Facebook

Wouldn't meet up for dinner with an old ex (have to be old ex, I've been married 18 years), but I'd do coffee.

Recently "found" one of my bridesmaids on there though through my old college site, so like the ability to re-find old friends. We lost touch when she moved to Spain, then France, then back to the UK

I don't see the harm in it if you're both unattached and going into this with no expectations.  However, if either of you are attached then I'd be thinking coffee rather than dinner.

I did much the same recently, meeting up with an ex who I'd not seen for 12 years. 

Funny the people who find you on FB, one of the girls who used to bully me on the school bus put in a friend request.  Having not seen her for 30 years I think I can happily live for the next 30 without her.

Don't know. Depends what you're meeting up for. To catch up, possibly. From your post it's possible to read that you're expecting more than a chat about old times, maybe see if there's any heat in the embers. In which case I'd be in the "no way, Jose" brigade.

I suppose it might make a difference why you broke up at the time, whether it was circunstances rather than the relationship had run its course. But I think you'd be a fool to get your hopes up.

I did see a chap I made a right fool of myself over while at school, just in passing. He was gawjus then, but had really run to seed, and all I could think was "phew, what a lucky escape".

Nothing wrong with it if you are both currently unattached. Indeed, there are studies which suggest that relationships between "first loves" who get back together later in life, are often successful.

However, if either of you is attached, I'd suggest not even coffee. Not even emailing. I am biased, because I talk to people where things have gone wrong, but I am amazed how high a proportion of marriage breakups now seem to start with "getting in contact with an ex" on facebook or email. It's a lose/lose scenario - you either don't hit it off this time, or you do. Just my opinion.

MikeFrog wrote (see)

However, if either of you is attached, I'd suggest not even coffee. Not even emailing. I am biased, because I talk to people where things have gone wrong, but I am amazed how high a proportion of marriage breakups now seem to start with "getting in contact with an ex" on facebook or email. It's a lose/lose scenario - you either don't hit it off this time, or you do. Just my opinion.

I'm with you on this one Mike, very much.

Ex- boyfriends have tried to catch up with me in various ways, FB being just one. I know, knowing my exes that it's not innocent.

I wouldn't like D meeting his ex wife for coffee, even though I trust him completely. And so therefore I wouldn't do that to him.

Plus I'm generally not curious at all about people that I've moved away from. Not at all.

So I'll echo the statement that if you're unattached, fine, otherwise, don't bother....

No great secret

1976 got dumped by my first great love

27 years later contacted that first great love via friends reunited

now been married for 6 years

FB and KK?

OMG.

But what Mike said - I read something somewhere - probably on the internet so it Must Be True - that x% of breakups start on social networking.

Not sure about the % of new relationships.

Facebook is cited in 1 out of every 5 divorces in the United States, according to the Loyola University Health System. Furthermore, 81 percent of the country’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, according to a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). Last but not least, Facebook is the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence with 66 percent citing it as the primary source, the AAML said.

hope to ...... wrote (see)

Got in contact with my first boyfriend on Facebook about 6 months ago. Next Saturday we are going out for dinner. Time lapse between last meeting is 25 years. So have you/would you meet up, or should the door on the past be firmly closed, or is leaving it ajar just more fun?

We were 16 when we were first an item...............................

27 years is a long time, We said we were only catching up on "old times".. yeah look where that ended up

hope to ...... wrote (see)

 Anyway I am doing the Brighton Marathon the following morning, and I am sure I have read somewhere that sex then would effect my performance!!!!

hope to ...... wrote (see)

Interesting replies, and I fully appreciate the arguments against meeting up. However, we were kids when we were dating. Spanning the precious years of 15 - 18 year olds. I am now 43! The opportunity to meet up and discuss our school days, and what everyone is doing now is something I don't want to miss out on. I have had three children. The chances of him looking at me as anything other than an old friend are remote. Anyway I am doing the Brighton Marathon the following morning, and I am sure I have read somewhere that sex then would effect my performance!!!!

I'm 43 with 3 children and had a childhood sweetheart from 15-18 yrds old..............

if you are both single then no harm..........if you are in a relationship then beware.........your first love can bring up memories of a much more simplier part of your life when you were young and free and the world was yours for the taking.no responsibilities.............at this age you have so many other people needing part of you that it could be easy to think you want that younger you for a few minutes

Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)

No great secret

1976 got dumped by my first great love

27 years later contacted that first great love via friends reunited

now been married for 6 years