How Jealous Are YOU?

Do you check up on your partner/husband/wife?

21 to 37 of 37 messages
10/07/2012 at 10:56

I don't know.  I remember seeing a couple in a restaurant once.  When the woman went to the toilet, the bloke rummaged in her bag and got her phone out and had a good look.

I went to the ladies and told her what he was doing.  She said they'd only just got back together after a split!

 

10/07/2012 at 11:01

He does look like he could be one of those really scatty people. So maybe she checks that he's not forgotten something, rather than because she thinks he's cheating? We can't know their dynamic, maybe he's happy that she keeps tabs on him, maybe it's one less thing for him to worry about.

I'm not sure I'd do it, but I married a man who can use a diary - even if he doesn't always tell me what is in it. OK if just him, less good if he's expecting me to go too...

10/07/2012 at 11:26

But the article headline is "I check Jamie's emails and phone to make sure he's not cheating", so even if he hasn't 'given her a reason' to suspect him of cheating she does it anyway - not really the same as keeping track of his appointments!

10/07/2012 at 11:45

I would like to add that I wasn't reading the Daily Hate, or its website, I saw a reference to it in another paper...

10/07/2012 at 12:22

I think it's not really very fair to do the whole 'checking each other's phone/email' thing.

But if you find something you weren't expecting would you be able to deal with that?

I have never cheated and would rather split up with someone than cheat, but I don't think it's right that people feel that they should be checking up on me. My job involves touching people too, but I'm a professional and it is my job. Nothing more.

10/07/2012 at 12:28

I've not read the article concerned, so I'm not guilty of reading that paper either.

10/07/2012 at 12:28

Samantha Brick in the Daily Mail - I snoop on my man's emails because I don't trust other women

(Apparently in Daily Mail land if your husband cheats on you it's the fault of the other woman)

10/07/2012 at 12:53

Vixx76 I'm completely with you.  I think it is actually very insulting to be in a relationship with someone but act as though he is a ravening pervert who can't look at or speak to another woman without wanting to sleep with her. 

10/07/2012 at 12:56

What about the women who cheat? Are men more likely to cheat, or is it more 50-50 these days?

I don't know of any men that check their partner's phones, but I am guessing there must be some somewhere who do?

10/07/2012 at 14:59
xine267 wrote (see)

...I think there is a big difference between privacy and secrecy...

...IMHO the lack of trust does as much damage, if not more, to a relationship than any "secrets" you might uncover...

I wish I could get this fundamental difference across to my other half. Any time I forget to log out of my hotmail, he digs through my massive and never cleared out inbox reading stuff from years before we met and getting all pissy about guys I used to know - mostly just friends, not exes. I don't think he actually suspects me of anything, he's just insecure and a nosey so-and-so. He thinks I'm furtive and secretive, I think he's ludicrous. Meanwhile he looks up old girlfriends on Facebook and messages them asking how they're getting on, which I don't mind in the slightest as I know - again - he's just being incorrigibly nosey, but what I despise is the double standards being employed.

I've checked up on guys a couple of times in the past, only to confirm strong suspicions that they were up to no good. I've never been wrong. I'm not an insecure person in general and I'm not prone to snooping for no reason.

10/07/2012 at 15:38
Vixx76 wrote (see)

What about the women who cheat? Are men more likely to cheat, or is it more 50-50 these days?

I don't know of any men that check their partner's phones, but I am guessing there must be some somewhere who do?

I expect that women cheat nearly as much, if not completely as much, as men!  There must be statistics somewhere.

That Samantha Brick - isn't she the one who wrote an article about how all other women hate her because she's so beautiful? 

http://s4.runnersworld.co.uk/members/images/4741/gallery/samantha_brick_interview_about_her_looks.jpg?width=350

 The idea that if her husband cheats it's the other woman's fault is not confined to the Daily Mail.

10/07/2012 at 16:25

Vixx76, what you said about touching people as a professional reminds me of an incident in one of those 24 hours in A&E programs. A women had come in needing immediate medical attention and the drunken jealous oaf of a boyfriend kept, first demanding that staff 'help her' and in turn going ballistic every time one of the male doctors went near her.

10/07/2012 at 16:29
I find a good chastity belt solves all the problems
10/07/2012 at 17:20

Wilkie - yes, that is Samantha Brick of "I'm too beautiful" 'infamy'. She's probably worried her hubby might go for a burger instead of a steak sometime. I have seen much prettier women than her. Hell, I've been out with prettier than her.

RicF - luckily I don't have to deal with drunk people

DtES - LOL

Lee the Pea    pirate
11/07/2012 at 09:22

I'd never check a partner's phone or email, because I think it would be all too easy to misconstrue something innocent, but mostly because it is none of my business! I would be livid if i found someone surreptitiously checking my texts or whatever, because they didn't trust me.  I'd rather they asked if they were insecure, and I could show them there's nothing to worry about.

11/07/2012 at 09:31

I was clearing out my texts a few weeks ago and found one that looked very suspicious.  I was surprised as I didn't remember sending any of those sorts of texts to anyone.  Then I read it in context and the meaning became clear.  What was original seen as rather steamy was in actual fact very innocent when you read the context.

To me the trust thing goes both ways.  I trust my man to behave himself.  In return I trust him by allowing him access to my phone and email because I know he won't look at it unless he asks permission first.

13/07/2012 at 14:59

Me and my wife have the same e-mail account. I don't have a mobile and I couldn't check up on my wife's 'phone even if I wanted to as I have no idea how it works (although at a push I might be able to use it in a novel way and make a 'phone call).


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