Are you attracted to certain characters/personality traits

(in the general population)

21 to 34 of 34 messages
seren nos    pirate
24/02/2012 at 15:14

probably its a good thing that we haven't met in real life.......i think you would find I'm one of those people that talks way way too much.......
about nothing very interesting.....

a bit like my posts on here really..........
not sure about characteristics drawing me........i think my main trait desires are reserved for a partner..........
24/02/2012 at 15:26

I'm not great in crowds of people partly because I'm really quite shy but also because I have impaired hearing in my right ear so find crowded places very difficult in terms of pinpointing one voice.  What I can't stand is people who talk about themselves constantly and insist on telling me how fabulous they/they're family are.  I'm also not awafully keen on very brash or arrogant people and my biggest turn off is someone who stands too close to me and talks right in my face.  I'm not really a people person per se, although I work with people in quite an indepth way on a daily basis. 

I tend to gravitate more towards people with a quiet confidence, who enjoy talking and listening and who are quite laid back and relaxed.  Funnily enough I did one of those colour chart things at a team building day last year and came out mostly blue, with a strong hint of green and splash of yellow, which described someone very measured, precise, a listener and nurturing.  This pretty much describes me to a tee, but the most surprising thing was that the girls I got on best with in the team were in almost the exact same spot on the colour grid as me.   

All that said, I do love people who can happily play the fool and maintain entertaining conversations in a group of people, but I've always found they tend to be very self deprocating and quite honest in their approach to people.

24/02/2012 at 16:44
Humour and humility are the most important things for me, but I also like intelligence as described by KK.  I also don't mind a bit of arrogance, as long as it's not the over riding trait.  I know I can be a little arrogant myself at times.
24/02/2012 at 16:51
I can't imagine you being arrogant BDB.  I know I've only met you once.  Maybe you're a Jekyll and Hyde-type character ...
24/02/2012 at 17:10
Honesty is very important to me.  If you can't tell the truth then don't say anything.  I'm quite happy for people to tell me that they don't want to talk about something rather than for them to feel that they have to make up a story to satisfy my curiosity.
24/02/2012 at 17:11

I think most people can be a little arrogant at times, or at least anyone who enjoys a debate.  As I said, as long it's not the top character trait, I think it's a good thing.

24/02/2012 at 17:23
Exageration is just bullshitting, which is worse than arrogance.  Most of the time I'm fairly modest, self depricating even.  The arrogant bit is when I'm either confident enough in the subject to not let the modesty get in the way or I'm feeling playful enough to ignore it completley.  I'll usually acknowledge the arrogane as soon as it's happened though.
24/02/2012 at 17:54


what period in history are you talking about, Greece,430-403BC now your talking intresting history.

24/02/2012 at 18:48

I hate people that blow their own trumpet, who never stop talking about thereselves without being asked. Typically where they always try to better what was last said. Saying that, I am a pretty impatient person, and at my age see things as very much black and white, and a rule follower. I won't hang around waiting on someone, I'll just go elsewhere. (God I am sounding miserable !)

I tend to form quick decisions on whether I like people from just a few minutes in their company, and am very rarely proved wrong (in my opinion) on what type of character they are. I do like happy people who don't seem to let anything get them down. I have recently started drinking on occasions with some older people who discuss all things music. Really do love their stories of the 60s and going to see all these bands that were just starting out, in little local halls. Fascinating stuff and we have a good laugh (I am a good listener really, if the content is interesting).

Love listening to older folk and their tales of growing up war time. Can listen in their company for hours - peopl with really interesting lives and a proper story to tell

Oh, and love sports and talk, although most of my mates are at the age where they no longer play, only drink, so the conversation content is waning.

25/02/2012 at 00:35
I've just found myself attracted to someone completely opposite to me but who turns out to be exactly like me. Yet the friends I thought I had, and had for a few years have revealed themselves to be self centred petty and most unforgivably - bloody damn boring. The motto for me is, be open be yourself but be conscious of how much u share. Don't put yourself in a position where people feel obliged to judge because they will.

A really good point one of my sport psych professors made was - forgive and remember! I'd like to add a maximum of twice, anymore and u r out!!

It really is not possible to be liked by everyone all the time and the real truth is it is not necessary. U only really need a handful of people to trust, u only need one person to love (u know, in the biblical sense) but the trick is to not set conditions on who that one is!!

Crikey no more red wine.
LIVERBIRD    pirate
25/02/2012 at 08:40

I tolerate lots of people. That said, I have started to tolerate fewer than I used to.

I don't know whether that's because the scales have fallen from my eyes or because I'm an increasingly grumpy cow.

Those I truly love know it. But I would have to say I have few real lifelong friends. And those who HAVE stayed the distance are like gold to me.

25/02/2012 at 11:18
I agree.
25/02/2012 at 13:34
I find it a really hard question to answer - so maybe the answer is no there aren't particular personality traits that attract - other than big norks of course.

I do quite like people that talk a lot though - that seems to put me in a minority - but so long as they aren't just giving it the big I am then it doesn't annoy me if I'm working with someone like that. People are interesting aren't they so someone telling you stuff even if it's just about what they've done, what they want to do, what they think - well that's interesting. That said I've worked in environments where the conversation was just so inane that it drove you mad - a mostly female workplace where all they talked about was catalogues and shagging and a male environment where it was just football - ffs all three have their place (well maybe not catalogue shopping) but there's more to life.

Probably easier to say what kind of traits that put me off people - being judgemental, people that are precious about things, people that are concerned about status and hierarchy, people that never put themselves out for others - basically selfish - people that are very unforgiving of others. I'm sure everyone would say those are traits that turn them off too though.
25/02/2012 at 13:52

I guess I'm attracted to anyone who is willing to spend some time with me, and who has shared interests.  As well as the honesty thing I mentioned earlier.

I have a wide range of good friends who all support me in different ways - most of which don't realise how much I value their friendship.  In return I try to be the best friend that I can to them when they need it.  There are some friends I would do almost anything for, but they are probably unaware of that as the situation hasn't come up.

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