Being a nurse looking after people on an end stage cancer unit i know that death can be a very peaceful thing, given how far we have come with pain relief. I am like others on here, only afraid of dying in the sense that i would leave my son without a Father. But aside from him, i am not really afraid. I say this having tried to end my life twice (before my son even came on the scene), and therefore if it happens then it happens. The urges never leave you, but i have my son, so i keep them at bay. I do have survivor guilt though at my place, perhaps the feeling of not being pure enough in who i am, and when i see younger people than me at my unit die, it does get to you.
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