athletics with Christine Ohurogu about to run 

Well am back from the dietician and am really pleased with the sesson   She was a lovely lady and was really helpful.  We went over my food diary and what is good is very good and what is bad is very bad   She was very understand about being in recovery and appreciates that it's partly a mental problem with my food issues so I have some booklets to work on with regard to that; one is to do with motivation and the other is an activity, mood and food diary which will help me recognise if there are triggers to my binging.  She was impressed with my food knowledge, which was nice, and I am going back in six weeks to see her again.  I know that going back to see her will help me keep on track too so I was pleased that she offered me another appointment.  So, I'm in the starters blocks at 11st 12lb, which is totally acurate as they were calibrated yesterday.  No weighing anywhere until I go back in six weeks. 

Jess was awesome in the hurdles, the lady is an inspiration   Think I have a little lady crush on her!

My alcohol counsellor doesn't use CBT as far as I know SL, it's more about trying to get the cause of the drinking although that's been like pulling teeth for the poor bloke!  Had another chat with my boss yesterday though and he's being really supportive, turns out he and his ex-wife when through the mill with their son with drink and drugs and his current partner's ex-husband died as he was an alcholoic.  He's really supportive of me doing sport in order to keep sober too, so hopefully there may be a bit more company sponsorship in the future if I've got an expensive race or something!  Hope KC is has a good time at her pony day and that she'll be sufficiently tired out to get a better night's sleep tonight. 

Good news TST - You'll do great with the food issues, it'll be interesting to see if you find any triggers you weren't aware of 

Two-Stroke Tart wrote (see)

 

Jess was awesome in the hurdles, the lady is an inspiration   Think I have a little lady crush on her!

 Hope KC is has a good time at her pony day and that she'll be sufficiently tired out to get a better night's sleep tonight. 

 

Lol at the lady crush - don't tell hubby 

As for KC sleeping - I'm despairing - she spent Monday bouncing and running round a park, Tuesday swimming for an hour, wednesday swimming for 2 hours, thursday hour and a half athletics and she's hardly slept all week - I don't suppose 4 hours at the stables wil make too much difference 

Lol at lady crush    Glad the appt went well, sounds a positive meeting with her

What is KC's sleeping like when she's not as active SL, any different?

Watching the ladies diving now, think I would win points for belly flopping

Hows the running going Cinders?  Fully expect you to rock up at Beachy.

I expect to see you there too Cinders - don't worry we haven't done any running yet either 

KC isn't much better when she's calm - she's scared of going to sleep so forces herself to stay awake but normally sleeps all night once she's dropped off.  Either that or she'll get to sleep quickly but wake up several times in the night   She's only just fallen asleep now - well I think she's dozed off but I'm not going in to see cos she'll act up if she's awake.