When I'm elected dictator, things will be dealt with
sarah the bookworm wrote (see)
People who go to the gym at peak time and proceed to spend 30 minutes walking on the treadmill whilst having a chat with the person next to them or playing on their iphone. They don't even break a sweat!
Agreed!
Also to add to the list - The Breaststroke Mafia. All factions, including the Blue Rinse Brigade and the Don't Get My Hair Wet Harpies.
...and particuarly the 'My perfume is so nice that I thought you would want to taste it in the water' mob.
Ah, I find that both the Harpies and the Blue Rinsers are usually doused in perfume/deoderant. Quite often with a face full of make-up too. And dangly earrings.
Have you two been swimming in my local pool?
*hides away dangling earrings, perfume, and covers hair with a scarf*
erm, no
*whistles*
I actually saw a woman complain to a lifeguard once that a swimmer had 'hit' her. He'd splashed her. She got wet. In a swimming pool. Shocking, I know!
I was very tempted to wait until she was in the splash zone and then do a belly flop
Ok, Sarah and Caz, are you ready, after 3
1..............
2................
3....................
"Just get your bloody heads in the water"
Think they heard us? Has to be worth a try.
People who SNIFF will be made to have a tampon up each nostril until they have learned to blow their noses.
The British summer will really exist and not just be a myth
What do you mean "a myth"? It was 20-27 May this year.
OK...as a season rather than a weekend
In this order:
Bad grammar, punctuation and spelling.Tattoos.Men who wear jewellery that isn't either a wedding ring or watch.
Tattoos, eh? I've spent the afternoon drawing up the design for my next bit of ink.
I know who to hide from , come the revolution!
Tikka wrote (see)
Men who wear jewellery that isn't either a wedding ring or watch.
Oh. Does that mean I'll have to take out the Prince Albert then?
Back on topic: when I'm dictator of the world the first thing I'll do is sack the useless tossers in charge of spam prevention on this site. Then shoot them. Those that survive will be shot again. And those that don't survive will also be shot again.
Muttley
