The Tortoise and the hare

I've been working so hard these past months with my running. I didn't expect to be that speedy. Self disciplined to run 3 to 4 times a week and then I think I made a mistake. I went in for a 5 mile race and was not prepared mentally. Everyone started off so quick at the start that I felt I was being swept along to some degree. I was running for my club as well. Anyhow my time was not great, but was pleased that I completed it and would love to compete again at some stage, but the problem is that since the race I've actually felt really put off running. I intially started off running to help me gain more control over my ED and to have some fun with running, but felt that was lost on race day. In my head I am beating myself up so badly that I can't seem to rest. My focus and aim have all gone. I don't know what I am working towards. I don't want to be put off running and want to gain some more confidence but am I fighting a losing battle?. Has anyone else been put off running?. Did I set myself up for failure?. Was I just not good enough?.

Starting with the last question first, you were good enough to get round in one piece, so yes you're definitely good enough.  Second from last question: I don't see how you've failed, so I can't see how you set yourself up for failure, you've now got the experience from your race to work on mentally before your next race (if you choose to do one, you don't have to). Third question: sometimes after a bad run/race anyone can get demotivated, but using different strategies most people can get through it.  In terms of gaining confidence, I can only go by my own experience: I make sure I can do a distance on my own before entering for a race of the same distance, so I know I can get round and I have a reasonable idea of what sort of time to expect. 

How long ago was the race?  A lot of people get post race blues for the first few days after a race.  Personally I find all motivation to do anything including running goes after the race, almost as if I've used up my quota in one go.  Races don't suit everybody, and different size fields, average speed of the field, amounts of supporters etc can all make a difference to your race experience, so maybe try a few before you give up on them.

If you decide to do another race perhaps try to set more than one goal, ie.

Finish with no injuries, Finish in 55 min, Finish in 50 min, the idea is to be happy if you reach the lowest goal, pleased if you get the second and ecstatic if you get the third.  They don't have to be time based, they can change up to the point you start the race and even while you're racing if you want. 

I guess I didn't expect for them to start off so quickly. I felt swept away. This was the run for the harwich wix 5, it was last Sunday. I was aiming for under the hour. I also would of liked to have got my bronze standard, but was 15 minutes out. I left the race feeling quite deflated. I had been prepared physically for the race, but maybe not mentally. I tend to do a lot fo distance work but not much speed work. After I had done the nike 10k at wembley I felt great afterwards, but that was with 40,000 people and this was like 250 people. I did feel demotivated. I do put myself under a great deal of pressure and also I know from the ED that my fitness was not of the greatest levels. I'm currently having to see a nutritionst and Ive had to go for some bloods, ultrasound and x ray this week to check everything is ok. I can't see there would be any problems.

I guess I just need a bit of an emotional boost. At the Nike race, people didn't seem that bothered by times etc, just having fun, but it was different at this race. Everyone was brilliant and supportive, but concentrating so much on 'times'.

I nearly didn't go back to my running club last night, but glad I did, although it was hard. They are such a friendly crowd and so supportive and at the same time I wanted to my best for them and felt I let everyone down.

Maybe next time I will be better.

Races often start quicker than the slow ones would like, but you don't have to go with them.  I have seen experienced COACHES be caught out though, so you're not the only one.  Not sure what a bronze standard is??  It is hard if you're aiming for under an hour and don't get it, I had the same problem with my first 10k, but then I did know that it would be a big ask.  I think you may have some unrealistic goals if you were wrong about your target time by 15 minutes on a 5 mile race?

Bear in mind your club would rather you turned up to races and tried than not bother, and I suspect they know what you're capable of so they wouldn't be disappointed by your performance.  At a race with 40000 people it's impossible to worry about times because there's too many people in the way to actually race properly.

Personally I think you should concentrate on making sure you're healthy and then target larger races, so there are more people running at a similar speed to you so you don't get dragged off the start line.

The Tortoise and the hare, you don't believe that fairy story, do you?

lol..Always feel like a bit of a tortoise compared to the other runners in my running club.