Most serious? Most funny?
do i get a prize????????
Blacklisting from insurance companies. I will update the "secret database" on you tomorrow at work. who says we have no fun in the insurance world!
I was still laughing over the 'burned forehead from falling on the heated towel rail whilst putting knickers on in the bathroom', when I saw the one about trapping the dog's ear in the boot door; now I'm crying laughing.
My best are:
* My best friend, when I was three, and I were racing each other down our street, me on my tricycle and he on his go-cart. He (typical bloke!) cut me up and I had to turn into my drive at high speed. Tricycles don't turn well at fast speeds, and I went straight into the fence, which was one of those ones with sharp stones. Knocked myself out and had to have 15 stitches in my cheek.
* When I was about 9, my best friend and I were playing football and I got shouted in. It was my ball, so I picked it up, at the same time as he kicked it. Cue broken finger, although I only realised the next morning. I got all excited thinking I was going to have a cast, only for them to strap it to the next finger. Grrrr...
* Whilst swinging my sister around the kitchen as we were both attached to opposite ends of a scarf, she slipped and hit the fridge, knocking out three of her front teeth. They were baby teeth but weren't quite ready to fall out. We had the chips in the fridge paint until we got rid of the fridge. Hehe...
* I was walking along a path, aged about 5 or so (it was safe in those days), and 3 older boys came the other way holding a glass bottle of milk. They said they'd throw it at me, I said go ahead, so they did, and it smashed at my feet. I ran back towards my Nan's house, and realised there was milk in my Mr. Man shoes. Until I looked down and saw it was blood. Eek. And my sis wouldn't take off her sock for my Mum to wrap it round my foot, probably payback for the tooth incident
* When my Mum dropped me off at Brownies one night, I stepped out of the car and she drove over my foot. I screamed to her that she'd done it, so she reversed and drove over it again. Hehe...
* I fell off my mountain bike on one of my first rides up in the Lakes and dived head-first into a pile of rocks, scratches everywhere. I bought a helmet the very next day.
* And I've knocked myslef out playing squash. I've also parachuted into a field of sheep which was quite funny; I landed whilst screaming, 'Move sheep, move!'.
here's the list as far as I can remember:
nose - fell off my pogo stick at age 11!
left side ribs - ski accident
right side ribs - orienteering race, caught my foot in a bramble and fell down a 10ft drop.
left wrist - ice skating fall
left foot/ankle/metatarsals - 3 times, turned ankle once coming down a mountain in a race, and twice on tree roots while training in the woods.
right foot/ankle/metatarsals - twice, once put my foot in a hole in the dark, the second time falling off my bike.
(I have osteoporosis, so my bones break easily)
Just niticed this thread and though I'd add my list;
1996 - climbing accident
2003 - climbing accident
I don't climb any more .
One of my best is hitting a donkey in the midle of a road on my bike, whilst flying down a hill at great speed with no lights.
I saw my life flash before me, before ending up in a ditch.
I then pushed my bike to a friends house whose mother asked me if I had been drinking, to which I replied I was off down to the pub when I became a cropper.
Needless to say all my mates down the pub pissed themselves laughing.
I have also fallen down a flight of stairs whilst every so slightly pissed. I didn't feel a thing, my folks thought it was the dog!!. But instead found me in a puddle of wee, with a broken right arm in 3 places, Dislocated jaw, fractured & pushed in cheekbone after headbutting the oak door at the bottom of the stairs. Plus the woo woo took over half an hour to arrive. needless to say I looked very handsome for 6/8 weeks afterwards with one closed eye.
I also fell off a bike whilst aged 9 or so and had bits of gravel stuck to my chest. My kind mother then tried to scrub them out. From memory she then learned that I could swear!!
A cockerel also once took a chunk out of my left kneecap, but I had the last laugh by covering him with bread sauce the next day for lunch.
The last one i can remember from my youth is sawing to the bone my left thumb, you could see the white of the bone; whilst trying to cut logs. Now that hurt, but the local vet saved me a trip to the hospital, by sewing up my thumb for me. That won't happen today.
On holiday in Greece few years ago.
Went out clubbing & pulled a lovely young lady from Worcester towards the end the evening.
She accepted an invite back to my hotel room on the promise of a few more shots of sambucca & a night of serious BRT lovin.
Just getting down to business and I realise that my 'gents' protection devices were in my wash bag in the bathroom.
So I rush to the bathroom as quickly as my short little legs will carry me,hoping that she does drop off the boil,forgetting that earlier in the evening prior going out,I had shower and also being a bit lazy I had left a towel on the floor.
This bathroom had a smooth tiled floor & was still a bit wet.
Any how I push the door open,slip on the towel,door hits the door stop & starts to now to close.
As I slip backwards I managed to crack the back of head my on the edge of the now closing bathroom door.
I also hit my head on the tiled floor & cracked my elbow on the toilet.
Blood everywhere it was like a scene from Psycho.
To her credit said young lady made sure I got to Hospital.
I ended up in hospital with 5 stitches in the back of head and badly bruised elbow.
I missed a scuba diving trip the next day that I had already paid for.
2 days later she got the highlight of her holiday only in the safety of her hotel room
Well, where do I begin? I've been lucky so far that I haven't broken any bones yet (knock on wood, of course!), but in no particular order:
When I was 5 and my sister 4, we were fighting over a doll. She tore a leg off and bashed one of my front teeth out with it. I ran screaming and crying to my Mum, but she had visitors and couldn't do much. I went running back to my sister, and she bashed out my other front tooth. And she never got punished for it. When my teeth had grown back, I bit her so hard at the back of her neck that she bled.
I had the usual scars on my knees and elbows from falling off bikes, I just have a couple left now.
When I was 8, I dove head first into a swimming pool that was too shallow and hit my head at the bottom. Fortunately I only ended up with painful ribs.
My sister and I used to share a room. Once we got into an argument after lights out, and my sister threw a shoe across the room in the dark and hit me between the eyes. I was dripping with blood, but didn't need stitches. There is still a little scar. And I got my own room after that.
My brother was riding his bike, and I was on rollerskates, holding on to the back. He went quite fast, and then stopped dead. I sat down very hard, and I couldn't stand, sit, or lie down properly for ages, and I had to sit on a donut pillow at school
At school, I was hit on the head by a baseball being batted at full force. I had a headache afterward which I extended, thereby getting extra sickie time!
Now...don't get me started on balls!!! (Of the sporting variety!!)
We always joke that I have a "Ball Magnet" in my head! I literally cannot go to sporting events that involve balls (eg.... you dirty gits... football and rugby and so on) because I'll always get hit on the head resulting in near coma level injuries!
To such an extent that sevreral years ago MrGFB and I were in Old Trafford and a miskick by a certain Mr Beckham rebounded into the crowd and nearly knocked me unconcious! Seriously!!
A similar story to one on previous page, thankfully not so bad.............
Last RW social I attended I had a lovely evening, in fact a bit more lovely than I thought. When I got outside I realised that I was feeling a little wobbly, that's ok I thought I will be careful.
I was careful all the way across Blackfriars bridge, then I got to the underground station steps. I very carefully measured my first step............
...........missed it and managed to throw myself down the whole staircase, on the way I managed to cut my face on something and at the bottom landing on my face I fractured my cheekbone.
I had to ring Mr AJH before I got to him to warn him that he wasnt going to like what he was going to see. He was remarkably calm about it really.
My first ever injury was also facial, my mum lost control of the pram (so she says ) and I was thrown out cutting my lip badly. Luckily I was not good looking to start with.
Okay so this is not at all funny and was seriously awful at the time but I am sure I looked funny to those in my family who were kind enough to hide their grins from me at the time.
I fell when 6.5 months pregnant and shattered my wrist into a squillion pieces. Cos of enormous bump they decided not to operate and just go for plaster up to my shoulder instead (in the hope that things would stabilise if i couldn't move anything - didn't work but that's another story).
anyway there I was, very very fat and very pregnant with right arms in plaster up to elbow (at wierd angle ) long hair which I couldn't brush or put in a bobble and covered in a mad rash from head to toe (I am allergic to pregnancy) and of course NO DRUGS!!!!
The only funny thing was the look on the ortho surgeons face when he walked round the corner with my x-rays and saw my bump.
i remember a very serious moment
nephew, aged 6 at the time, had spent 10 weeks in isolation following a bone marrow transplant and was finally given the go ahead to leave his sterile environment and go into the courtyard
all he wanted to do was kick a ball about
how we laughed as grandma tripped on the ball while trying to playfully kick it to him, and fractured her wrist
and it was just down the corridor to casualty
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