How much would you spend...

KK had my point spot on - it's not what you do ...it's why you do it.

Our parties have been varied in ideas and expense. They have suited the situation at the time.  To go back to DoT's problem........ is it money or politics or whether the party is suitable ?

Money..... doubt this is the real issue

Politics.... minefield!!!!!!!   and worth not treading on that mine but defusing

Suitable...... only the parents and child know the answer to this but lots of opinions on here showing just how personal it is 

The minefield of politics between what Mum and Dad think is appropriate, isn't just confined to parents who are separated.

We have disagreed on things like this in the past and considerable communication has occurred before  he's done what I tell him 

lol Mrs P

"diplomacy is the art of letting other people have your own way"

Nam wrote (see)

Not tight at all...  My birthdays at that age was some friends over, games in the garden, mum made some snacks and baked a cake and the kids got little pressie bags with some sweets to take home...

Hey,

Just finished my pasta in prep for tomorrow's Stafford Half. Been out most of the day - blagged an extra afternoon with the kids to take them to ... a birthday party - my best mates 3yr old daughter's.

Bouncy castle, soft play, music from a "ghetto blaster", party tea, and pass the parcel. 15 kids £75 all in.

Anyway, I see you've been busy posters whilst I've been out - and some really interesting thoughts. Just to catch up on one or two...

Popsider - At least Do2s wife is doing the organising herself rather than just paying some soft play place or MacDonalds a fixed fee to do it all for her which is what the majority seem to do now. - Actually, no, thats exactly what she is proposing - a package where they provide a bouncy castle and a dj and sausage and chips or fishfingers & chips. I've volunteered my services as a makeshift DJ / party game organiser in a hired hall with a boucy castle hired separately, but its been turned down.

The whole class issue: For various reasons, I'm not against this, infact for reception class of 15 in a village school I think its probably a really good idea - especially as my boy tends to be a bit of a loner sometimes and its unclear who his real friends will be from week to week.

The politics issue: We have always had widely different views about a lot of things - the problem beng that we made (make) such a hash of communicatiing with each other that small skirmishes have a habit of opening old wounds - if they didn't we may still be married - who knows?

The "when I were a lad / girl" issue: I once told my mum and dad that the most useful thiung they ever did was teach me the value of money - this was when I was a boring 20 something who took himself too seriously though - not a 5 yr old. I wholehearedly agree with the idea of sometimes being cruel to be kind though. Without going in to details I think there is some other stuff here about mine and my ex's upbringing, and indded our current circumstances which leads to some insecurity and fear of upsetting our chiuldren by not giving them everything on her part.

Finally, the keeping up with the Jones's issue: Never really bothered me, but I do see it as a large potential prerssue in a small village, and I know someone who is easily infleunced by such pressure.

Early noight for me in a bit - up late bathroom tiling last night, and early start tomorrow. Cheers All.

If I invited 30 kids to my daughter's party, it wouldn't really be about her anymore, it would be like a class trip, they would all just mill around in their friendship groups anyway.

I'm saying nothing against G's party btw, I'm talking solely about my kids.

It sounded lovely GD

kk G's birthday is on the 8th of September so we didn't know who to invite so we thought it was a good way of getting to know all of her class mates

and apart from me and my best mate having to dress as hula girls

tough situation, do2.

at the end of the day you are a bit stuck with what the mum wants.

disco and bouncy castle does seem like overkill, tho. half the time the kids are so over-stimulated they don't know what to do.

neighbour is a party puppet person and does parties for some seriously loaded people who are out to impress the other parents. she's done parties where she is in one corner, a magician in another and something else in the middle. kids are spinning in the middle not knowing where to go. as her puppet shows are based on story telling it'sa complete disaster.

but your ex isn't likely to change her mind on what she wants. in fact,she's demonstrated she's willing to fight dirty to get it. it's his party but she's willing to ban his dad - nice.

think all you can do is try to negotiate the bouncy castle out of the equation and keep the dj for the music your son loves and for much needed crowd control. 

i think with a small class and a hall to fill it's fine to invite the whole class as it's so small anyway.

i ahve made my daughter invite a child she didn't like. there were only 4 other girls in her class at school and she only wanted to invite 3 of them. i just couldn't bear to leave the other girl out. it wasn't like she was mean or a bully or anything. jsut explained to daughter that sometimes other people's feelings have to come first, even if it's your birthday, and how would she feel etc. in the end it was all fine and everybody got along in the excitement of it all. and i hope daughter learned a good lesson from it. although i have the feeling if i asked her about it now she wouldn't be able to remember it!

whatever decisions are made hope your boy has a lovely birthday

x post, gd!

erm, hula girls? do you think that may have anything to do with why so many parents felt they had to stay?

Blimey..  a thread about childrens parties and we are on page 6...

What works for one family won't necessarily work for everyone...   if someone can create a simple party for 20 kids for less than £100 then great.  If they want to spend £300, well that is great too.   It doesn't make either better or more worthy than the other.   I don't see what the problem is.   The same analogy can be applied to almost every aspect of life - the car you drive, where you go on holiday, how big your TV is etc...

I really don't see why people should get wound up over how much other people choose to spend on things... 

The personal politics of the relationship between the childs parents is almost a unrelated issue.   This time it happens to be a dispute about the choice of party.  Next time it could easily be about holiday choices or Christmas presents....

I really don't see why people should get wound up over how much other people choose to spend on things... 

but spending hundreds and hundreds on a kids party, isn't that losing perspective a bit?

and the kids will come to expect that every year..........

Again it comes back to your values about the value of money and how you want your kids to perceive the above.

Even if I had lots of money I wouldn't buy all and sundry for my children, there is a principle involved there for me.

I know everyone is different.

i have a friend who's dad is seriously loaded

when her son was 5 his grandad bought him an electric guitar - i was horrified - what will he get him next year to better that? etc and he lives ina big house and his parent have lots of money too and he still gets big presents for his birthdays and xmas but

said young man is now 12 and nicer kid you could not wish to meet, it's not written in stone that if you get given lots of stuff that you don't appreciate it or that you will be rubbish with money