Giving up the booze

Can I?!!!

29,541 to 29,560 of 31,655 messages
06/10/2012 at 21:31

It's going good thanks sinbad, got 3 more weeks.  Although I'm not normally an early morning person I'm finding I'm enjoying getting up and out for exercise.

Are you taking your boat out or just staying on it moored up?

Not sure about your drained feeling, are you coming down with anything?  Are you sleeping ok?

06/10/2012 at 22:40

Evening all

Lovely to hear from you Apps - good to hear you're back on the smoothies-running-weight loss etc.groove.   Well done on the run, 2 miles is 2 more than I've run in about a month 

Sinad - that was a massive step you chose to make by going home instead of going to the pub - you should be feeling really proud of yourself.  There's been a rotten bug going round here which has made us all feel totally whacked out and exhausted - the others were poorly with it , I've been ok but totally drained/fatigued.  Maybe it's just a version  of that knd of bug.

Yeo - what's happened to the group scrabble game - it's disappeared, shall I start another one?

I've been down to Saltdean nr. Brighton to a mates today, we did a 'raw chocolate' workshop.  I'm not really into chocolate raw or conventional but I went to keep my friend company and just for a day out.  It was ok but I wasn't really impressed but them I'm the only woman I know who doesn't go all weak at the knees at the thought of a bar of chocolate!

My friend's got two boys ages 6 & 8 yrs and KC came too so after the choocy thing we all had lunch at my friend's then went for a walk and play on the beach which meant we came home with bits of crab claws in the car - phew stinky!  I must go for a run tomorrow,  I've got to make some effort - the race is next week for gawds sake!!!!!!!  I've just been so knackered this week - today was the first morning I've woken up and felt like I didnt' need to go back to sleep 

07/10/2012 at 08:37
Morning,

Hi Sunluvva - from a quick read back it seems like KC is still keeping you busy and I'm sure you'll continue to need the energy from your raw diet to keep things ticking over. You've all done an amazing job with her though - it would be so easy to admit that things can be too hard. So many people do and, without it being their fault, add to the displacement and attachment problems that a child experiences. I couldn't be more full of admiration. Were the crab claws stinking out the lovely new car or have you not got that yet?

sinbad - I second what the others have said about it being a victory to have a hot choc and go home, rather than submit to the pub and football. Those habits and associations are so hard to break. I was at football yesterday and it feels very different without a couple of beers before, a pie and pint at halftime and a couple after - I managed it again yesterday but it still feels unnatural.

yeo - work sounds like a real mixed bag for you right now - the cafe venture sounds like it could give a different feel to some of your work and I hope it comes good. I've seen quite a few attempts at setting up community cafes not quite work as it's really hard to strike the right balance between getting the people you want using it and making money. Your 'pair of Trowsers' comment made me chuckle - such a lovely place to run! You probably did see me in a pic at a TTC event - helping with their national community engagement programme has been a big part of my work for the last 6 months.

Right, got to get the housework finished so me and mrs apps can enjoy this beautiful day - sunny autumn days are my very favourite of the year but it's the shortest season so we need to maximise it. A little bit of outdoor activity is needed, followed by curling up with a film and some hot chocolate!

Have a good day everyone!
07/10/2012 at 09:27

Hi all,

Thanks for that about coffee shop etc. I know exactly what you mean Apparition. Although I don't normally go to the matches (too expensive) but a few beers then off home for fish and chips.

Cinders I only really stay on her moored up, she's my first boat, so I'm relearning boat maintanence fro scratch, and trusting the wrong people who offer to help. But this season, so far I have ripped out all the old deck, laid the new deck, I have some of the marine plywood for the beds and have nearly fitted the new cockpit (where you stand to sail the boat with the rudder) lockers. I have also half fitted the bilge pump, thats been sitting there for 6 months now when a so called friend would sort out the electrics and hasn't, hes been mates rates money and uses the weather and his own boat as an excuse. But I have said this inside the boat not outside. So I will have a try at it myself.

People some advice please. I gave myself a shock on my run this  morning, I used my new pedometre this morning, and I'm only doing 3.5KM in 53 minutes. The Manchester MoRun 10km is on 24th November, any advice on how to increase distance?

Glad to hear your enjoying boot camp Cinders

07/10/2012 at 11:06
Went out for a friends 40th last night, had a glass of champagne and a few bottles of beer, I think about 9 units in total. Had a decent sleep though and I'd already decided to have a rest today so should be fine for a run tomorrow. Quite pleased with myself that I didn't overdo it
07/10/2012 at 11:22

Hi AgentGinger,

Keep at it, and you will get there. Glad you are happy with what beer, Champagne you had.

07/10/2012 at 12:24

Afternoon all

Enjoy your day Apps and the hot choc and film.

Good luck with your boat sinbad.  We briefly had a Bayliner about 4 years ago but sadly the boat and a nine month old didn't really mix so we sold it!

Well done AG

SL, what is raw chocolate compared to normal chocolate? Mind is boggling over that one.  I do like a bit of choc but I like the Hotel Chocolat type so don't eat it very often!

 

Edited.  Should add we sold the boat, not little C

Edited: 07/10/2012 at 12:27
07/10/2012 at 12:49

Hi all,

LOL with Cinders.

Yeah I'm a bit puzzled with that one to. Chocalate that is.

07/10/2012 at 20:43

Lol Cinders, I'd love a boat but probably be too tempted to chuck hubby overboard

Raw chocoalte explained:- http://www.builtlean.com/2012/04/12/raw-chocolate/

Basically nothing is heated to the point of destroying nutrients, no dairy is used, only natural sugars like coconut palm sugar/agave/stevia etc.  Personally I think it's a load of old rubbish - it's still high fat and processed etc but I went as my friend didn't have anyone else to go with.  The ones we made tasted like bitter cocoa powder!  I'd rather have 1/4 of american hard gums myself 

Good news - I've done a 5 mile run this morning - more a ramble with faster bits at times but nice non the less.  I went through the woods and orchards, got lost on purpose to see where some footpaths I haven't explored went to and was practically bog snorking at one point - the ground in the woods was wet and mossy, lovely like running on a springy cushion then  suddenly it was a bog and I was trying no to lose my shoes!

Even Better News - Today was day 4 not smoking , doing it cold turkey and doing ok

Thanks Apps, kind words as always x  and yes, the new car stunk of stale crab claws 

Sounds like you're in control of how much you want to drink AG, it's so easy to let it take over once you've had a few.

Cinders, HTF, ST if you're lurking - it is next Sunday isn't it................

07/10/2012 at 21:31

*whispers............yes it is next Sunday*  Eeeeek.  Is ST running too?

Well done on the 5 miles though   Think I'll have to just amble round next week lol.

And also well done you, 4 days, keep it up SL, that's fab

08/10/2012 at 09:44

And another early morning 2 miles under my belt this morning.  Out before the cars and people so lovely and peaceful 

We'll be ok Cinders, my running speed is almost walking anyway!

 

08/10/2012 at 11:46

a good friend of mine, who has ran about 10-11 marathons, all around the 4hour mark +/- 5mins was taking the mickey out of me because i was so slooooow when we went out for a run together once. He's a big drinker (at least a couple of pints / cans every night) and smokes about 10 a day, and his marathon training consists of one 11-12 mile run per week. He mocked my first marathon effort of 5:08, and now we've both entered the Manchester Marathon next April, so my goal is to beat him. He's going to continue as he normally does with minimal training, but this is giving me the motivation I need to train my ass off over the next 6 months and take him on the finish line. it should help to keep my own drinking in check, but i'll be encouraging him to drink as much as he likes

08/10/2012 at 12:06

Hi all,

AgentGinger Wow talk about something of a competitive streak for you both.

The Manchester Marathon will be my first, so I think I will just let you  get on with it on the day .

Hi Sunluvva, I tend to wait till about 9am till I go for my run.

AengentGinger, I'm almost positive it will help you with the beer.

My own battle is Tuesday, I get paid (if you benefits can be called ) goes in to bank. So tempted to have a beer after buying food and paying bills etc. I get fed up with the news saying more welfare cuts, so thats why I'm  thinkiing oof getting drunk.

Since getting my degree I have tried so hard in getting back into work or voluntary work. But as soon as I mention I have pts and a bpd (caused by childhood trauma) no one wants to know.

I have returned to college just to do some maths and English and In January I will be going on a full  time course to help people like  me to get their health and safety certifcates and so on. After this I hope to go back (they said I wasn't ready first time) to Mental Health Matters. An organisation that helps mental health clients back into work or voluntary work. Then depending on money, I want to get my Cognitive Behaviour therapy chartership, this would mean I could work for myself or for an established company.

Is there anything else I can do at this stage that I can do to get back into work, as I really can't do much more at  this stage?

 

 

08/10/2012 at 12:45

sounds like you're doing all the right things Sinbad, good luck with your job hunting and training. One suggestion i'd have, it may apply to you or may not, but as a contractor I often find myself with a couple of weeks, or even longer (one period I had 2 months) between contracts, during which time I find myself drifting a bit. There are certain periods in the year when recruiters seem to down tools, and there's little you can do but religiously apply for contracts, contact agents and wait.

without a routine I go a bit off the ranch. I suffer from mild depression and routine is one of the things that definitely helps keep it at bay, so i've found through my own experience that even between jobs I go to bed and get up at the same time, as though i was going to work, and have a list of jobs to do throughout the day, helps keep me motivated and feels good to have achieved something. I plan exercise each day too, helps to keep the blood flowing and stave off the black dog.

each to their own, but works for me, and means when a contract comes along I'm ready to hit the ground running, and it feels less of a drag getting back into the swing of things.

08/10/2012 at 14:05

Hi all,

Thanks for that AgentGinger.

I have found over this past  year and since running again, that I have been wanting to domore. I will certainly take into account what you said aboutcontracts.

However, I have found that unnless you have the backing  of a mental health organisation, then employers tend to ignore you. But I won't give in. I will get back to work. Yet the disability I have means I find manual jobs very difficult, whether it be as a kitchen porter for Britania hotels, or as a casual factory worker for Kiplings, I didn't have the cordination for Kiplings and or speed, or the same for kitchen porter.

Thisis  why I chose psychology, with my own personal history of abuse, I have found that people are more open with me. And as a proffessional of the future would profer to see me than someone with just the qualifications. I just get so angry about benefit cuts.

30 years ago Thatcher and John Major did exactly the same things, and ripped the country apart. Who will they go to next once they demolished the welfare state?

If you have noticed a few months back it was all about the NHS. Its not that they have not given up with demolishing the NHS, its still happening, but pushed to the background, so that when the news comes back to the NHS the changes have already happened and nobody do anything about it.

Sorry, I know how they work. I won't say which party, but back when I was 18 and thatcher brought in Housing Associations, I knew the end of council homes was coming in, and homelessness increase, and people having to move about because of bad landlords, or they wait till they get a tennant and then increase the rent.

I'm sure that many of you will  disagree. But the failiure to put a mansion tax on the rich says it all. This is a far right conservative government, and will do the same damage and Thatcher and Major. I await for the nasty replies to this post.

08/10/2012 at 14:18

Hi all,

think this will be my last post in here I'm angry enough to post my abuse

I was 9 years old. I could hear my mother calling me from my bedroom, ring police she said no my dad called, I got to phone and thats I remember. But even then I knew he was trying to rape my mother.

I was 11 and I was nearly hit by a car outside my home, I was in shock, he came into my room and sat across me, and strangled me till i lost consciosness, my mother had to physically stop him.

He would become violent even from something on the news,  he would get me in the corner and, prod and poke me, trying to get me to fight him ( i knew if I did he would kill me) so I stood there and he would grasp me by my balls and penis but didn't hurt me.

I learnt that when he attacked me he would not rape my mother.

I was so scared my mother put a lock on my bbedroom.

I was so scared to respond to him from my room that when i did from the top if the stairs i saw him with a knifee  in his hand, my mother fighting to stop him from killing me.

At school I was classed as stupid because I couldn't walk orr talk properly, i would be attacked on the bus, or atagonised iin lecture rooms till hit back.

08/10/2012 at 14:30

continued,

I told school what was going on, I was sent to see an eduucational psychologist, they knew I had a disability no one told me. I was then sent to see a professor of psychiatry who said my dad was trying to kill me cause he loved me.

I knew then it was a question of survial, thats why my mum put me in the sea cadets, and why i have returned to the sea, she is a wreck of a boat, but the sea kept me alive as a kid. The sea keeps me alive now, as he even tried to sto me from going to the sea cadets.

The abuse didnt stop there, I gfailed to get into the navy but got into the army. During basic traing I couldn't run or keep up with any of the traineg they threw me oit, even though i wanted to keep trying.

Whilst in shower 5 or 6 recruits came in, they pinned me down, and blackenned my penis and balls.

I have never been able to cope in groups either since school, or the army.

The dialetical behaviour group has been the first group I have survived.

I'm even trying desparately in college with maths and enghlish even though I have a degree, to trry and find better ways of coping and survive hopefull evven though i may be in my 50's to cope in the workplace.

I haave even been attacked with a broken bottle working at tesco, because i dared complain about someone.

Why Have i posted all this? so that yyou may undertsand what all these so called economics cutbacks are doing to people like me. Yes some are scroungers but others keep trying even though it makes us ill trying.

By the way. I only found out that I had Dyspraxia when i got to uni. Since then I have passed exam that has been thrown at me.

AM I ABUSING THE SYSTEM?  YOU TELL ME

 

yeo
08/10/2012 at 19:38

Sinbad, please don't make that your last post.

When I read your first post of the day I was full of admiration for what you are doing to help yourself and your detirmination to help others. You are obviously doing as much as possible and it would be a terrible thing if your efforts were not recognised.

As for your political points about housing, NHS, the benefits system etc I found myself nodding in agreement with every word you said.  As you know I work with people with disbilities so I guess you know where I'm coming from. To hear Osborne sayng that working people should be 'angry' at those who can't work did make me angry - with him. Yes I know there are scroungers, but I hate it when everybody is tarred with the same brush.

I knew from hints you made already that there was serious trauma in your past and that your father had tried to kill you. To post what you did took a tremendous amount of courage, although you obviously needed to get it off youir chest.

To answer your question, no you are certainly not abusing the system, you are doing everything you can to help yourself As I said I'm very impressed with your guts and detirmination, and I am confident you will succeed.

Good luck tomorrow when you get paid, come on here and talk about how you feel about it if it helps.

08/10/2012 at 20:14

Thank you Yeo,

I get verbally abused by people in the pub the street, people even walk across the street to be away from me.

that's all I can type, please were not all scroungers no one is standing up and saying wow hang on a minute there's a group thats trying, there's not just me there's thousands like me that are so scared of how  they will be punished because they were to young to  stop there abuse and speak out. I guess thats one reason why I'm ranting now, as I think one of the regulars have said.

Yet every time we  try to stand up for themselves or others its  twisted around so much, and because of their difficulties they then clam up, and if anything go back in on themselves. Ruining months if not years of hard they may have put in for themselves. Sorry will let you get back to normal in room. Every day though I live with the stigma of yur worthless.

08/10/2012 at 20:36

sinbad, you are not worthless and I too have admiration for you being able to post what you did.

For me, the *scroungers* are the ones that don't want to help themselves.  The ones who have far too many kids and expect the rest to pay for everything.  That certainly isn't you so please stay.

Good plodding I see on fb SL 

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