Betraying the fat club!

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05/09/2013 at 18:26

Most people who just diet put all all and maybe more back on inside 2 years so I suspect that will have a lot more to do with it .

05/09/2013 at 18:50

I had a friend who was not really overweight when I met her. In the years that I knew her she put on a lot of weight. She tried to diet but was never happy being on a diet. She then asked that as she was not unhappy, why was she trying to lose weight all the time. So she gave up on the diets and just ate what she felt like. 

My lil sis is similar, she has given up on diets. 

05/09/2013 at 19:18

I think your example is flawed, if not the actual thrust of your question.  so Dawn French put  three stone on to make other people feel better? I think it's more likely she was unable or unwilling to change her lifestyle.

nothing wrong with that of course, but to make out that you could if you wanted to , but  you've chosen not to so that other people dont feel bad, is stretching credulity.

it's like me necking three cans of Fosters and a large scotch and claiming i did it to make my alky neighbour feel comfortable rather than because i chose to And jolly well enjoyed it too.

05/09/2013 at 19:38

I'm not sure she's being entirely honest. I think that what's actually going on is this:

After a lifetime of being very overweight Dawn French made the decision to lose some of it in middle age. When you do that at that time of life the results can be disappointing - you don't look svelte and trim you just look saggy, baggy and tired and worse than when you were carrying the extra weight - even though your health might improve.

Ergo she is happier with herself now she looks more like she's looked for most of her life (and when she was younger).

05/09/2013 at 19:41

Didn't she lose the weight after the break up with Lenny? Might that have something to do with it all?

05/09/2013 at 20:00

Having been a fat person, and then about as skinny as I was ever healthily going to be, and now somewhere inbetween, I can sort of relate to KK's point.

As an obese person you form your character based on the fact that you are obese.  It becomes such a part of your life than when it is gone you can feel a bit lost.  Its no different to any other significant life change - being made redundant or separating from a long term partner for example.

Maybe Dawn feels that as a slimmer person she is outside her comfort zone and that she is happier being fat.  I think that this is often the real reason why people gain weight after losing several stone although I also agree that for some, being unable to change their habits is an issue too.

Some of us who have spent all their lives fighting the fat may have used our weight as an excuse for everything that is wrong with their lives.  Losing weight may not solve these other problems and therefore it is easier to put the weight back on than to fae up to the other problems.

Obesity is not just about eating too much you know.

05/09/2013 at 20:27

The thing about "obesity" is that it is not healthy. It crushes your organs and overworks the body. It is awful to see someone you love unable to cope with their weight. It is awful to see that they do not love themselves as much as you love them. There are of course valid medical reasons for some obesity and if friend or family then you may be aware of the reason. 

It is wrong to judge strangers but you will not be far out by attributing most obesity to poor diet choice and overeating.

05/09/2013 at 20:37

You can still love yourself and be obese.  The two aren't linked at all and skinny people don't necessarily love themselves either.

Yes, getting over weight is all about consuming more calories than you use, but the reasons for doing so are a lot more complicated than that.

I've consumed more calories that I have used today but it has nothing to do with not loving myself.  At the moment I probably love myself more than I ever have at any other time in my life and I have more respected for my body than ever before.  But like most people, I have other issues going on in my life that make me take my eye off my eating.  Once in a while isn't a problem, but if I was to eat like this for a couple of weeks or a month then I would put on a lot of weight. And that could easily happen in the right (or wrong) circumstances

05/09/2013 at 20:44

All accepted SuperCaz.

We are not debating skinny people and you are coping admirably!

05/09/2013 at 20:55

It's another form of political correctness. 

You mustn't act in any way that might offend someone struggling with their weight.

obviously there are many reasons behind obesity. The main one being people eat too much. Why, individually, they eat too much is the complex part. 

She's letting down a lot more people by saying it's ok to be fat. The medical evidence is against her. 

05/09/2013 at 20:56

I'm not coping at all, but thanks for the vote of confidence

05/09/2013 at 21:19
kittenkat wrote (see)
Mr Puffy wrote (see)

I think your example is flawed, if not the actual thrust of your question.  so Dawn French put  three stone on to make other people feel better? I think it's more likely she was unable or unwilling to change her lifestyle.

nothing wrong with that of course, but to make out that you could if you wanted to , but  you've chosen not to so that other people dont feel bad, is stretching credulity.

it's like me necking three cans of Fosters and a large scotch and claiming i did it to make my alky neighbour feel comfortable rather than because i chose to And jolly well enjoyed it too.

The difference between you and her (and Fosters is weak sauce as an aside) is that she is very much in the the public eye, and I actually agree with her committment to that. I dislike (when was the last time I used that word, school maybe?) the assumption that because she is fat, it has to be a personal issue of self loathing?


I didnt assume self loathing, why would you think that? And public eye or not, the point is the same, you dont put on thre stone in weight to please someone else.  It's not a big profound issue, I just think she's being dishonest is all.

05/09/2013 at 22:08

It's all a bit strange though. Wasn't she still quite overweight when she 'decided' to re-gain weight? I read something quite recently about the fact that people who have been fat in their youth still having that body image. I can understand that. I am now lighter than I have ever been in my adult years but have said in the last week or two 'oh yes look at me' in that 'oh I'm big' way. In my head I am large despite having a bmi now of 22.5.

06/09/2013 at 01:04

She didn't have the willpower to keep the weight off, maybe she isn't too bothered and chose to stop dieting but that's not quite the same as choosing to put weight on.   

For my money she looked a lot better without the weight but why should she care what I think.  

06/09/2013 at 07:37

I would suggest that the inability/unwillingness to recognise that it's a willpower issue is what prevents most people from losing weight. 

06/09/2013 at 09:59

I'm overweight. And I know I have serious psychological issues when it comes to food. I eat because I like the taste and I want more more more and some times don't stop even when I'm full just because I want more. If there is food in the cupboards, cakes in the office etc, I find it incredibly tough to resist. It's an addiction for me, I guess.

Couple that in with some body image issues which have led me to be a bit socially awkward, shy and lacking in self confidence, I've got a little personal experience in this area.

In my mind it is 100% about willpower, and compeltely agree with the comment from TimR. Failure to reconise it is one of the biggest problems.

I was watching the BBC2 documentary about weight loss clubs and there was a woman who has been paying money for 10 years and is the same weight as when she started. TEN YEARS. My immediate, somewhat cynical comment was "It's not working". She was a BIG lady. If she at 2-300 calories OVER her RDA she would have still lost weight.

People go to these things and think they will magically lose weight, then when they don't they are shocked and will come up with any excuse as to why they didn't. "Oh I had a glass or two of wine at the weekend" Yeah, and a kebab on the way home love? If you are sticking to the plan, a glass or two of wine is NOT going to prevent weight loss.

People lie to themselves about what they eat. I used to spend all my time self justifying. "Oh its just one biscuit" when in actual fact it might have been the whole packet. Then they lie even more to other people about it. The lie cycle becomes self fulfilling.

It takes brutal honesty, willpower, and eating less calories than you burn to lose weight. Simple.

Dieting is the most pointless task in the world and you will never be happy doing it unless you conciosuly WANT to lose weight and you make a life decision to go ahead and do it. Its the same as quitting any addiction - I kicked smoking just by deciding to, with no patches, gum or anything.

It's like going on a 10 mile race, getting to mile 5 and thinking "Oh I'm tired I don't think I can go anymore it hurts" and going back saying "Oh I tried but the course was much tougher than I thought and I was quite tired..." When the actual reason is, you didn't train enough for it.

I diet. I hate it. But I do it because I want to be heatlhier, I want to live longer, and I want to do things I couldn't do if I was bigger.

However, keeping this on topic, I USED to diet because of my body issues, I used to think people mocked me, I couldn't buy clothes that fit me and I couldn't go out and meet women because I felt I was far too ugly and fat to do so.

It's only when I switched my motivation that dieting made more sense. If you diet to feel good about yourself, guess what you do when you've lost weight or reach your goal. EAT MORE.

I am as a result of a motivational switch much better at controlling it and it's entirely about my willpower. I'm about 5 stone lighter than I was a few years back and feel great for it, with the body issues gradually going away as a nice side effect.

I really don't think Dawn French chose to gain weight. Unless she wanted an excuse to fill her face with cakes for a few months.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being big and happy whatsoever. If people are then fair play! I too also overeat on occassion, or I'll go to the pub and smash in 12 pints. But I can do it guilt free knowing that over the course of a few weeks it'll even itself out with days I end up under eating.

When i started writing this post it had a point. Now I've written it all, despite it being cathartic it may have gotten lost in my self therapy! So apologies for my rant

06/09/2013 at 13:57

You're right Matt. Talking helps. It's all good. 

It doesn't help when you go to the shop and they're pushing you to buy in bulk because you 'save' more. Nope. You just consume more. 

I only buy 4 cans of beer at a time. Not having it at home means you have to make a conscious decision to go out and buy it. 

06/09/2013 at 15:51

The trick is to eat only 2500 calories a day, maximum. (2000 if you're a lady). Then you won't be fat.

The calories are written on the wrappers, so you get clues about how much is going in.

It's a math thing.

And a common sense thing.


06/09/2013 at 16:00

Colin - I battle with my weight and it's not that easy, it's not black or white, there's a lot of grey around the reasons why people eat more than they need to. I used to convince myself that because I'd secretly munched on a Mars in the office toilets then that didn't count.  I admit it should be simple but unless you've been through it, it's hard to understand. 

06/09/2013 at 16:08

How many calories did you eat yesterday, marathon molly?

How did you split your allowance of 2000 between your breakfast, your lunch and your supper?

Give me your maths from yesterday.

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