and what are your qualifications...

i have several OWLS and NEWTS

PhilPub wrote (see)

When I've got nothing better to do I'm gonna further my studies with an MA followed by a DPhil.  Then I can have a sign on the door reading:

Dr Phil MA DPhil

LMAO! You plonker!

I have a bunch of O Grades and Highers - Scottish A level thingys but easier.

I notice no one is owning up to having a Jim'll fix it badge.

I have a 90 minute exam to do today in running exams. 

*yawn*

Some CSE and O levels, some A levels, HND and Graduate Dips in computing, BSAC Sports Diver, First Aid at work certificate, some software testing qualifications and a BTEC first certificate in sport from those lovely guys that organise the Great Runs.
Clean driving license thanks to a Driver Awareness Training course and a nice policeman letting me off with a ticking off after stopping me for going too fast with a car load of screaming family.

A degree in history and a certificate which says I've been up in a balloon 

I have access to the internet, a credit card and a printer. 

  Dr Ferret BEng MA MSc LLB FRCS etc etc

M...eldy wrote (see)

sarah the bookworm wrote (see)

Nuh huh, I saw Liverbird in a bookshop in Manchester!

Nahh .. that was Holgs

Easy mistake to make 

LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

How annoying is it that you can't use the quote function on an iPad?
You can pick em up but not put em down again.

I once grabbed Holgs's bollocks at the same time as covering his eyes so he couldn't see who it was.

This qualifies me to post on here because he guessed who it was without me saying a word. So I must have psychic powers to transmit my name

No, just rough hands.

qualifications to post on here? The ability to read mostly bollocks and to repy with equal amounts of sh*te.

Proper qualifications. Highest would be an MA, lowest would be the test certificate I got from the clinic after said encounter with Liverbird.

I'd just like to thank you all - the original and subsequent posters - on this thread for making me belly laugh after such a cack day in the office.

Ironholgs wrote (see)

M...eldy wrote (see)

sarah the bookworm wrote (see)

Nuh huh, I saw Liverbird in a bookshop in Manchester!

Nahh .. that was Holgs

Easy mistake to make 

 

LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

How annoying is it that you can't use the quote function on an iPad?
You can pick em up but not put em down again.

I once grabbed Holgs's bollocks at the same time as covering his eyes so he couldn't see who it was.

This qualifies me to post on here because he guessed who it was without me saying a word. So I must have psychic powers to transmit my name

No, just rough hands.

I've grown my nails Holgs. You'd better wear a box next time!

Didn't you get the restraining order in the post?

Thanks.

FerrousFerret wrote (see)

I have access to the internet, a credit card and a printer. 

  Dr Ferret BEng MA MSc LLB FRCS etc etc

If I'd known I could have got a BEng using credit I would.....oh hang on...that's what student loans were for, Took longer than a few minutes online though

I have a few qualifications, I didn't hand my MPhil in, and I'm not an MA (Mincers Anonymous). Nothing remotely relevant to running. I also don't have any qualifications for looking after children, but find myself responsible for two of the beggars!

I ate 24 dinners in a hall for my professional qualification. No weeing or smoking (it was a while ago) until second grace said after pudding. The trick was to sit with the teetotal malaysian and singapore students and have all the wine and port to yourself, and then stumble out with your mates who had done the same thing. There were some exams in law involved at some stage, but there was no qualification without  those dinners. Suited me fine.