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Meeting up with a blast from the past. Would you?

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02/04/2011 at 19:12

Got in contact with my first boyfriend on Facebook about 6 months ago.

Next Saturday we are going out for dinner. Time lapse between last meeting is 25 years.

So have you/would you meet up, or should the door on the past be firmly closed, or is leaving it ajar just more fun?



02/04/2011 at 19:14

Wouldn't meet up for dinner with an old ex (have to be old ex, I've been married 18 years), but I'd do coffee.

Recently "found" one of my bridesmaids on there though through my old college site, so like the ability to re-find old friends. We lost touch when she moved to Spain, then France, then back to the UK

02/04/2011 at 19:21

I don't see the harm in it if you're both unattached and going into this with no expectations.  However, if either of you are attached then I'd be thinking coffee rather than dinner.

I did much the same recently, meeting up with an ex who I'd not seen for 12 years. 

Funny the people who find you on FB, one of the girls who used to bully me on the school bus put in a friend request.  Having not seen her for 30 years I think I can happily live for the next 30 without her.

02/04/2011 at 19:22
Whats Facebook?
02/04/2011 at 19:27

Don't know. Depends what you're meeting up for. To catch up, possibly. From your post it's possible to read that you're expecting more than a chat about old times, maybe see if there's any heat in the embers. In which case I'd be in the "no way, Jose" brigade.

I suppose it might make a difference why you broke up at the time, whether it was circunstances rather than the relationship had run its course. But I think you'd be a fool to get your hopes up.

I did see a chap I made a right fool of myself over while at school, just in passing. He was gawjus then, but had really run to seed, and all I could think was "phew, what a lucky escape".

02/04/2011 at 19:31

Nothing wrong with it if you are both currently unattached. Indeed, there are studies which suggest that relationships between "first loves" who get back together later in life, are often successful.

However, if either of you is attached, I'd suggest not even coffee. Not even emailing. I am biased, because I talk to people where things have gone wrong, but I am amazed how high a proportion of marriage breakups now seem to start with "getting in contact with an ex" on facebook or email. It's a lose/lose scenario - you either don't hit it off this time, or you do. Just my opinion.

02/04/2011 at 19:34

We live a couple of hours away from each other, and I am heading down that way for a marathon. He is travelling about an hour in the car to meet up. Thought coffee would have been over a bit quick considering the effort he is making to get there. Dinner is on me. No expectations, apart from a good catch up and a laugh.

Helen - Hoping he doesn't think that it is me that has run to seed!
02/04/2011 at 19:44
ew, not coffee. Coffee snogs are horrid. Oh...
02/04/2011 at 20:00
FB is an ex of yours? Does Petal know?
02/04/2011 at 22:36

No great secret

1976 got dumped by my first great love

27 years later contacted that first great love via friends reunited

now been married for 6 years

02/04/2011 at 22:43

FB and KK?

OMG.

But what Mike said - I read something somewhere - probably on the internet so it Must Be True - that x% of breakups start on social networking.

Not sure about the % of new relationships.

Facebook is cited in 1 out of every 5 divorces in the United States, according to the Loyola University Health System. Furthermore, 81 percent of the country’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, according to a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). Last but not least, Facebook is the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence with 66 percent citing it as the primary source, the AAML said.

03/04/2011 at 08:18
hope to ...... wrote (see)
Got in contact with my first boyfriend on Facebook about 6 months ago. Next Saturday we are going out for dinner. Time lapse between last meeting is 25 years. So have you/would you meet up, or should the door on the past be firmly closed, or is leaving it ajar just more fun?

NO WAY!!!! All my exs are ex for very good reason.....
03/04/2011 at 08:19
My ex contacted me yesterday on facebook with a friend request, the same ex who after a year of living together told me she didn't really want to be with me but bought the house as a business opportunity, then asked me if I would invest in her brothers company. I'm married now and plan to stay that way so I ignored the request.
03/04/2011 at 08:28


Interesting replies, and I fully appreciate the arguments against meeting up. However, we were kids when we were dating. Spanning the precious years of 15 - 18 year olds. I am now 43!

The opportunity to meet up and discuss our school days, and what everyone is doing now is something I don't want to miss out on.

I have had three children. The chances of him looking at me as anything other than an old friend are remote. Anyway I am doing the Brighton Marathon the following morning, and I am sure I have read somewhere that sex then would effect my performance!!!!
03/04/2011 at 08:51

We were 16 when we were first an item...............................

27 years is a long time, We said we were only catching up on "old times".. yeah look where that ended up

03/04/2011 at 09:01
hope to ...... wrote (see)
 Anyway I am doing the Brighton Marathon the following morning, and I am sure I have read somewhere that sex then would effect my performance!!!!

LOL Ht....  Good luck with both encounters! 
seren nos    pirate
03/04/2011 at 13:54
hope to ...... wrote (see)
Interesting replies, and I fully appreciate the arguments against meeting up. However, we were kids when we were dating. Spanning the precious years of 15 - 18 year olds. I am now 43! The opportunity to meet up and discuss our school days, and what everyone is doing now is something I don't want to miss out on. I have had three children. The chances of him looking at me as anything other than an old friend are remote. Anyway I am doing the Brighton Marathon the following morning, and I am sure I have read somewhere that sex then would effect my performance!!!!


I'm 43 with 3 children and had a childhood sweetheart from 15-18 yrds old..............

if you are both single then no harm..........if you are in a relationship then beware.........your first love can bring up memories of a much more simplier part of your life when you were young and free and the world was yours for the taking.no responsibilities.............at this age you have so many other people needing part of you that it could be easy to think you want that younger you for a few minutes

03/04/2011 at 18:03
Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)

No great secret

1976 got dumped by my first great love

27 years later contacted that first great love via friends reunited

now been married for 6 years


I never knew that DTeS.  What a lovely story!
Bionic Ironwolf    pirate
03/04/2011 at 18:53
I wouldn't. Can't think of a single reason to, and as for catching up on what old school friends have been doing - if none of you have kept in touch for all those years why would you be interested now?
04/04/2011 at 08:33

I have to confess there is at least one ex I would be curious about meeting up with if the opportunity arose.  People change over the years so there is no reason to think that that it would ever be the same as it was is there? 

The others I would not be interested in seeing again can't explain the difference its just the way it is

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