Crap at relationships

How do i get things sorted

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Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 15:28
Tickled Pink wrote (see)

Agreed, I'd be very wary of a 46 year old bloke who'd never had a g/f before ....  I'd wonder why ... that's a lot of life to have lived alone and it wouldn't be easy for her to change.  Do you think she just see's life on the other side of the fence with partner/family as a lot easier?


Isn't that the issue though; we shouldn't expect folk to change, or rather, that we can change people to fit into our lives?  I think to meet someone of that age that has been wholly independent for most of their life, well you'd have to be pretty independent yourself, and not looking for something that person cannot provide. 

Edit:  I don't think i'd be put off a 46 yr old man who'd not had many relationships UNLESS he'd lived with his mother for a large part of his life.  In that case i would run for the hills.....

Edited: 28/09/2010 at 15:36
28/09/2010 at 15:34

Probably not explained very well Pea, what I meant was that people who have lived alone a long time (and I will include myself in that) are often very independent and that's not always the easiest thing for others to get along with but I guess it depends on the people involved.

Change was probably the wrong word, let's go for adapt  

p.s. I am drafting a very long and dull HR document at the same time as pondering relationships so excuse me if I get confused and start on about flexible sh*gging patterns

Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 15:37

Ah okay, that's kind of what i was thinking too.  It would be hard to be with someone like that unless you were similar.  I think i've been on my own so long, I class myself in that category!

Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 15:38

Flexible shaggin?  I wouldn't mind a go at that

Actually, inflexible shaggin could be good too.  Where do I sign up?

Edited: 28/09/2010 at 15:40
28/09/2010 at 15:41
Not with any of my colleagues
28/09/2010 at 15:42
I am at the section on Maternity leave at the moment ... which is where sh*gging, flexible or otherwise, might get you.
Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 15:45

 On second thoughts.....

*crosses legs*

28/09/2010 at 15:47

How can your dad marry your sister?

Min - did we meet at Luton 07?

If so, I thought you were quite a classy lady tbh so your post was a bit surprising...

Took me 36 years to find the right one. Before that i was really quite passive when it came to "relationships" - i couldn't be bovvered tbh, plus not much confidence, and I was living on my own with dog when it all finally happened...

28/09/2010 at 15:51
Not the dog in the photo btw - he is an "Anonymous Dog" whose pic I got off the internet.


I thought I should make that clear in case anyone was wondering, which they wouldn't be, obviously.
gingerfurball    pirate
28/09/2010 at 15:53
Tickled Pink wrote (see)

  Do you think she just see's life on the other side of the fence with partner/family as a lot easier?

I honestly think that it has to do with the fact that I became a granny this year - (I'm one year younger than my sister and I've been married for 23 years and we have three nearly grown up children) we're a really close family and the grandbaby has made us really happy - my sister sees us quite a bit and she sees how we are together - I really think she thinks that she's missed her opportunity to have kids and a partner.

I also think it's more the baby thing that unsettles her more than a relationship.  Whole other thread I guess

28/09/2010 at 15:57

I wasn't a cat person when I was on my own - chances of getting spliced decline in inverse proportion to number of cats owned.

i think this is one of the first laws of relationships - infallible and provable empirically.

28/09/2010 at 16:04
Johnny Blaze wrote (see)

I wasn't a cat person when I was on my own - chances of getting spliced decline in inverse proportion to number of cats owned.

i think this is one of the first laws of relationships - infallible and provable empirically.


Cats "owned" ?

Cats are not owned. They may patronise one's establishment occasionally

Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 16:23
gingerfurball wrote (see)
Tickled Pink wrote (see)

  Do you think she just see's life on the other side of the fence with partner/family as a lot easier?

I honestly think that it has to do with the fact that I became a granny this year - (I'm one year younger than my sister and I've been married for 23 years and we have three nearly grown up children) we're a really close family and the grandbaby has made us really happy - my sister sees us quite a bit and she sees how we are together - I really think she thinks that she's missed her opportunity to have kids and a partner.

I also think it's more the baby thing that unsettles her more than a relationship.  Whole other thread I guess


Yeah that is a shame   The more i see all my friends getting married and having kids, the less it makes me worry about whether i've run out of time kids wise, which I guess is lucky.  I'm happy to have nieces and friends with kids.  One of my other single friends is the opposite; she's devastated she may never have kids, and that is such a shame, because it is affecting her entire happiness.  I'd like to get married though.  Just need to find someone mad enough!
Lee the Pea    pirate
28/09/2010 at 16:25
Johnny Blaze wrote (see)
Not the dog in the photo btw - he is an "Anonymous Dog" whose pic I got off the internet.


I thought I should make that clear in case anyone was wondering, which they wouldn't be, obviously.

Hahahahaha!!!

Nam
28/09/2010 at 16:51
MikeFrog Justgiving.com/MikeforCrisis wrote (see)
Johnny Blaze wrote (see)

I wasn't a cat person when I was on my own - chances of getting spliced decline in inverse proportion to number of cats owned.

i think this is one of the first laws of relationships - infallible and provable empirically.


Cats "owned" ?

Cats are not owned. They may patronise one's establishment occasionally


Cats don't have owners... they have staff! 
Nam
28/09/2010 at 16:55

I'm kind of chuckling at the term "emotional flatliners"...   I'm much more highly strung than my man, but then I could NEVER go out with a male equivalent of myself...! 

The marrying your sister thing totally threw me.  Am I missing something here?  Surely that's illegal?? 

28/09/2010 at 17:03
gingerfurball wrote (see)

I wonder if the thing about people who are long term single is if people look at them and wonder what is the deal with them - eg: my sister is 46 and to my knowledge has had a relationship/boyfriend in her whole life.  Up to, I would say, this past year that suited her to the ground....very happily single and child free.

Now however she is desperate for a relationship - desperate for a child - but I wonder if prospective partners would look at her and wonder what is "wrong with her to have not had a relationship before (I'm not sure if I'm articulating this very well....

I can see how that might work but I don't think most men would really worry about that - I could be wrong.   

I know a few people (apart from the guy who lacked confidence I mentioned earlier) who to my knowledge have never had a relationship - or not in the last decade or two anyway - I just assume they are either gay but not out or else they are just asexual .   Though one of them has just got married after meeting a woman at work last year - he's early 50s - never lacked confidence with women and would always joke with them in a flirty way just never seemed to get together with them until now.  

Him and another guy I'm thinking of are/were both really good cyclists putting in easily 300 miles a week and people always joke they are married to the bike.   

28/09/2010 at 17:11

I do know one thing - if being single is making you unhappy then you should try and change that - people "generally" like to be around positive people, innit, and if you behave more sunnily then you improve your chances of getting dirty rabbit sex.

Erm, I mean "of having a long term stable relationship".

28/09/2010 at 17:22
Look how happy I am  now JB ... you promised
28/09/2010 at 17:33

DRS on the NHS?

I'd buy that for a dollar!

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