Clag wrote (see)
The past has certainly led us to be far more open and honest about things. Nothing festers in our relationship, if someone is having doubts or is unhappy about something it is shared, and I think this does make things stronger.
I think that's one of the keys to a good relationship.
One of the worst things I see is men who "store things up", bend over backwards to be "nice", not rock the boat etc. I think maybe they know the relationship is not going to last, so they want to be seen as the "good" one when things do finally go wrong. They swallow their discontent, and then eventually explode and storm out, or have a midlife crisis or something, which may be the first thing their unfortunate spouse knows about it. I expect women do something similar (saving up grudges) though it tends to be men I talk to.
I've always thought it a bit disrespectful to slag off the OH when he/she isn't present and can't present their side of the story. If you don't have respect for each other then the situation can't possibly last.
There is a difference between needing to get things off your chest in a frustrating situation and putting someone down for the sake of it. Some people don't seem to know where that line is.
