But if they did....
Just thought it might be fun to see if we can come up with a perfick marathon.
Mine would have a wicking T-shirt (that FITS) made by Prada, and a medal made by Tiffany.
A bottle of Stella and a bag of chips would await me at the finish line. I would have my medal handed to me by Gethin Jones in a loin cloth and it would be flat as a pancake, I would win (obviously) and there would be £1000 prize money and a damehood.
How about YOU?
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)
Just thought it might be fun to see if we can come up with a perfick marathon. Mine would have a wicking T-shirt (that FITS) made by Prada, and a medal made by Tiffany.A bottle of Stella and a bag of chips would await me at the finish line. I would have my medal handed to me by Gethin Jones in a loin cloth and it would be flat as a pancake, I would win (obviously) and there would be £1000 prize money and a damehood.How about YOU?
Carlsberg can be in the goody bag. Stella's nicer and this is MY marathon remember?
I think the option of a segway when you get tired would be nice.
Showers & massages on the course.
Being made to feel like a princess/first class athlete when you cross the finish line even if it's taken you 15 hours to complete.
Post race full body massage by 'fit' scantily clad female.
And chauffeur driven home
Ewww not lager!!!!
Nice bottle of Rioja would be my preference in the goody bag...
As I haven't actually run a marathon yet, my starting aim for my perfect marathon would be one where I didn't get injured during the taper period and have to withdraw...
But if it really were perfect then of course I'd win, not you, LB!
Mine would have Paula Radcliffe as my pacer (we could have a nice chat on the way round). There would be enough undulations and one big hill to make it interesting and it would go around a beautiful bay withthe tide almost full in.
The medal would be gold (solid!) but terribly terribly tasteful - a suitable reward for sailing powerfully yet gracefully up every hill. My toes would remain un-banged and I'd be so well massaged and stretched afterwards that I'd be running again by the end of the week!
By the end my face would NOT be bright red nor would I be covered in sweaty bits, and I'd get to use every one of the Lush bath, shower, hair, massage and moisturising products in the goody bag ALL IN ONE SESSION! Oh, and the generous helpings of Green and Black chocolate and Bumbleberry smoothies.
Bring it on!
... and Orlando Bloom to personally remove the time chip from my running shoe..... after passing the finish line and running through the winner tape...
... and a shower cubicle to myself to freshen up a little before dinner accompanied by family who think I am the fastest runner and most admirable woman in the world...
M.ister W wrote (see)
Nell McAndrew would be my pacer and the course would take in some of the best scenery in the UK.
M.ister W wrote (see)Nell McAndrew would be my pacer and the course would take in some of the best scenery in the UK.Like you'd even NOTICE with Nell McAndrew's arse in front of you!
and a race photo where I look skinny and not red faces
and orlando bllom and jonny depp at the finish line to see to my every need
screw the medal
Don't you mean you'd screw Orlando Bloom & Jonny Depp?
I'd like my perfect marathon to be at the coast, somewhere warm, preferably on a travellator. Post race massage from a scantily clad Colin Eggelsfield would do me nicely.
The temperature would drop as soon as it starts and even though it's bright sunshine there would be a constant, cool, hazily light drizzle.
Running alongside me at my pace would be Einstein, Jesse Owens, David Lloyd-George, and a slightly younger Elle MacPherson. The pace, though incredibly quick, would be conversational.
The medal would be pinned on to my lapel by the Queen. Prince Philip would make a cracking comment about the various Kenyans and Ethiopians trailing in behind me.
The goody bag wouldn't have a voucher for soup in it. It would have my other baggage accompanying it. The helicopter home would have the masseuse, the curry and the champers.
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