Betraying the fat club!

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kittenkat    pirate
05/09/2013 at 18:21

An interesting little soundbite from Dawn French caught on one of the broadsheets this weekend.

She peaked at 19 stone and then lost a heap of weight (you did notice right?). I remember her being quoted as saying at the time, when asked about her huge (see what I did there?) weight loss, that she didn't feel right in her own skin...

Anyway, fast forward to now and she's apparently told an Australian magazine that with the weight loss she feels that she has let the 'fat club' down; so she deliberately went and put 3 stone back on.

So my question isn't about weight perse that's just the example here, I'm wondering to how much depth we have an affinity with how we perceive ourselves and place in society? And what we hang onto to strive to achieve that.

I think we all have 'something' that we are comfortable with, in a negative or positive way. And that becomes ingrained, so any drastic change to that shakes our psyche.

Losing a lot of weight would fit into this theory, because maybe people would then expect you to be a happier person because superficially you 'fit in' with what is seen as popular in a culture that generically tries to squeeze people into a physical 'Utopia'.

However actually...

Edited: 05/09/2013 at 18:26
05/09/2013 at 18:26

Most people who just diet put all all and maybe more back on inside 2 years so I suspect that will have a lot more to do with it .

kittenkat    pirate
05/09/2013 at 18:48
Leslie H wrote (see)

Most people who just diet put all all and maybe more back on inside 2 years so I suspect that will have a lot more to do with it .

I dunno, I think with Dawn (maybe) that she actually is a very positive role model for bigger women? She's always been sexy at whatever weight?

And yes, her own personal battle with weight might come into it, but I just get the feeling that there's something more cerebral/different going on?

I *think* what I'm trying to say is that she is genuinely trying to make a case for the fact that being bigger is ok, if you work it?

Which I agree with, but many people just get fat without being in any way successful. In which case they just spend their days lifting up folds of skin to perform normal bodily functions, and realise that they smell pretty bad.

That's about health and not weight, everyone irrespective of size can be attractive or unattractive. Healthy or not.

However, this isn't about weight. Give me any parallel circumstance and I'll apply my point to it.

Edited: 05/09/2013 at 18:49
05/09/2013 at 18:50

I had a friend who was not really overweight when I met her. In the years that I knew her she put on a lot of weight. She tried to diet but was never happy being on a diet. She then asked that as she was not unhappy, why was she trying to lose weight all the time. So she gave up on the diets and just ate what she felt like. 

My lil sis is similar, she has given up on diets. 

05/09/2013 at 19:18

I think your example is flawed, if not the actual thrust of your question.  so Dawn French put  three stone on to make other people feel better? I think it's more likely she was unable or unwilling to change her lifestyle.

nothing wrong with that of course, but to make out that you could if you wanted to , but  you've chosen not to so that other people dont feel bad, is stretching credulity.

it's like me necking three cans of Fosters and a large scotch and claiming i did it to make my alky neighbour feel comfortable rather than because i chose to And jolly well enjoyed it too.

kittenkat    pirate
05/09/2013 at 19:30
Mr Puffy wrote (see)

I think your example is flawed, if not the actual thrust of your question.  so Dawn French put  three stone on to make other people feel better? I think it's more likely she was unable or unwilling to change her lifestyle.

nothing wrong with that of course, but to make out that you could if you wanted to , but  you've chosen not to so that other people dont feel bad, is stretching credulity.

it's like me necking three cans of Fosters and a large scotch and claiming i did it to make my alky neighbour feel comfortable rather than because i chose to And jolly well enjoyed it too.

The difference between you and her (and Fosters is weak sauce as an aside) is that she is very much in the the public eye, and I actually agree with her committment to that. I dislike (when was the last time I used that word, school maybe?) the assumption that because she is fat, it has to be a personal issue of self loathing?

 

05/09/2013 at 19:38

I'm not sure she's being entirely honest. I think that what's actually going on is this:

After a lifetime of being very overweight Dawn French made the decision to lose some of it in middle age. When you do that at that time of life the results can be disappointing - you don't look svelte and trim you just look saggy, baggy and tired and worse than when you were carrying the extra weight - even though your health might improve.

Ergo she is happier with herself now she looks more like she's looked for most of her life (and when she was younger).

05/09/2013 at 19:41

Didn't she lose the weight after the break up with Lenny? Might that have something to do with it all?

kittenkat    pirate
05/09/2013 at 19:51
Screamapillar wrote (see)

I'm not sure she's being entirely honest. I think that what's actually going on is this:

After a lifetime of being very overweight Dawn French made the decision to lose some of it in middle age. When you do that at that time of life the results can be disappointing - you don't look svelte and trim you just look saggy, baggy and tired and worse than when you were carrying the extra weight - even though your health might improve.

Ergo she is happier with herself now she looks more like she's looked for most of her life (and when she was younger).

So, we're sort of on the same wavelength here. Dawn has always looked gorgeous (to my mind) as a big woman. However, she isn't the woman on the street and has money and marketing behind her.

Irrespective of weight (we're getting pulled into this), I'm asking how people define themselves. A good rule of thumb is how you introduce yourself to strangers... "Hello, I'm..." Most people introduce themself by job/career, even if they left that years ago. We're socially ingrained to be 'something'.

 

05/09/2013 at 20:00

Having been a fat person, and then about as skinny as I was ever healthily going to be, and now somewhere inbetween, I can sort of relate to KK's point.

As an obese person you form your character based on the fact that you are obese.  It becomes such a part of your life than when it is gone you can feel a bit lost.  Its no different to any other significant life change - being made redundant or separating from a long term partner for example.

Maybe Dawn feels that as a slimmer person she is outside her comfort zone and that she is happier being fat.  I think that this is often the real reason why people gain weight after losing several stone although I also agree that for some, being unable to change their habits is an issue too.

Some of us who have spent all their lives fighting the fat may have used our weight as an excuse for everything that is wrong with their lives.  Losing weight may not solve these other problems and therefore it is easier to put the weight back on than to fae up to the other problems.

Obesity is not just about eating too much you know.

05/09/2013 at 20:27

The thing about "obesity" is that it is not healthy. It crushes your organs and overworks the body. It is awful to see someone you love unable to cope with their weight. It is awful to see that they do not love themselves as much as you love them. There are of course valid medical reasons for some obesity and if friend or family then you may be aware of the reason. 

It is wrong to judge strangers but you will not be far out by attributing most obesity to poor diet choice and overeating.

05/09/2013 at 20:37

You can still love yourself and be obese.  The two aren't linked at all and skinny people don't necessarily love themselves either.

Yes, getting over weight is all about consuming more calories than you use, but the reasons for doing so are a lot more complicated than that.

I've consumed more calories that I have used today but it has nothing to do with not loving myself.  At the moment I probably love myself more than I ever have at any other time in my life and I have more respected for my body than ever before.  But like most people, I have other issues going on in my life that make me take my eye off my eating.  Once in a while isn't a problem, but if I was to eat like this for a couple of weeks or a month then I would put on a lot of weight. And that could easily happen in the right (or wrong) circumstances

05/09/2013 at 20:44

All accepted SuperCaz.

We are not debating skinny people and you are coping admirably!

05/09/2013 at 20:55

It's another form of political correctness. 

You mustn't act in any way that might offend someone struggling with their weight.

obviously there are many reasons behind obesity. The main one being people eat too much. Why, individually, they eat too much is the complex part. 

She's letting down a lot more people by saying it's ok to be fat. The medical evidence is against her. 

05/09/2013 at 20:56

I'm not coping at all, but thanks for the vote of confidence

05/09/2013 at 21:19
kittenkat wrote (see)
Mr Puffy wrote (see)

I think your example is flawed, if not the actual thrust of your question.  so Dawn French put  three stone on to make other people feel better? I think it's more likely she was unable or unwilling to change her lifestyle.

nothing wrong with that of course, but to make out that you could if you wanted to , but  you've chosen not to so that other people dont feel bad, is stretching credulity.

it's like me necking three cans of Fosters and a large scotch and claiming i did it to make my alky neighbour feel comfortable rather than because i chose to And jolly well enjoyed it too.

The difference between you and her (and Fosters is weak sauce as an aside) is that she is very much in the the public eye, and I actually agree with her committment to that. I dislike (when was the last time I used that word, school maybe?) the assumption that because she is fat, it has to be a personal issue of self loathing?

 

I didnt assume self loathing, why would you think that? And public eye or not, the point is the same, you dont put on thre stone in weight to please someone else.  It's not a big profound issue, I just think she's being dishonest is all.

05/09/2013 at 22:08

It's all a bit strange though. Wasn't she still quite overweight when she 'decided' to re-gain weight? I read something quite recently about the fact that people who have been fat in their youth still having that body image. I can understand that. I am now lighter than I have ever been in my adult years but have said in the last week or two 'oh yes look at me' in that 'oh I'm big' way. In my head I am large despite having a bmi now of 22.5.

06/09/2013 at 01:04

She didn't have the willpower to keep the weight off, maybe she isn't too bothered and chose to stop dieting but that's not quite the same as choosing to put weight on.   

For my money she looked a lot better without the weight but why should she care what I think.  

kittenkat    pirate
06/09/2013 at 06:53

See, I don't buy the 'no willpower' line, I think from what I know of a complete stranger who just happens to be on the telly, that she would come straight out with it if it was about willpower, rather than cite a different reason.

 

06/09/2013 at 07:37

I would suggest that the inability/unwillingness to recognise that it's a willpower issue is what prevents most people from losing weight. 

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