Carlsberg don't do marathons...

But if they did....

1 to 20 of 21 messages
LIVERBIRD    pirate
10/05/2011 at 14:31

Just thought it might be fun to see if we can come up with a perfick marathon.

Mine would have a wicking T-shirt (that FITS) made by Prada, and a medal made by Tiffany.

A bottle of Stella and a bag of chips would await me at the finish line. I would have my medal handed to me by Gethin Jones in a loin cloth and it would be flat as a pancake, I would win (obviously) and there would be £1000 prize money and a damehood.

How about YOU?

10/05/2011 at 14:35
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

Just thought it might be fun to see if we can come up with a perfick marathon.

Mine would have a wicking T-shirt (that FITS) made by Prada, and a medal made by Tiffany.

A bottle of Stella and a bag of chips would await me at the finish line. I would have my medal handed to me by Gethin Jones in a loin cloth and it would be flat as a pancake, I would win (obviously) and there would be £1000 prize money and a damehood.

How about YOU?


i don't think Carlsberg would like that suggestion.
LIVERBIRD    pirate
10/05/2011 at 14:37

Good point!

Carlsberg can be in the goody bag. Stella's nicer and this is MY marathon remember?

10/05/2011 at 14:40

I think the option of a segway when you get tired would be nice.

Showers & massages on the course.

Being made to feel like a princess/first class athlete when you cross the finish line even if it's taken you 15 hours to complete.

10/05/2011 at 14:40

Post race full body massage by 'fit' scantily clad female.

And chauffeur driven home

10/05/2011 at 14:40
Well Carlsberg's not my preferred tipple but it's more than adequate for washing down a curry so as long as the post-race free nosh-up included ("probably") the best curry I've ever eaten, I'm sure we could wangle that into the sponsorship deal.  That would be after the post-race massage by Audrey Tautou, of course.
10/05/2011 at 14:41

Ewww not lager!!!!

Nice bottle of Rioja would be my preference in the goody bag...

As I haven't actually run a marathon yet, my starting aim for my perfect marathon would be one where I didn't get injured during the taper period and have to withdraw...

But if it really were perfect then of course I'd win, not you, LB!

10/05/2011 at 14:41
And a personalised, engraved medal that looks even more like a Jim'll Fix It badge than the old (Flora) London Marathon medal. That would be ace.
10/05/2011 at 14:44

Mine would have Paula Radcliffe as my pacer (we could have a nice chat on the way round). There would be enough undulations and one big hill  to make it interesting and it would go around a beautiful bay withthe tide almost full in.

The medal would be gold (solid!) but terribly terribly tasteful - a suitable reward for sailing  powerfully yet gracefully up every hill. My toes would remain un-banged and I'd be so well massaged and stretched afterwards that I'd be running again by the end of the week!

By the end my face would NOT be bright red nor would I be covered in sweaty bits, and I'd get to use every one of the Lush bath, shower, hair, massage and moisturising products in the goody bag ALL IN ONE SESSION! Oh, and the generous helpings of Green and Black chocolate and Bumbleberry smoothies.

Bring it on!

10/05/2011 at 14:44
Medal presented by a choice of Jake Gyllenhaal, Professor Brian Cox, Jarvis Cocker or Alexander Skarsgard, or all of them together.
10/05/2011 at 14:45

... and Orlando Bloom to personally remove the time chip from my running shoe..... after passing the finish line and running through the winner tape...

... and a shower cubicle to myself to freshen up a little before dinner accompanied by family who think I am the fastest runner and most admirable woman in the world...

10/05/2011 at 14:49
Nell McAndrew would be my pacer and the course would take in some of the best scenery in the UK.
10/05/2011 at 14:50
Alcohol would be the last thing on my mind, an ice cold diet coke would be my tipple of choice!
LIVERBIRD    pirate
10/05/2011 at 14:52
M.ister W wrote (see)
Nell McAndrew would be my pacer and the course would take in some of the best scenery in the UK.

Like you'd even NOTICE with Nell McAndrew's arse in front of you!
10/05/2011 at 15:11
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)
M.ister W wrote (see)
Nell McAndrew would be my pacer and the course would take in some of the best scenery in the UK.

Like you'd even NOTICE with Nell McAndrew's arse in front of you!
Maybe that's what he's talking about when he says "scenery"...
10/05/2011 at 15:18
The Grizzly stretched into marathon distance with Ewan McGregor available to scrub my back in the shower afterwards.
seren nos    pirate
10/05/2011 at 15:23

and a race photo where I look skinny and not red faces

and orlando bllom and jonny depp at the finish line to see to my every need

screw the medal

Lee the Pea    pirate
10/05/2011 at 15:28

Don't you mean you'd screw Orlando Bloom & Jonny Depp?

I'd like my perfect marathon to be at the coast, somewhere warm, preferably on a travellator.  Post race massage from a scantily clad Colin Eggelsfield would do me nicely. 

10/05/2011 at 15:33

The temperature would drop as soon as it starts and even though it's bright sunshine there would be a constant, cool, hazily light drizzle.

Running alongside me at my pace would be Einstein, Jesse Owens, David Lloyd-George, and a slightly younger Elle MacPherson.  The pace, though incredibly quick, would be conversational.

The medal would be pinned on to my lapel by the Queen.  Prince Philip would make a cracking comment about the various Kenyans and Ethiopians trailing in behind me.

The goody bag wouldn't have a voucher for soup in it.  It would have my other baggage accompanying it.  The helicopter home would have the masseuse, the curry and the champers.

10/05/2011 at 15:43
Cake wrote (see)
Parklife wrote (see)
The Grizzly stretched into marathon distance with Ewan McGregor available to scrub my back in the shower afterwards.

I would go for that other than the shared shower afterwards part. Just a nice pub and some nice food.

Parky you know there are quite a few off road marathons out there. Worth a thought chuck.

I did Beachy last year which was nearly as enjoyable as the Grizzly TBH, except you don't get the added extras like a good t-shirt; nice shakes and cakes, piper, music, buddhist shrine etc.
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