"Best" Cracker Jokes

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09/12/2011 at 10:54

Its our office Christmas party tonight, everyone is getting into the spirit of things by pulling crackers. So far the best one has been:

Q: What is brown and creeps around the kitchen at Christmas?

A: Mince pies 

(yes I know it is supposed to be "mince spies" but they misprinted it) 

So whats your favourite lame joke? From crackers or otherwise

09/12/2011 at 10:55
I think it's correct because they're saying the pies are 'mincing'
09/12/2011 at 11:03

How about:

Q: What's the best Christmas film?

A: There's Something About Mary

09/12/2011 at 11:05

King Wenceslas goes into Pizza Hut and orders his pizza.....

Deep pan, crisp and even

09/12/2011 at 11:13

Peter - I never thought of that interpretation!

I like both of the others ... the King Wenceslas joke was another one in the crackers this morning!  

09/12/2011 at 11:47

But mincing is hardly the same thing as creeping?

I think xine's interpretation is more likely the correct one.

What do you call a Reindeer with no eyes?

No idea!

09/12/2011 at 12:07

  

What do you call a dead reindeer with no eyes?

Still no idea! 

09/12/2011 at 12:10
(That was my cousin's favourite joke when he was 6 ... except he liked to change the punchline to "DAVE!" and then giggle like a maniac )
09/12/2011 at 12:17

What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?

Elk - a - seltzer!

09/12/2011 at 12:33

 

Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean?

Because snowman is an island

09/12/2011 at 12:57
Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
He's a fun guy to be with.
09/12/2011 at 12:59

What do you call a group of Professors on the Underground

 A tube of Smarties

09/12/2011 at 13:07
On which side do turkeys have the most feathers?

The outside.

09/12/2011 at 13:14

Brilliant

09/12/2011 at 13:15

How does an eskimo build his house?

Igloos it together.

09/12/2011 at 13:26

this made me laugh:

What's a specimen?
An Italian astronaut

09/12/2011 at 13:34
That did make me larf, KN! 
09/12/2011 at 13:43
Why is Santa's sack so full?

Because he only comes once a year!
09/12/2011 at 13:57

*groan*

What do you get if you swallow the Christmas decorations?

Tinsel-itis!

09/12/2011 at 13:59

Oh dear, found some pretty bad knock knock jokes....

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?

 
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business

 
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger

 
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful

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