Crap at relationships

I'm really excited for you TP!

I was a bit concerned about how last weekend was going to pan out.  I can't remember whether I told you all about my interesting swimmer.  Nothing to report really which was why I probably didn't say anything.  Mutual attraction, but I wasn't ready for anything serious and his seperation was even fresher than mine.  The result was that we both had been arranging swimming events that we could both turn up to, but it was all a bit awkward, so when I found out I was moving I took the opportunity to make a break of it.  I figured that if there was anything there then he would make the effort to keep in touch and maybe something would happen in time, when we were both in better places.

Anyway... we had both entered the Brownsea Island swim and I knew that I would bump into him as the only way to the start line is on a small boat.  I wasn't looking forward to it as in the last week I had made the decision that I didn't want anything more to do with him.

But it was all ok.  We chatted and got on really well without any awkwardness and it became aparent that we were both more comfortable as friends.  To top it off, by the end of the day it became obvious that another one of my friends was interested in him and I suspect that something is going to blossom there.  I'm really pleased for both of them, and also that I have gained someone who I think will be a valuable friend.

I really am crap aren't I?  Even when the opportunity is there I can't take advantage of it, lol

All worked out fine then

I've heard of a job going down in the SW which is definitely of interest to me, and possibly a second although I don't think they're recruiting at the moment.  I'll make a call or 2 tomorrow and see if I can pop in for a chat when I'm down there late September.  I fear they may want somebody to start in Jan though, I wasn't planning on moving until March at the earliest but I we'll see.

Exciting job news TP.

Tickled Pink wrote (see)

I've said if I can't have a new house then I want a puppy. 

I had a chat with the boss today and he's happy to let me take VS as long as he can replace me with someone out of the re-deployment pool.  Fingers crossed.  There are a few 'displaced' people who's posts were deleted and who are waiting to be slotted back into posts.  If nothing is found for them within 6 months they will get VS, but many want to stay, so here's hoping. 

Caz where abouts are you living these days?

I spoke to the present postholder and have, on her advice, mailed off a cv to the Director who's recruiting.  Fingers crossed.

Trouble is that I am well known to a lot of these places through the national organisation that I work with and we're all members of.  I have a reputation within that as being a bit extrovert and quite opinionated.  Both fair points but it doesn't make me everyone's cup of tea.

Fingers crossed for a 'displaced person' Nam

Nam, I'm in Leicester.  I'm renting for a year and then will find somewhere to buy, once I know where I want to live and Hubby has released the money from the house.

TP, there are times when an extroverted, opinionated person is the right one for the job.  You can only have so many spineless wimps in one company before it becomes so inefficient that they need someone to kick them into shape.

I'm feeling even more crap than usual today.

Got my first pay cheque today!  Finally I'm independent and don't have to be accountable to anyone.  It's an amazing feeling.  Why didn't I do this before?

well the crap thread is quiet - is everyone loved up or too crap to post? my excuse is i strayed into the land of internet explorer which does not let me post. i did not know why until i finally went to rl and they said try firefox (where i used to be) and normal service resumed. too busy for all that malarkey with gamesmaking in the olympics and lots of watching of the paras (oh, and a bit of work) - all too much fun, and FB friends can see a picture or 2 including me bothering a nurse in her opening ceremony kit. may be some lass action on sunday so here goes.

Hi PS.  I've had a lot going on.  Friends with problems and problems of my own have kept me occupied.

We had our last mediation session today.  An agreement has been reached and we now need to get the solicitors involved to write up the contract.  Its been an emotional time but I think I am slowly getting closure.  So hard to write off half your life.  Can't pretend that it didn't happen but also need to be able to put it to rest.

Tough times caz. i am kind of avoiding all that bit at the moment. Saw a solicitor when i was out of action after surgery in may and finally sent a copy to the other half. We are living separatedly in our own places. The way things are going we will wait till february for the 2 years separation (apparently living in the same house with a settled intent counts as separation) and get a solicitor to draft something then with no need to allege unreasonable conduct. I know what you mean about writing off half your life. i still get down a lot even after a year in my new place - we were a couple for 20+ years and married for 13 - even though it was hopeless in a lot of ways i thought there was still love there, even if there was a funny way of showing it. My training is non existent - there was an excuse until mid-late june as i recovered from surgery but not much since then. getting out the door may help

I wish those that are going through a separation or trouble all the best. Reading this thread brought back some memories of my own.

I was dumped by my ex four years ago after 17 years together. I never saw it coming and it took me a long time to get my head in a good place again. I know what you mean when you say it feels like you've just written off a huge chunk of your life. During that period running was probably a bit of a saving grace for me. It was the routine of training and having races to aim for that stopped me spending every spare moment wallowing in self pity and misery.

I hope you all do better out of things than I have done. I've given up on having another relationship altogether these days. I took a year out completely from even thinking about dating/new relationships after splitting with my ex in order to try and straighten my head out, didn't want to be some sort of rebound guy and mess someone around. I then tried online dating for a couple of years, but got absolutely nowhere with it. If I had any sort of ego going into that by the end of it I had none. I just had to face facts I'm not what the single ladies are looking for and have adjusted to life on my own now.

It can be tough and raw particularly at first. I wish anyone going through that all the very best for the future.

I have been a bit extra crap recently. Strayed back into old territory with the boy I was "dating" briefly last year. Silly duck. Cue angst and desire for someone I can't have. Arse.

Hello folks, not been on here in aaaaaaaaages.  Not because i'm non-crap though!  

I've not even been trying to date; keep thinking about internet dating, but I don't really like it, and the couple of times i've tried it only confirmed to me that it isn't that representative of real life, so i'm not surprised you feel that way Eggy.  HOWEVER, thinking you're not what women want is maybe too OTT; not finding someone on-line doesn't mean you're not suitable for anyone.  Don't give up hope

Boo to angst though Ducky.  Easily done sometimes; hope you find the way back to 'new territory' soon

Nowt to report here really, just working and doing my massage course which i'm really enjoying.  Ooh i've even started training for the VLM!! Just as well i'm single as i've no time to spend with men anyway, lol

 Pea you londoning it then.

Yes!  If I can get there in one-uninjured-piece! 

 pint after then?

Major milestone reached today.  Collected the last load of stuff from my old house and said goodbye to Hubby.  We'll stay in contact, but I feel like I have taken a big step with regards to moving on.

Feeling really messed up right now, which is the first time I have felt any real emotion about leaving behind my marriage.  Up until now all the emotion has centred on the fear of my new lifestyle and the unknown, rather than what I am leaving behind

Oh dear caz. Not surprising though. I still get the grief creeping up and biting me on the bum in the midst of positive moments. I seem to be meeting a few people now. Went to a college reunion which started respectably in the house of commons dining room and ended up in a random soho bar at 3 am with a bunch of people I didn't know at college. Had an agreeable date with one of them a week later - not sure where that will go, but it was fun - she is abroad now for a bit. Someone I know through work, that I dated once or twice (+ snogs) wants to go out on Monday (always naughtier on a school night) Always friendly when we meet but she keeps a distance - she has a massive family and spends weekends with one or other cousin/nephew/sister. A couple of months ago I even drunkenly rejoined the internet site I was on earlier in the year and then have not really fancied getting involved - all too weird. Suddenly started chatting with a real lovely (well seems like it so far). A bit like buses.

Had a lot to drink last night, then a long lie in this morning, although I was awake early.  I find this a good time to think things through and get my life in perspective.  It was really productive this morning and I now feel so much better.  Actually I feel happier than I have for a long time.  Positively bouncing off the walls today.

Sounds great about meeting people PS.  I'm outgoing enough that I meet people without having to specifically use a dating site.  If there is someone else out there for me then they wll find me soon enough.  At the moment I am enjoying being where I am.

Glad to hear it Caz. I went on the dating site on a whim in the new year and enjoyed meeting a couple of new people, although it taught me I wasnt quite ready then - i tend to meet coppers and criminal lawyers at work - plenty are single but they are quite a niche crowd (why do you think they are single?) and it would be nice not to talk about work. Most of my other friends are well attached.

Oh I avoid anyone from work.  You have to be a control freak and extremely anal to do my line of work.  I don't want to be going down the pub with that sort of person.

But I find sport a great way of meeting people that I have a lot in common with.  I've proably got to know about 50 new people over the last year through swimming and triathlon.  If I am going to find anyone then it will be through sport