Giving up the booze

Can I?!!!

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02/08/2012 at 11:39

Morning everyone  

Think the drinking dream was stress related, had weird ones again last night, but nothing pub related that I remember.  Will be ok by the end of tomorrow I think!  Dietician visit will be done and I am having another chat with my boss about being in recovery; although I don't think he is going to say anything bad and just wants to know more about what's happening I'm still a bit nervous about it. 

I can beat you both, HTF and SL, I was 11st 5lb the last time I weighed myself.  No idea how much I've put on since then as I'm too scared to either weigh or measure at the moment!  Still, it will be on to positive things tomorrow and sorting my food issues out with the dietician is the next stage in my recovery

Going to be a tough day today with KC, SL   At least she is lucky enough to be with someone who really wants to help her, but that won't be any consolation to her when she's told she won't be going back to her mum.  Does she have visits with her brother or do they distress her too?  Really hope it goes ok and will be thinking of you.

 Am up to 9 x 5 seconds on my leg raises now   They seem to suddenly be coming along well, so am hoping that's a good sign!  With a it of luck I can start to increase the time from Monday so I'll be a bit closer to the target by the time I see the physio on Thursday. 

02/08/2012 at 21:50

Good luck for the dietician tomorrow TST and great work with the leg raises   Hope you get some nice dreams tonight instead of the weird ones 

KC took the news as well as could be expected, she can't talk about her feelings and emotions so they come out in strange ways,  She had a bit of animal behaviour once she'd been told - she holds her hands infront of her face like paws and pants and licks or goes round on the floor in circles like a dog - all very weird.  Then she got hyper, started doing headstands on the sofa and managed to knock a  big glass globe of the table and break it.  I wasn't too cross about it breaking and told her it was only a 'thing' - it didn't matter but I was annoyed because she'd been messing around which caused it to break.  She got really angry and started hitting and punching the dogs, took a liitle while to calm her down but got there in the end.  

We got to running club even though she said she didn't want to go until she was eating her dinner!  I couldn't run - still too tired but should feel better in a couple of days.

KC's doing a 'pony day' tomorrow instead of pony club so she'll be at the stables from 10am - 2pm, I might sleep through it all 

03/08/2012 at 09:49

Morning everyone

Up to 10 x 5 seconds today, although it was a struggle.  Will stick with that for a couple of days and then try and increase to 6 seconds.  With a bit of luck I could be up to 7 seconds by Thursday when I see the physio.

Sounds like things with KC were about what you expected SL.  Must be really awful for any kid to be told they are never going back to live with their mum again.  I guess at least she knows now though so hopefully be able to adjust and learn to cope with it.  Not really sure if that sounds right, I kinda know what I mean but not really how to say it   At least she went to athletics so she must be enjoying it.  What are you planning to do today, or are you just seeing how she goes.

Only an hour to go to my appointment.  Have had to type up my food diary as I've made such a mess of writing it!   Didn't sleep too well last night and do remember waking up at one point knowing I'd been dreaming that I'd been drinking, but not remembering anything about the dream.  I guess my brain is maybe taking me back to when I quit in order to remind me that if I could do that then I could deal with all the food issues. 

What's everyone else up to today?

03/08/2012 at 10:00


Hope all goes ok with the Dietician today TST.

Ditto TST.  Sounds like the news went as expected SL.  Hope she enjoys her pony day

03/08/2012 at 12:02

Morning - wasn't our Jessica good leaping over those hurdles   I really want her abs, what I'd give to have abs like that!

KC hardly slept last night poor little thing, woke up at 11, 12, and 3.30!  She's still gone to the pony day though so I'll get a bit of paperwork done  whilst watching the Olymics 

You CAN deal with the food issues TST, you're made of strong stuff.  Does your counsellor use CBT, it can really help some people by making you look at things in a completely new way.  Maybe I should try it for smoking...............

I've never really bothered with the flashy digital stuff on the tele before but I'm loving the 'red button' action getting to watch all the different sports when I fancy - just seen us win bronze in rowing now back to the athletics with Christine Ohurogu about to run 



03/08/2012 at 12:38

Well am back from the dietician and am really pleased with the sesson   She was a lovely lady and was really helpful.  We went over my food diary and what is good is very good and what is bad is very bad   She was very understand about being in recovery and appreciates that it's partly a mental problem with my food issues so I have some booklets to work on with regard to that; one is to do with motivation and the other is an activity, mood and food diary which will help me recognise if there are triggers to my binging.  She was impressed with my food knowledge, which was nice, and I am going back in six weeks to see her again.  I know that going back to see her will help me keep on track too so I was pleased that she offered me another appointment.  So, I'm in the starters blocks at 11st 12lb, which is totally acurate as they were calibrated yesterday.  No weighing anywhere until I go back in six weeks. 

Jess was awesome in the hurdles, the lady is an inspiration   Think I have a little lady crush on her!

My alcohol counsellor doesn't use CBT as far as I know SL, it's more about trying to get the cause of the drinking although that's been like pulling teeth for the poor bloke!  Had another chat with my boss yesterday though and he's being really supportive, turns out he and his ex-wife when through the mill with their son with drink and drugs and his current partner's ex-husband died as he was an alcholoic.  He's really supportive of me doing sport in order to keep sober too, so hopefully there may be a bit more company sponsorship in the future if I've got an expensive race or something!  Hope KC is has a good time at her pony day and that she'll be sufficiently tired out to get a better night's sleep tonight. 


03/08/2012 at 13:05

Good news TST - You'll do great with the food issues, it'll be interesting to see if you find any triggers you weren't aware of 

Two-Stroke Tart wrote (see)


Jess was awesome in the hurdles, the lady is an inspiration   Think I have a little lady crush on her!

 Hope KC is has a good time at her pony day and that she'll be sufficiently tired out to get a better night's sleep tonight. 


Lol at the lady crush - don't tell hubby 

As for KC sleeping - I'm despairing - she spent Monday bouncing and running round a park, Tuesday swimming for an hour, wednesday swimming for 2 hours, thursday hour and a half athletics and she's hardly slept all week - I don't suppose 4 hours at the stables wil make too much difference 

03/08/2012 at 15:09

Lol at lady crush    Glad the appt went well, sounds a positive meeting with her

What is KC's sleeping like when she's not as active SL, any different?

Watching the ladies diving now, think I would win points for belly flopping

03/08/2012 at 19:41


Hows the running going Cinders?  Fully expect you to rock up at Beachy.

03/08/2012 at 21:48

I expect to see you there too Cinders - don't worry we haven't done any running yet either 

KC isn't much better when she's calm - she's scared of going to sleep so forces herself to stay awake but normally sleeps all night once she's dropped off.  Either that or she'll get to sleep quickly but wake up several times in the night   She's only just fallen asleep now - well I think she's dozed off but I'm not going in to see cos she'll act up if she's awake.

03/08/2012 at 23:08

Ok, are we all still serious about starting Beachy?

What frightens her about going to sleep?  Can that be avoided?

04/08/2012 at 06:23

Morning Cinders

Dead serious about Beachy.  Unless one of your legs actually drops off, we full expect you to be on the start line.

04/08/2012 at 08:56




04/08/2012 at 10:06

Lots of walkers Cinders.  I run a bit, walk a lot, and munch on mars bars.  That has always been my strategy.

04/08/2012 at 10:25

Now that sounds more like it................a run/walking picnic lol

04/08/2012 at 14:51

HTF, surely you mean - run a bit, walk a lot, and munch on bananas

Cinders - shes been abused, that much we know but not the extent of it but from her behaviour it's probably quite extreme   She's hyper in the daytimes and can keep bad thoughts out of her head but they all creep back in the night 

Do you fancy a little 10k in Oxtend with ST a couple of weeks before Beachy - HTF & I have entered

04/08/2012 at 18:34

Poor kid

I sniggered at the name of that run

07/08/2012 at 11:03

Morning everyone   How was everyone's weekend?  We had a friend over on Saturday and it wasn't as good as I was expecting.  She is my oldest friend but now I'm not sure whether we just got on because we were pissed all the time.  I don't see her much as she works shifts and has other stuff going on so we just slot in when we can.  I don't know if I've changed since I stopped drinking, but she didn't seem like the same person anymore   In the end I couldn't wait for her to go home, which saddened me.  Apart from that I did a bit of gardening and two challenges in the Olympic Decathlon Challenge at the leisure centre: 500m row in 2:12 and 10k cycle in 17:15   Two down only eight more to go!

Food changes kicked in properly yesterday   At the moment I am just working on giving up crisps, chocolate, cake etc and not worrying about anything else.  The dietician said I was trying to change too much at once and I think she's right.  Have read through my motivation book and am working through my answers to the questions in there, which are more difficult than I had thought they would be.  Have to complete a Mood, Food and Exercise Diary every day too, which is helping.  Have done the food and exercise ones before but not one with mood in it and that is making me think a lot more about things. 

Is KC having any kind of counselling SL, to help deal with the abuse?  Poor little kid must be in turmoil inside. 

07/08/2012 at 12:24

Morning.  Still full of snuffles

Sorry to hear that your weekend didn't go as expected TST.  Does sound like things have changed between you two.  Could it be also that you don't see her often anymore?

Do you have to note down your mood each time you have a meal or something to eat? 

Hope you are ok SL, have seen on fb that you've been having migraines.


07/08/2012 at 14:25

for the snuffles Cinders and for SL for the migraines

I don't think it's to do with not seeing her so often as I've not seen her a few times a year since we moved here 11 years ago.  I think it maybe that you don't notice things so much when you're drunk or that they don't annoy you in the same way they do when you're sober.  Am kind of hoping that maybe we were both having an 'off' day and thinks will be back to normal next time I see her. 

Yes, the diary has a space for me to fill in every time I eat, although I don't think I am going to use it each time, just when I feel I have something to put whether that's positive or negative.  There's not exactly a lot of space for the mood bit, so I'm going to do my own version of it with more space for mood and less space for where I am and who I'm with as generally that's only home or work and on my own or with Mr TST!!


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