Amy Whitehouse

Andreia wrote (see)

but her peers, family and friends around her who could of helped her should feel very guilty for not doing enough.

I tend to agree with that, however, I'm not sure that we know the extent to which those around her tried to help her and failed.  I'm sure that there were some who thought that any publicity was good publicity and who encouraged the situation for their own gains, but I am also sure that there are some who were very concerned for her and did all that they thought that they could.

At the end of the day she was a grown adult and couldn't be 'made' to do anything for her own good.  Those who tried have nothing to feel guilty for, but I am sure that they are all blaming themselves anyway.

i believe her mother told the press she "expected her daughter to die soon the way she is carrying one!"

Now, if you know this, instead of telling the press, shouldn't she been besides her daughters' side and encouraged her to stay longer at rehab? yes she might have been adult, but age is not an indication of maturity is it?

Andreia wrote (see)

...her peers, family and friends around her who could of helped her should feel very guilty for not doing enough.

but they tried to make her go to rehab.

she said no,no,no.

skotty wrote (see)

Andreia wrote (see)

...her peers, family and friends around her who could of helped her should feel very guilty for not doing enough.

but they tried to make her go to rehab.

she said no,no,no.

Naughty Skotty!

An addict will not be told and its ridiculous to try and lay any blame at the feet of anyone other than Amy Winehouse herself.

Anyone that has lived with and/or loved an addict will know that its not until they admit and want to solve their problem will anything actually change. It is sad for her family and friends but its not a shock.

Andreia wrote (see)

i believe her mother told the press she "expected her daughter to die soon the way she is carrying one!"

Now, if you know this, instead of telling the press, shouldn't she been besides her daughters' side and encouraged her to stay longer at rehab? yes she might have been adult, but age is not an indication of maturity is it?

Very hard to judge from the outside - I have never worked with drug addicts but speaking to people who have the common theme is the addiction means you just can't trust a word they say.   By all accounts I've read - admittedly not many - her family did what they could.  

Andreia wrote (see)

i believe her mother told the press she "expected her daughter to die soon the way she is carrying one!"

Now, if you know this, instead of telling the press, shouldn't she been besides her daughters' side and encouraged her to stay longer at rehab? yes she might have been adult, but age is not an indication of maturity is it?

That's desperately judgemental to the families of people with substance misuse issues.  No amount of help and support from anyone can make someone change if for whatever reasons their intrinsic motivation to change is not there.

I have spent hours with wives / husbands / boyfriends / girlfriends / parents of people with drug or alcohol problems who are at the absolute end of their tether, ahving tried everything in their power to help their loved ones...  I have seen old parents remortgage their family home to get someone into private rehab, I have seen parents spending all night out looking for their son or daughter who hasn't come home in days, I have seen girlfriends starting to use just to understand what their boyfriend was feeling that was more important than what they had together...  The desperation can't be understood unless you're in their shoes.

You know very little about AW's family, other than what's in the press, about the true desperation they have experienced.  I've had mum's and dad's say to me that they were convinced they would lose their son or daughter before their time.  It was always nothing other than an admission of their powerlessness over the situation and admitting to this feeling of "impending doom", never an expression of not caring.

I believe I'm not being judgemental, I'm speaking from experience.

I did have a family member totally dependent to drugs, and it teared the family part, half desperate to help, half didn't as she was "an adult" and could look after herself.

i wanted to help and i did, not in the most straight forward way, but we managed to get her clean, and now she is finally happy. i might know very little about Amy's family, all i know has been portrayed in the media, but that is what I'm talking about. I never proclaimed to have inside knowledge, i don't work for news of the world.

 there are ways to help addicts, not all want to be helped, believe. most are so vulnerable, so desperate to live in their own imaginary bubble they are happy to carry on all means necessary. but some do need support, need to know help is out there, to be shown another way to live. most addicts do not know how they got their, nor how to get out

Andreia wrote (see)

I believe I'm not being judgemental, I'm speaking from experience.

You speak from personal experience of her family??  No?  Well then you're being judgemental. 

And if you have personal experience of the chaos, anxiety, stress and helplessness someone with a substance misuse problem can bring to a family, then you should know better but to blame them and tell them they should feel guilty for not having "saved" her.

Andreia wrote (see)

i believe her mother told the press she "expected her daughter to die soon the way she is carrying one!"

Now, if you know this, instead of telling the press, shouldn't she been besides her daughters' side and encouraged her to stay longer at rehab? yes she might have been adult, but age is not an indication of maturity is it?

To be fair (to Mrs Winehouse and to Andreia), the press probably asked her "Do you think Amy will die soon the way she is carrying on?" and she may have replied anything other than "NO, sod off", and they would report it as if she had phoned them to tell them that.

In fact, even if she had told them to Sod Off............

If you believe all the shit you read in the newspapers and the celeb magazines, you will believe the worst of everyone.  No-one knows fully what went on in Amy's life or her family's.  Nor do we really need to.

You can't know what goes on between people in another family, who you've never even met.

To make such judgemental statements as "her peers, family and friends around her who could of helped her should feel very guilty for not doing enough" is self-serving crap.

You have no idea what Amy Winehouse's family, friends and peers have tried.

Repeating what you've read in a red-top as being some kind of "proof" that her mother didn't try to help her is as foolish as believing that what the paper printed is accurate in the first place.

(and incidentally, it should be "could have helped her")

 Miss Wilkie!

Actually, Mitch Winehouse has been VERY vocal in how much he has tried to helped Amy. I have heard him giving very lengthy interviews about Amy, her marriage and addiction. He DID try to help her but ultimately you can't make people with addictions get better unless you stand over them 24/7 and practically imprison them and hasn't one woman just been charged with just that? I heard on Radio 5 live about a mother who served time for imprisoning her addict daughter recently in an effort to get her clean.

I can't help but feel sorry for Mr and Mrs Winehouse. It's just not "the way of things" to bury your own children.

And I think it's a interesting indictment of our celebrity culture that the minute Ms Winehouse shuffles off, she instantly goes straight back into the charts.

That's nothing new LB - I remember Elvis going to number one when he died and Jon Lennon being at numbers 1-3 in the charts straight after his death.

I think the fact that people debate and rake over a life they know very little about is more of an indictment of that celebrity obsession.  

Badly Drawn Bloke wrote (see)

So have you cancelled your subscriptions to Heat/OK/Hello etc?

Never read Heat. Or OK. Read Hello in the hairdressers.

All shit.

Peculiar to allow the mortal remains to be disposed of before they know how she died.

Is she being buried or cremated?