(in the general population)
I'm not great in crowds of people partly because I'm really quite shy but also because I have impaired hearing in my right ear so find crowded places very difficult in terms of pinpointing one voice. What I can't stand is people who talk about themselves constantly and insist on telling me how fabulous they/they're family are. I'm also not awafully keen on very brash or arrogant people and my biggest turn off is someone who stands too close to me and talks right in my face. I'm not really a people person per se, although I work with people in quite an indepth way on a daily basis.
I tend to gravitate more towards people with a quiet confidence, who enjoy talking and listening and who are quite laid back and relaxed. Funnily enough I did one of those colour chart things at a team building day last year and came out mostly blue, with a strong hint of green and splash of yellow, which described someone very measured, precise, a listener and nurturing. This pretty much describes me to a tee, but the most surprising thing was that the girls I got on best with in the team were in almost the exact same spot on the colour grid as me.
All that said, I do love people who can happily play the fool and maintain entertaining conversations in a group of people, but I've always found they tend to be very self deprocating and quite honest in their approach to people.
This has got me thinking about my best friends, the ones that have stuck with me and vica versa for years. I think what attracts me mostly to people is intelligence and humour. By intelligence I don't necessarily mean academia, some of the most dull people I know have bits of paper coming out of their ears; but without being naff, just a general intelligence, a curiosity and passion for life.
My best mate who I love dearly has such a depth of character and wicked sense of humour.
In a crowd of strangers the people who make me feel relaxed are those that are confident and warm. When I'm at a party, I know that with a drink in me I will seek out the people that can cope with that and try not to piss everyone else off.
Doesn't always work
I do actually like people and am especially interested when people aren't perfect.
I find people putting themselves down a real turn off. I like honesty.
Badly Drawn Bloke wrote (see)
Humour and humility are the most important things for me, but I also like intelligence as described by KK. I also don't mind a bit of arrogance, as long as it's not the over riding trait. I know I can be a little arrogant myself at times.
I think most people can be a little arrogant at times, or at least anyone who enjoys a debate. As I said, as long it's not the top character trait, I think it's a good thing.
SuperCaz wrote (see)
Honesty is very important to me. If you can't tell the truth then don't say anything. I'm quite happy for people to tell me that they don't want to talk about something rather than for them to feel that they have to make up a story to satisfy my curiosity.
What is arrogance though? I have confidence and will say what I feel, but for me arrogance goes beyond that, to exaggerating your accomplishments??
Or believing you're right even when proved really wrong.
I'm not saying I'm not arrogant btw.
Don't know how people call it.
what period in history are you talking about, Greece,430-403BC now your talking intresting history.
I hate people that blow their own trumpet, who never stop talking about thereselves without being asked. Typically where they always try to better what was last said. Saying that, I am a pretty impatient person, and at my age see things as very much black and white, and a rule follower. I won't hang around waiting on someone, I'll just go elsewhere. (God I am sounding miserable !)
I tend to form quick decisions on whether I like people from just a few minutes in their company, and am very rarely proved wrong (in my opinion) on what type of character they are. I do like happy people who don't seem to let anything get them down. I have recently started drinking on occasions with some older people who discuss all things music. Really do love their stories of the 60s and going to see all these bands that were just starting out, in little local halls. Fascinating stuff and we have a good laugh (I am a good listener really, if the content is interesting).
Love listening to older folk and their tales of growing up war time. Can listen in their company for hours - peopl with really interesting lives and a proper story to tell
Oh, and love sports and talk, although most of my mates are at the age where they no longer play, only drink, so the conversation content is waning.
I tolerate lots of people. That said, I have started to tolerate fewer than I used to.
I don't know whether that's because the scales have fallen from my eyes or because I'm an increasingly grumpy cow.
Those I truly love know it. But I would have to say I have few real lifelong friends. And those who HAVE stayed the distance are like gold to me.
Things that put me off... hmm.. I think that people saying stuff just to manoeuvre themselves into a better social position, rather than just telling the truth. I guess in with that are people who are too conscious about what they think other people think.
I like it when people let their guard down.
I guess I'm attracted to anyone who is willing to spend some time with me, and who has shared interests. As well as the honesty thing I mentioned earlier.
I have a wide range of good friends who all support me in different ways - most of which don't realise how much I value their friendship. In return I try to be the best friend that I can to them when they need it. There are some friends I would do almost anything for, but they are probably unaware of that as the situation hasn't come up.
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