Foot in mouth disease

'fess up! I'll share a howler if you'll share yours!

9 messages
06/09/2012 at 20:28
It's my birthday today. At lunchtime I'm sitting with my (new) colleagues having lunch. Someone says 'thanks for the cakes.' I reply, 'no problem, last birthday I'll be celebrating ... It's the big one next year.' She replies, 'oh no! The big 5-0!' 'Er no! 40!!!' Everyone else creases up laughing. I want to punch her! She digs an even deeper hole by saying that because she's 50'she just assumes everyone else is the same age as her etc etc. Great stuff - thanks & happy birthday me!
LIVERBIRD    pirate
06/09/2012 at 20:35

Poor Clag! Just checked my FB page and it doesn't say it's your birthday? DO you hide it?

You're days older than me!


LIVERBIRD    pirate
06/09/2012 at 20:36

Actually.... you're days off a YEAR younger than me!

*Takes foot out of mouth*

That can be my one

06/09/2012 at 20:44
I don't have my birthday on it as I don't like having too much personal info on these things. I can cope with a year or two but not 10! FFS! That's a bit much!
06/09/2012 at 21:51

I had someone congratulate me on my pregnancy....two years after my son was born.

My own clanger was when I was working in a call centre and the caller explained that they needed assistance as they were blind. I replied with "Oh, I see." The caller didn't miss a beat but I felt like a total idiot.

Blisters    pirate
06/09/2012 at 22:03

I hadn't visited this particular client for 6 months, but they are a friendly bunch. The lady was chatting about how her lodgers always left a mess in the kitchen. From the description it didn't sound too bad to me, so I asked her if she wanted to have my children.

Then we both cracked up.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
06/09/2012 at 22:07

I've done the "oh how's the wife/husband/dog" thing more times than I care to remember.

Only to learn they passed away two years ago.

Only way to deal with that one is to hit it bang on and say how sorry you are and hope they don't cry.

06/09/2012 at 22:35

At an end-of-training-course social, a colleague was chatting to the instructor's wife. She was a well-known figure on camp (this was in HM Forces, some time ago) and had recently had breast cancer and a double mastectomy. She was happily telling my colleague how the medics had advised her not to bottle up her feelings but talk openly about the illness and in particular the operation. "Yes," my colleague replied. "It's always good to get it all off your chest."

She realized it wasn't intentional. But he blushed the deepest red I have ever seen.

Nurse Ratched    pirate
07/09/2012 at 13:31

As a wee wet-behind-the ears student nurse, on my first ward placement, I was checking a patient who'd had a spinal anaesthetic (numbed from mid-torso down).  One of the checks was to make sure that normal movement was returning to the legs and feet, so I said, " Ok, we'll just see if you're able to wiggle your toes".  He gave me a very surprised stare - at exactly the same moment as I spotted his two prosthetic legs sitting by the bed.
I learned to pay attention in shift handovers. 

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