Good wedding jokes...


15 messages
gingerfurball    pirate
08/10/2010 at 22:49
Hubby has a speech to give and if at all possible - (yeah!  wrong audience) - clean please!! - we know all the old faithfuls.....give us your best shot...*ducks*
09/10/2010 at 00:03
He could always say "I'm pleased to give my daughter away, on this, her wedding day. Well I put her on Ebay for £20, but there were no takers, So I suppose I have to give her away."
09/10/2010 at 00:04
Or how about "I don't see it as losing a daughter, but gaining a bathroom."
09/10/2010 at 06:23

My pa in law started his speech when he gave his youngest daughter away by saying he had a short speech on account of his throat...Margaret (ma in law) would cut it if he talked for too long. Went down really well with the crowd.

Groom's speech concluded with "thanks to that rainy night in Bangor when there was nothing on TV, I've got my beautiful bride"

09/10/2010 at 18:46
always good to thank those who have come from abroad etc, the punchline is some will obviously have travelled under a mile and to say "some have even come as far as the town down the road"
09/10/2010 at 20:27
If you want to wake up with a smile on your face tomorrow morning, you'd best go to bed with a coat hanger in your gob.
Trogs    pirate
09/10/2010 at 20:34

Had to do a 'best person's' speech several years ago, t'interweb is overflowing with helpful wedding speech sites. 

Sadly, I can't remember any of them.

09/10/2010 at 21:56

could work in 'the bride and groom have changed their honeymoon plans according to the groom...i think theyre going to Wales......well i think so <groom's name> said that he is going to Bangor for a week'

ba doom tish

10/10/2010 at 07:47
At my wedding, the best man opened his speech by saying
"I'd like to thankyou all for coming, especially kenny (my dad) 31yrs ago.
10/10/2010 at 09:36

The best joke at my wedding was cracked by the bride: "I do".

Sorry, in a bit of a sour mood this morning

10/10/2010 at 13:10

It's been an emotional day, even the cake's in tiers...


11/10/2010 at 12:27

All the jokes you'll get from the interweb will be tired and tedious.  You need to come up with some jokes that relate to the people at the wedding, particularly the groom.  I was best man for a friend who kept tarantulas so I worked in various spider gags.  Then I was best man for a uni friend so there were lots of jokes relating to our time as students.

Having said that I have used the "I've prepared a short speech" before unrolling a couple of meters of paper.

11/10/2010 at 13:39
My wife and I are happily married. She's happy, I'm married !!!
11/10/2010 at 14:35

Best man at our wedding started with

"Unaccustomed as I am to getting this far through a wedding still sober........"

Later there was:

"I ran through my speech with [groom's mother] last night, and for legal reasons I will now not be telling you the stories about air rifles, the ride on mower and bad pies."

gingerfurball    pirate
11/10/2010 at 18:55

This is what he did say (which everyone thought was really funny!!)

I've been friends with Terri for 20 years and our relationship has always been a  very physical one (literal gasp from the crowd!!) - but recently I've been getting quite physical with Marty also (another gasp!!)....but then again I am their Osteopath so it's probably to be expected!!

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