Hit the delete

Before posting, ask yourself how will look tomorow?

1 to 20 of 112 messages
03/04/2012 at 06:59
Noticed an explosive response to a posting reply, full of f's, and wondered if it wouldn't have been a better idea to type it all out and then hit delete, instead of submit.
I've done a lot of this. But do others out there do this and how much gets put down before the steam is vented?
seren nos    pirate
03/04/2012 at 07:06
give us a link.......

i occasional type a long reply and then actually erase it all before hitting submit.......it helps for me to type it but realise that there is no point as the person will not read it properly.



i very rarely edit
03/04/2012 at 08:25

I use that technique for e-mails quite a lot. Write an immediate response to something. I know I can't possibly send it as is, but writing it gets it out of the system, then delete and write a considered reply.

I'm guessing Ghostrider's rant at BBH on the subject of race tops.

03/04/2012 at 08:29

I do that with emails - write them, leave them as drafts and then look at them in the morning after a nights sleep, they mostly seem OTT after a nights sleep.

Although I must admit some of the replies that cause the 'outbursts' could do with a bit of reflection too.

03/04/2012 at 08:32
I do it with emails. I was told "count to 10 or leave it overnight". On open forums like this where anyone can see responses I think you need to be a bit careful with your language and what you're saying... but I said that on this particular thread itself.
03/04/2012 at 08:50
Best to speak first and think later
03/04/2012 at 09:01
This is a pretty positive community. It's possible to disagree with someone while still showing respect for them. There's no place for hysterical posts that intentionally offend others.
03/04/2012 at 09:34
I don't think people can quite get their head round what is acceptable on the internet yet. From a free for all to jailing someone for 56 days. We just can't get it right. I don't know what the person in the Muamba case wrote but 56 days? Now it seems that a policeman caught strangling someone and calling them a "n.....r" is not going to be punished. Is offence on the internet worse than a physical and verbal assault in real life?
03/04/2012 at 09:40
Sussex Runner (NLR) wrote (see)
 Is offence on the internet worse than a physical and verbal assault in real life?

Is there a difference ? The internet is part of real life
Nam
03/04/2012 at 09:45

NLR sentencing is the most arbitrary thing ever...

In the years where I was a probation officer I spent a lot of time in court, seeing people get the most arbitrary sentences... Magistrates Court worse than Crown Court, but also to a degree in Crown Courts. 

You see people who committed acts of violence and have a stack of previous convictions that would kill my shredder, being given yet another "chance" at a non-custodial penalty and walk away with a bit of community service, yet a first time offender who knicked a lap top from work went straight to prison...

As a professional I knew the sentencing guidelines (which are very broad in a lot of instances), but still sometimes it was like tossing a fecking coin...

Nam
03/04/2012 at 09:46
Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)
Sussex Runner (NLR) wrote (see)
 Is offence on the internet worse than a physical and verbal assault in real life?

Is there a difference ? The internet is part of real life

Of course it's an element of real life, but in all fairness, there is a difference between saying on a forum "I think you deserve a smack in the mouth", and actually giving someone a smack in the mouth? 
03/04/2012 at 09:53
Nam wrote (see)
Of course it's an element of real life, but in all fairness, there is a difference between saying on a forum "I think you deserve a smack in the mouth", and actually giving someone a smack in the mouth? 

Oh Heck.................. You sure ?
OW
03/04/2012 at 09:54
kittenkat wrote (see)
I think that if everyone had to keep their emotions in check all the time, it would become a pretty dull place.

    

Bit open to interpretation this one. There is a huge difference between being emotionally repressed and able to express freely. 

I think most toddlers go through a stage of expressing their emotions freely. At some point they have to learn that their need is not the only one in existence!    Teenagers are much the same. They rock between expressing their emotions in a child like tantrum way and then being repressed and shut in their room ...until they develop a mature way of expressing emotion. So much easier to deal with people who don't veer between the two styles but have a mature balance.

<spoken as mother of teenager>   I think it comes with acceptance that they do not have to control the world...just their world.

OW
03/04/2012 at 09:56
I use the term "real life" as in not the physical state but yes Dave of course it is real life on the internet.

Good points there Nam
03/04/2012 at 10:45

Communication through written word is fraught with issues for everyone, it just becomes even harder to decipher with that type of communication impediment thrown into the mix. T'internet relies on only one cue, when in a face-to-face scenario we rely on not just the words but the non verbal ticks as well. How the text was meant and how it was read will depend on the experience of the person reading, not just the words of the person writing.

Its why you can spend hours writing an essay in English disceting the meaning of one short paragraph in a book. Imagine the fun* you could have disecting the underlying meaning in some of the posts on here...

* that may not be the word I'm looking for

OW
03/04/2012 at 11:07

Very true. Posts can be delivered with a smile or an irritable snarl and you receive it in whatever mood/place  you are in.

Re autism and mental health issues.  I know a guy with autism who consciously uses techniques to identify how his behaviour might be perceived and correct it. This enables him to live a life without so much conflict. He could just take the attitude of this is who I am, now get over it! but he wants to integrate and realises he cannot force the public to adapt to him. I guess not everyone has that capability or motivation and they will then face conflict as they hope to make the world conform to them

OW
03/04/2012 at 11:20
OW wrote (see)
kittenkat wrote (see)
I think that if everyone had to keep their emotions in check all the time, it would become a pretty dull place.

    

Bit open to interpretation this one. There is a huge difference between being emotionally repressed and able to express freely. 

I think most toddlers go through a stage of expressing their emotions freely. At some point they have to learn that their need is not the only one in existence!    Teenagers are much the same. They rock between expressing their emotions in a child like tantrum way and then being repressed and shut in their room ...until they develop a mature way of expressing emotion. So much easier to deal with people who don't veer between the two styles but have a mature balance.

<spoken as mother of teenager>   I think it comes with acceptance that they do not have to control the world...just their world.


Totally agree with OW but would add that your friends and family play a big part in emotional maturity and acknowledging the feelings of others'.

Too many people rage nowadays and claim their freedom to do so, then say sorry but only to knock back the flack that comes their way. They are not really contrite.

03/04/2012 at 11:50
kittenkat wrote (see)
Martenkay wrote (see)
OW wrote (see)
kittenkat wrote (see)
I think that if everyone had to keep their emotions in check all the time, it would become a pretty dull place.

    

Bit open to interpretation this one. There is a huge difference between being emotionally repressed and able to express freely. 

I think most toddlers go through a stage of expressing their emotions freely. At some point they have to learn that their need is not the only one in existence!    Teenagers are much the same. They rock between expressing their emotions in a child like tantrum way and then being repressed and shut in their room ...until they develop a mature way of expressing emotion. So much easier to deal with people who don't veer between the two styles but have a mature balance.

<spoken as mother of teenager>   I think it comes with acceptance that they do not have to control the world...just their world.


Totally agree with OW but would add that your friends and family play a big part in emotional maturity and acknowledging the feelings of others'.

Too many people rage nowadays and claim their freedom to do so, then say sorry but only to knock back the flack that comes their way. They are not really contrite.

But how can you tell that online?

Smilies ?

03/04/2012 at 11:52

KK online as in life I would expect to note some change of behaviour over time with someone I had frequent contact.

However online there is the advantage of simply "lurking" and simply noting little or no change in behaviour. Think of well known trolls or those banned by RW.

seren nos    pirate
03/04/2012 at 11:53
OW.....some great points being made .....

also online can be great for those on the autistic spectrum because they have time to reread what they want to post and can assess if its what they are trying to convey...where as in real life an answer to a question is expected straight away.....and therefore more pressure to get it right.....
so whilst they might get it wrong to start with they will learn from their mistakes and correct them as they have got that desire to fit in whilst still being themselves.....

which brings us back to the opening question......do we edit our inappropriate thoughts......
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