Thought I was chatting to myself for a while there Cinder's ow er.
I very nearly went for a run about 06.30 but my mind decided against it. I'm off to get drunk.
11 days without a run. I'm starting to panic, the 10k run I'm doing in Blackpool is on the 31st August.
Enjoy the weekend all.
managing to run three times a week at the moment, two easy and one a bit faster. My 5k has come down to 28:5how already which is pleasing, and did 10.5k slow this morning which is the longest I've run.
Sinbad, hope you're ok and that you manage to get yourself out for a run soon.
Just got in from the run, thanks for mention.
I'm impressed at 28.5 minutes, and the 10.5k. Sounds like things are moving along in the right direction with your running.
I managed a 5k this morniing, at 48.40 mintues, a lot slower than some of your runs. But I'm now doing 4k in a time of under 10 minutes, and I managed to get up my hill without running.
I had a chat with my On Trak key worker, and cpn about the binge drinking. Its awful. Altough I only go out two three times a week, (depending on what emotional state I'm in). It's like the booze and (ow whats the word) DT's is best word for now) after three days after my last drink.. Thats when I state shaking feeling numb, its that, isolation and flash backs that what sends me back ino pub. Its now a question of finding a way past these self diagnosis.
Just watching St Trinians its funny, but still is not the best one?
I hope that people are having some success with the booze?
Hope all okay.
Question. After going for a run, doe's it speed up the sobering up stage? That for me is feeling punch drunk.
Just thought would pop my head in, see if anyone has posted.
All quiet on the western front then?
Hope all okay?
ok here thanks, hope you are too and that your key worker can help you find a way to get through the withdrawal/DT stage without heading back to the pub, and to get whatever medical help is needed to manage the withdrawal symptoms. Good luck and keep us posted. Watching St Trinians films sounds like a good way of distracting yourself in the meantime!
Hi Don Gato thanks for that. Withdrawl is a pain in the butt, but we all seem in here,wanting to keep trying.to cut down or stop booze.
I was out through the door at 06.30 hrs this morning, I just couldn't stay in and wait for the delivery of yet another tablet (the fourth), I knew I wouldn't get out through the door, as the delivery is betwwen 09.00 and 18.00.
But the time was a little better, 47.17 minutes, with a mile down to 13.27, when I started it was 15 minutes ow er.
I know some people are having a tough time at the mintute. But one and all the support is there for newbies, and regulars alike.
Hi everyone How are things? Mr TST is in the analysts meeting this morning, which he was really nervous about and they were late starting which won't have helped. This is the hard bit I think, once the questionnaire is all approved we just need to wait for the board decision. Hopefully he'll find out today when their next meeting is and when we'll get a final decision.
Can't help you with the withdrawal questions Sinbad as I didn't get them. Well, not from drink anyway! But with drugs, and currently caffeine/sugar, I've found the only way for me to deal with them is ride it out really. Which probably isn't much help, but you have to let your body rid itself of the toxins you've polluted it with and it's not going to like not having it's usual dose of booze. Well done on the run though Sinbad.
I managed mine yesterday - run 3, walk 3 x 4 - and felt like I wanted to throw up and lie down at the same time after the last run bit! Think I may need to slow down a little as I may be going too fast whilst building the run time. It probably doesn't help that I've lost so much fitness since the sprain in February and that I'm the fattest I've ever been. Still, I did it, so onwards and upwards!
I was lucky not to have any withdrawal symptoms this time, that's why I did the tapering off. Have you spoken to your key worker about them? From the little I've read, severe alcohol withdrawal can cause major problems so if you're getting bad symptoms then you should try to get the right help in place rather than toughing it out on your own. Well done on the run, hopefully you can make it a habit to go regularly and it will get easier with time. I'm trying to run on the same days every week so that it just becomes a habit.
Went for a run this evening and when I was 3k in, puffing away, a fit young bloke came up at the start of a run with two girls he was trying to impress. As they came past me he turned to them and said "our first kill". I wasn't having any of that and stepped on the gas, I was pretty pleased to stay ahead of them for the remaining 2k of my run given that they were about 15-20 years younger than me and a hell of a lot fitter, it did my ego a lot of good to hear him say to the girls "come on, we need to pass this guy" and then watch them fail to do it!
Don_gato well done with the run, you to TST, its always nice to get that run under your belt.
TST I really hope that the decision goes in your favour with work.
I hear you Don_gato, about having the right help in place, when trying to stop. The key worker has said what you both have said about the withdrwal symptons.
Having said that, I got drunk yesterday, but the plus side, I'm starting to realise when if I have that one last pint, I will be rolling over drunk, so thats a plus.
I been awake since about 3am. Not sure if thats the booze or not? Because I have always been a morning person, ever since my Sea Cadet days. We used to go to Holyhead for a couple of weeks, and I would get up about an hour before everyone else, and run along the breakwater to the lighthouse and backfor when everyone else was getting up, then do an hour pt with them before breakfast.
I went out, as my excuse is, I will be at my mums for 6 days from Thursday, and I won't drink at her home. I walked in one night drunk, and she was washing up saying that it was a flashback from my dad walking in shouting an d screaming saying house was not clean enough. So I just wont drink there.
Its another long post sorry.
I like the way you kept up with the younger ones Don_gato.
Ar well back to trying with my 4th tablet. It all works but I'm with talktalk, and its just not a strong enough signal for the wireless connection Growl. I'm on the broadband on my laptop with telephone connection to internet. I will change once the year contract is over.
Have a good day all.
I'm in Wetherspoons with my tablet, no beer. Its taken me an hour but I have got it working wo ho.
hope all ok
Just a quick post.
I'm back at home, didn't even have a pint.
Instead bought a pair of sports direct Nike running shoes (so they advertise).
As I didn't really sleep well with no tablets, I'm off to bed. Hopefully it will help me be up at the crack of dawn, for a 5k.
TST keep us upto date with the battle that you are both having please?
Hope all is okay?
Any news TST?
I start with a wo ho. I didn't get up for a run, I felt really tired. But they came to take the gas metre out, and I now hope this is the end of a 6 year battle with the gas companies.
I got myself wound up about it, and hadto fight not to get drunk before coming to my mothers. But I resisted, and when I got here, I got changed and went for a 5k run, a first for me, beer normally wins.
I got a time of 46.20, but I a PB for 1k of 7 mins 31seconds. That overall time was being stopped at traffic lights twice.
I hope it all goes well for TST family today to.
I hope trigger2 and SL are doing okay also.
Why don't I just sayeveryoneow er.That includes those that like to stay in the background.
Julia you ok. I only saw you about your blog, how's that going?
Well thats it now.
My mum every time I go keeps telling me how well Colin Smith is doing. How he's settled down with a girlfriend, and work.
He was one of most kids at school who bullied me. I have a piece of my ear that is curved, and they would flick my ear, until I would snap and it would take the teacher to drag me off whoever it was flicking my ears.
I couldn't speak properly and I needed weighted shoes in order to teach me to walk properly, and I went to a speach therapist from junior school to high school. They would lure me into their groups, and then push me out with being nasty to me. For instance, I played cricket with my one friend, outside of his house. Even though I just lived across the rd, he came and waked me with a stick right across the nose.
I couldn't go anywhere without being attacked, bullied or intimidated.
I shouted at my mum telling her how much he bullied me. She then had the cheek to tell me he didn't bully anymore, and that she didn't think my bullying was that bad at school.
A kid at school hanged himself because of the bullying. His mother approached my mum asking how I was doing, as she knew I was being bullied, so my mum knew exactly how bad it was at school for me.
Every time I go to see her, she brings Colin Smith up, one of the ringleaders, even though I asked her not to.
I do not know how to survive in groups, whether it be social or in the workplace or college. I'm the one that's pushed out everytime, so I have given up even trying.
Binge drinking is a form of Alcoholism, so I guess I'm an alcoholic. that's the only way I can survive.
I wish I had a girlfriend, but I dare not even try. Because no matter how much we would both try, they just wouldn't be able to cope.
Anyway that's enough now, I'm off to get drunk.
TST are you both okay?
Hi Sinbad, hope you're ok. Sounds like you've been through some tough times, hope you're feeling a bit better and that you manage to find a way to cope with it without drinking. I'm going to try to get out for a run this evening, I've had a bit of a lazy weekend.
Afternoon everyone Mr TST made it through his meeting ok. In fact they were very impressed with how much of the questionnaire we'd done and that Mr TST had a nicely printed out and bound copy of it to refer to in the meeting! His boss was brilliant, going in a suit and tie which made Mr TST feel that he was taking it seriously. They only made a few changes and Mr TST was congratulated on referring to his van as a 'site', which was one of my better brainwaves! We've found out today that the board meeting for the banding is 4 July, which is Mr TST's birthday! Hope that's good luck We won't find out straight away what the result is, but hopefully the HR guy will let us know as soon as he can what the result is.
Had a lovely lazy weekend this weekend, it's been months since we've had one where there hasn't been something to prepare do with Mr TST's banding so it we just chilled, watched tv and caught up on sleep.
Sorry to hear you've not been having a great time at your mums Sinbad, but really well done on getting out for your run. Stick with your On Trak and counselling and you will get there slowly; like everything, getting better takes time but you will get there in the end.
Hope you have a good run tonight DG. I'm out for a run also - run 7, walk 2 x 3. Going to be tough as it's a 2 minute jump on the run bit from Friday's run, but I'll get through it
Thanks for that TST DG.
I will never see my mum again. I sat down and worked out what has been happenning, and to be honest, she uses by me being bullied as a means off control.
I have dated it back to my mid twenties, using Collin Smith as a way of controlling me, and making me look pathetic screaming and shouting.
She has had two chances now since 2010 in not using my disability, and bullying as a means of controlling me, well no more, I warned her the last time. Enough is enough.
I'm hoping to get out for a run early Tuesday morning.
Booze wise. I'm back to drinking 3-4 times a week, and about 10 pints plus, and having southern comfort, and sambcas, this is how ill she has made me.
PTS was when she said to bring about a few hours of anger and drinking. BPD is where my drinking ands anger can go on for weeks, or months, sometimes a year.
TST sounds positive about your with the boss. Just try not to build yourselves up though, but hope it does go your way. I'm glad you both managed to get some time together.
Its official I'm back on the booze, but till Wednesday no money, but I will be having at least 8 pints as much as I can.
I tried desparetly to just now go for a run, but I only managed 50 meters. My mind just didn't want to know.
As far as I'm concerned my mother does not exist. She has had two chances thats it.
Three years ago when I finally got back in touch after no matter contact for 6 years, I warned her that any more attempts of trying to control me, that would be it, I would dissappear again. Sorry to say, but she has had het two chances,
I have tried so hard with her. I have even let go the comments she has made about my disability, even though she has read a book about it, and admitted her mistakes, she still rallied me.
She knows how to get my PTS going, and how to lead it onto BPD, and she still does it.
I just can't do it anymore. This can go on for months now, before I even begin to pull myself out of it again.
If your wondering what BPD is (Borderline Personality Disorder), Its where once something has triggered the PTS, for me prolonged abuse from 9-16 years. YOu have no way of dealing with that trauma, and if you have experienced it elsewhere, bullying at school etc. The only way you can cope is to switch off, until the trauma has subsided. Then you try to build yourself up, and try and put new better ways of coping. But for me home, school and army 6 weeks basic training (Black Balled), then kicked out. Has been touch much for me, no matter how hard I try, all I can manage is a few weeks moinths of stability.
Anyway hope your all okay?
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