Crap at relationships

How do i get things sorted

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28/09/2010 at 12:45

I don't think over-analysing relationships leads anywhere other than to a therapist's couch/divorce court myself.

I mean, look at Woody Allen - he married his own daughter!

Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 12:50
 Hahahahaha!  Poor BDB, he'll be worried now....
Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 13:04
I don't know what you mean oh Cakeous one
28/09/2010 at 13:08
*lurks for insight*
28/09/2010 at 13:11

Lol Cake - should I be worried?

Anyway, I'm not exactly eligible at the mo.  Skint guys aren't exactly snapped up, apart from by peeps who maybe allow themselves to be used and I'm too much of a gent for that.

28/09/2010 at 13:15

Go on Schmunks ... give us your insight

I am liking the idea of the NHS but .... if it's like most of the NHS there's no choice and gawd only knows what you'd end up having your 15 minute appointment with!  Think this is one instance where 'going private' is definitely the best option.

Interesting stuff on the lack of emotional response.  I think you need a bit of emotional fall in/fall out in a relationship.  I'd not want an all out war (that's my day job) but completely passive people do my head in ... oh, you decide ... do whatever you want .. I'm not bothered ... it's one step away from the teenage 'whatever' response.  I can do reasoned discussion without drama/crisis/flouncing ...although those are available on request

28/09/2010 at 13:19
Now Cake, I've never flounced off when you've appeared have I?
Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 13:34
Tickled Pink wrote (see)

Go on Schmunks ... give us your insight

I am liking the idea of the NHS but .... if it's like most of the NHS there's no choice and gawd only knows what you'd end up having your 15 minute appointment with!  Think this is one instance where 'going private' is definitely the best option.

You mean brothels?!

Don't worry BDB, you needn't fear me, i'm an angel really

I had ups & downs last year relationship wise, so i've given up on them and thought i'd concentrate on training and living my own life this year; don't have time to date anyway

28/09/2010 at 13:36

Hmm - interesting about the emotional flatline, I think as I've matured I tend to react less emotionally to stuff.  That doesn't mean I don't care, just that I choose what to take a stand on and let go things that aren't that important.

I'm interested in this mythogenic self thing Mike, heard the time a few years back (can't remember where) but never folowed it up.  Can you give us a quick prece?

Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 13:44

yeah but Bear, the thing is you do stand up for the things that are important; by 'flatlining' I was thinking of people who don't react much to anything, i.e. they'd rather stay quiet and keep the peace than ever disagree or respond emotionally. 

I'm a bit crap of letting go of things that aren't that important, but that could just be a bad girl trait

28/09/2010 at 13:52

Oooh, are you a *bad* girl, Lee?

tbh there I some things I struggle to let go of, even though I know thye're not worth the grief.

IronM.in    pirate
28/09/2010 at 14:04
Couple of things to add.

One, thanks for all the off line messages of support - what struck me is how many people who know me were surprised as they have me down as outgoing and confident etc etc, which just goes to show how we can put on a front.

Two, on a more serious note. Abandonment issues (Mike Frog I think). My Dad, like Woody Allen, also married my sister. Go figure, as our American friends would say.

And on a lighter note, I went to the docs last week for my repeat prescription of the pill and mentioned to him that I don't know why I take it. His response (and I have known him since I was a child), was that many celibate ladies take it to control their cycle. Up until that point, I hadn't even thought of myself as celibate!! But I am. He did, however, that in deference to sod's law, I stop taking it as I am bound to meet someone then....
28/09/2010 at 14:07
The One and Only XFR Bear wrote (see)

I'm interested in this mythogenic self thing Mike, heard the time a few years back (can't remember where) but never folowed it up.  Can you give us a quick prece?


To be honest, not really.

I've been training in it for about 10 years, and trying to summarise how it works in a few lines is just going to sound strange. The purpose is to get people to a point where they let go of that "pretending" to be something other than what they really are.

Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 14:08

I might be Bear....

Min, I bet your doc is right; come off the pill, and some lovely chap will appear!  Worth a try?!

28/09/2010 at 14:10
IronM.in(erva) wrote (see)
Abandonment issues (Mike Frog I think). My Dad, like Woody Allen, also married my sister. Go figure, as our American friends would say. . .

Hmmm
gingerfurball    pirate
28/09/2010 at 14:34

I wonder if the thing about people who are long term single is if people look at them and wonder what is the deal with them - eg: my sister is 46 and to my knowledge has had a relationship/boyfriend in her whole life.  Up to, I would say, this past year that suited her to the ground....very happily single and child free.

Now however she is desperate for a relationship - desperate for a child - but I wonder if prospective partners would look at her and wonder what is "wrong with her to have not had a relationship before (I'm not sure if I'm articulating this very well....

28/09/2010 at 14:57

You are Furry, except the word not is needed between has and had in the second line of your first paragraph.

gingerfurball    pirate
28/09/2010 at 15:06
   Ummmm- that is correct!! 
Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 15:16
Yeah I think there is something in that GFB!  I worry that guys will wonder why i've not had a long term bloke really, but then i'd probably think the same thing if I met a guy in the same situation!!! 
28/09/2010 at 15:24

Agreed, I'd be very wary of a 46 year old bloke who'd never had a g/f before ....  I'd wonder why ... that's a lot of life to have lived alone and it wouldn't be easy for her to change.  Do you think she just see's life on the other side of the fence with partner/family as a lot easier?

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