Most serious? Most funny?
Well, where do I begin? I've been lucky so far that I haven't broken any bones yet (knock on wood, of course!), but in no particular order:
When I was 5 and my sister 4, we were fighting over a doll. She tore a leg off and bashed one of my front teeth out with it. I ran screaming and crying to my Mum, but she had visitors and couldn't do much. I went running back to my sister, and she bashed out my other front tooth. And she never got punished for it. When my teeth had grown back, I bit her so hard at the back of her neck that she bled.
I had the usual scars on my knees and elbows from falling off bikes, I just have a couple left now.
When I was 8, I dove head first into a swimming pool that was too shallow and hit my head at the bottom. Fortunately I only ended up with painful ribs.
My sister and I used to share a room. Once we got into an argument after lights out, and my sister threw a shoe across the room in the dark and hit me between the eyes. I was dripping with blood, but didn't need stitches. There is still a little scar. And I got my own room after that.
My brother was riding his bike, and I was on rollerskates, holding on to the back. He went quite fast, and then stopped dead. I sat down very hard, and I couldn't stand, sit, or lie down properly for ages, and I had to sit on a donut pillow at school
At school, I was hit on the head by a baseball being batted at full force. I had a headache afterward which I extended, thereby getting extra sickie time!
Now...don't get me started on balls!!! (Of the sporting variety!!)
We always joke that I have a "Ball Magnet" in my head! I literally cannot go to sporting events that involve balls (eg.... you dirty gits... football and rugby and so on) because I'll always get hit on the head resulting in near coma level injuries!
To such an extent that sevreral years ago MrGFB and I were in Old Trafford and a miskick by a certain Mr Beckham rebounded into the crowd and nearly knocked me unconcious! Seriously!!
A similar story to one on previous page, thankfully not so bad.............
Last RW social I attended I had a lovely evening, in fact a bit more lovely than I thought. When I got outside I realised that I was feeling a little wobbly, that's ok I thought I will be careful.
I was careful all the way across Blackfriars bridge, then I got to the underground station steps. I very carefully measured my first step............
...........missed it and managed to throw myself down the whole staircase, on the way I managed to cut my face on something and at the bottom landing on my face I fractured my cheekbone.
I had to ring Mr AJH before I got to him to warn him that he wasnt going to like what he was going to see. He was remarkably calm about it really.
My first ever injury was also facial, my mum lost control of the pram (so she says ) and I was thrown out cutting my lip badly. Luckily I was not good looking to start with.
Okay so this is not at all funny and was seriously awful at the time but I am sure I looked funny to those in my family who were kind enough to hide their grins from me at the time.
I fell when 6.5 months pregnant and shattered my wrist into a squillion pieces. Cos of enormous bump they decided not to operate and just go for plaster up to my shoulder instead (in the hope that things would stabilise if i couldn't move anything - didn't work but that's another story).
anyway there I was, very very fat and very pregnant with right arms in plaster up to elbow (at wierd angle ) long hair which I couldn't brush or put in a bobble and covered in a mad rash from head to toe (I am allergic to pregnancy) and of course NO DRUGS!!!!
The only funny thing was the look on the ortho surgeons face when he walked round the corner with my x-rays and saw my bump.
i remember a very serious moment
nephew, aged 6 at the time, had spent 10 weeks in isolation following a bone marrow transplant and was finally given the go ahead to leave his sterile environment and go into the courtyard
all he wanted to do was kick a ball about
how we laughed as grandma tripped on the ball while trying to playfully kick it to him, and fractured her wrist
and it was just down the corridor to casualty
Finished my finals in the rain in Scotland and in a fit of glee (maybe after a bottle of pretend champagne) ran down a hill with my crush of the moment - slipped and broke my elbow - much merriment as post-exams party drove me to casualty and casualty staff were asked whether the painkillers prescribed for me would interfere with my planned alcohol intake....
Don't you just love students?
The first car my Mum bought from new was a Metro. Very practical. She kept it for ages and then we kids became teenagers and students and started to drive.
I borrowed it one day (it's OK, it had plenty of fuel in it) and was taking my girlfriend to meet some mates. At one of those acute angled T junctions I set off for a gap in the traffic, except that the car in front didn't. One clanged bumper, but the other car was old and heavy and they couldn't see any damage. But what to do about the Metro? Arriving at my mates, we decide to nip over to Sheffield, buy a bumper, fit it, and thereby have a jolly good blokesy afternoon. To this day Mother doesn't know.
Sister managed to borrow the car on extended loan to take to Uni. Extended as in perpetuity. She pulled up at this hick little forecourt and got confused by the pump that said Unleaded/Diesel. Yup, she topped off the petrol tank with diesel. By crikey it didn't half smoke for a few hundred miles. She called me to ask for advice. Not liking my first answer, we agreed that she should drive it and burn out as much of this 2-stroke as possible, then fill it and dilute it away over a few tanks full. To this day Mother doesn't know.
A few years prior I was painting my Airfix models on the outdoor step, and spashed a bit of enamel paint on the concrete. The more I wiped, the more red the step became, so I painted the whole step. Mother knew.
When i was 13 years old i was out for a run with a friend who was much faster than i. I crossed a busy country road and was hit by a car at 60 mph. Broke left leg in 4 places, left a dead patch on my right leg (that i still cant feel anything on to this day), cracked my skull, broken ribs, severe laserations on back, face, arms all over really.
Took about 6 months to fully recover. Oddly enough i stopped running for a few years after that!
ps. the guys car was a right off. thankfully i went over the bonnet and not under otherwise id been fertilising the daisys right now.
Was in a car accident when I was 26 which is squillions of years ago now.
14 fractured ribs (flail chest)
fractured left humerus.
Fractured right scapula
4 fractures of the pelvis
Broken foot (where the accellerator pedal went through).
7 months in hospital. Surgeon said I only survived because I was fit, thanks to running!
Started running again this year but don't intend to test the fitness theory again!!!
this has GOT to be a thread for me
collar bone, falling out of bed, when I was ickle
L5 veterbra fractured, twice. once falling off a pony, and then again getting crushed under a tree by another horse
shoulder in three places, thrown off a horse, after getting back on after being thrown off once already
finger, requiring pinning in an op, dragged by a horse
rib - crushed by a horse
toes - countless breaks, trodden on by horses
jaw and teeth - head first over the handlebars of a bike, courtesy of a pot hole
I get the impression horses are dangerous beasts...
I needed this thread! Have laughed so loud the kids are now awake.
Not much to report injury wise here.
Broke 3 toes when pregnant by clipping the door frame, winter and flipflops dont work too well and no painkillers.
Tore a disk in my back when I sneezed, off work for 2 months.
When copying Kenny Everet "All in the best possible taste" I gave myself a black eye.
I think I'l snigger at the burning of forehead on radiator whilst putting on knickers for a few days yet!
Of course I've been stupid enough to break bits of me, but I don't like gore. The construction industry produces enough injuries and deaths, so when the wife wanted to watch Casualty I had to escape into the garage. An urgent handbrake to grease or something.
Which reminds me of the typical sort of garage escapade, when clearing old underseal off the bottom of the car. It's on blocks, so quite safe, and I'm lying on my babk under it, wearing goggles and a boiler suit. Only the goggles steam up easily, so periodically remove them for cleaning. That's when the grit falls off the car into my eye. And like a game of ping pong I react by leaning forwards only to head butt the car. Instantly recoil from that and crack into the concrete floor, and recoil to head the car again.
I think MG stands for Many Grazes.
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