Crap at relationships

How do i get things sorted

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26/09/2010 at 20:15
BDB... You're gonna have to temper your lezbo fantasies!
Plum    pirate
26/09/2010 at 20:25

I am in my veeeeery late thirties

M...eldy    pirate
26/09/2010 at 20:25
Yeah ..... 1930's
Plum    pirate
26/09/2010 at 20:27
26/09/2010 at 20:29
Don Minquez wrote (see)
BDB... You're gonna have to temper your lezbo fantasies!
I'm just interested in how people go about lowering their carbon footprints.  Honest
smilies/angel_smiley.gif

26/09/2010 at 21:18

I didn't realise that KK was that EASY!!

RR Thanks did make me giggle

26/09/2010 at 21:27
We should have a Runner's World dating thread for all of us running singles.
27/09/2010 at 09:29

Morning

early 40s and single but not too worried as I know there some other things I need to sort before I am in teh right place for finding the right sort of bloke however not ruling out entertainment with not quite right blokes if they appear - but so far have turned down a couple of those this year so not even managing that at the moment

RICKSTER there have been singles threads before and they trot along nicely for a while maybe its time for a new one

Edited: 27/09/2010 at 09:31
27/09/2010 at 10:23

Everything has already been said so I'll just add my hug (((((slowfoot))))) and confirm that when the right person comes along you'll know and you wont want to spend as much time at work.

PS Be warned for hopefully when I finally meet you at the weekend, I am a hugger... just ask Cake.

27/09/2010 at 10:54

Knew there was something I meant to tell him.... LOL

Of course Bru knows silly, you don't think I could actually navigate myself around Edinburgh where we're meeting do you??? Now, please confirm that I'm not a freak in any way shape or form and that I'm a lovely huggery type person....

27/09/2010 at 10:55
Erm
27/09/2010 at 10:56
of course you are
27/09/2010 at 11:00

IronM.in    pirate
27/09/2010 at 11:10
I hate to say this, but all the above is B*ll*cks.

I'm 44, fit and apparently attractive. I own my own house and car and am outwardly solvent.

I have been single more than I have been a "couple". In fact, I actually cannot remember someone last asked me on a date or even intimated that they might fancy me.

I got divorced at 32 and was sure then that I would meet someone else. I have nothing against the marital state.

I have joined clubs, gyms, night classes, changed jobs, moved areas - all the things those so called self help books tell you to do.

(And no, none of this has been done with an air of desperation - more that I had lived abroad when married and had to rebuild my UK life).

I have a very wide and diverse circle of friends and a great family. I love my nieces and nephews and would lay down and die for those I care for. I am fiercly loyal and, again so I'm told, have a lot of love to give and am kind and generous.

In fact, it would appear that I am faultless.

But no-one loves me because they want to, not because they have to. No-one hugs me when I get home or asks after my day. I have been to therapy and had medication for depression. I spend more days than not with a puddle of tears at the bottom of my stomach - but you wouldn't know to look at it.

I have recently decided that the life of a partnership is clearly not what has been laid out for me - I don't know why, but sort of assume that as some point in the future it will become clear. If I did not love my family so much, I would feck off to somewhere like India or Nepal.

No-one who is in a relationship, even a casual one, can begin to understand how desolate life is when no-one actually wants to spend their weekend with you, plan romantic things, even a walk down the street. No-one touching you or caring.

So - if you are relatively young single, get used to it now. That business about them turning up when you're not looking is also b*ll*cks. If that was the case, the path to my door would have been worn out years ago.
27/09/2010 at 11:37

I think those feelings are more common than most of us believe Min - even those in relationships - though I can't really pretend to understand what it's like to be single as I've been in a relationship for 20something years.    Even if you say so yourself you do look attractive - well at least from what I can make out looking at your avatar on a small laptop    

Do you ask many men out yourself - some men just lack a bit of self confidence to ask a woman out - to be honest if I was suddenly single again it would frighten me to death as 25 years is a long time without practising something.    

27/09/2010 at 11:45
IronM.in(erva) ((((Hugs))))

I understand your pain, loneliness is a horrid feeling.

However, I do remain optimistic that at some stage I will find someone to share my life with (32...and have also been more single than a couple). I also think that I would rather be single than in the wrong relationship ... my last ltr was 3yrs long and about 2yrs too long!!

Stay strong.
27/09/2010 at 12:28

(((((((Min))))))) and big snogs to ya.  

Min is right, it is bloody tough especially when people tell you you're lovely etc.  I spend a lot of time on my own at the mo and sometimes need a cuddle and would love someone to take care of me and tell me everything will be alright.  But I've had that and lost it and sometimes think that I wont get it back, or if I even really want it again.

I've wonderful friends who are looking out for me so I embrace that.  If anything else happens at the moment, it's a bonus.

Don't be down though Slowfoot, things do happen and you can make them happen too.

Nam
27/09/2010 at 12:51

Aw Min. Made me really sad to read that and I remember feeling that way and it's crap!!!   

Bessie mate is a bit the same...  I think she's really pretty, she's clever (senior registrar dentist in a hozzie), she's funny, kind, lovely, she's interesting (has heaps of interests/hobbies), own house (very very lovely cottage), a bit quirky (owns a 6ft python), lovely family, not at all unhinged.... but she can't get a data with a nice man for love or money...   She's done the dating websites (where most men in their 40s wanted to meet women 20 years younger than themselves... what's that all about??), speed dating, singles dinner nights, singles activity weekends... but she says it all feels so contrived.    Likewise my my other bessie male mate has been single for coming up to 8 years now and he'd make someone a perfect boyfriend.  He's loyal, friendly, a great listener (counsellor!), has a really fab moral code and would never cheat on anyone...  again women just don't seem to be interested...

I think I was just really lucky that after years of wubbish, and just about to give up on relationships, I've met someone absolutely sterling, and I do count myself very very lucky for that and don't ever take it for granted.

Seems like everybody has a great best mate who's single.  We should get them all in a room together.

Edited: 27/09/2010 at 12:54
27/09/2010 at 12:55
So you have two mates who are single and would love to meet the perfect guy/girl.  One is male and one is female?
27/09/2010 at 13:05
(Seems like everybody has a great best mate who's single. We should get them all in a room together).

my single friend . com/co.uk...the problem with these sites is you have to market yourself not good for shy types and it all feels a little meat markety with so much pressure to "preform". Not really the way to relax and meet someone to care for.
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