I don't need another hero....

Or do I?

1 to 20 of 29 messages
22/10/2012 at 17:25

Had an interesting conversation with a colleague today.

It went something like this:

He wouldnt stand up in a busy train to give a seat to a woman because in his eyes, that would be offensive. Because in the modern day men and women are equal and he wouldnt want to indicate that he somehow sees a woman as a weaker party.

I said if a man would offer me his seat, I would find it lovely. It would be so nice to feel aknowledged, noticed and it would make me feel special somehow. A true gentleman.

He says if I stood up for him, he would feel offended.

I said thats just very typical example of a difference between a man and a woman, and how differently we see things.

I also said that in the modern day, I wouldn't EXPECT anyone to stand up for me. That would be expected only when an elderly or disabled people needed a seat.

BUT that doesnt take away the fact that if someone did that for me, I would feel flattered rather than handicapped.

I am sure lot of women won't share my viewpoint but I would imagine that a lot would.

The question is, would you, as a man or a woman, agree with his / my view?

 

 

22/10/2012 at 17:28

I agree with you Elli. I have no reason to expect to be given a seat, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate it if someone did offer me a seat. I wouldn't necessarily accept it, but I would appreciate it I can't see cause for offense. If you don't want the seat, politely decline.

22/10/2012 at 17:28

Women want it all ways: equality and a bloke who puts the toilet seat down.  Choose - one or the other!

22/10/2012 at 17:32
Intermanaut wrote (see)

Women want it all ways: equality and a bloke who puts the toilet seat down.  Choose - one or the other!

I actually do the equality thing by saying that the lid must always be closed. So we're both having to lift it up to use it. Simples.

I am flattered if someone offered me a seat... saying that - coming back on the metro yesterday - noone offered the marathoners a seat. I think it was because we stank of sweat!

22/10/2012 at 17:32

My view is that I am able-bodied and don't need a seat any more than an able-bodied man.

I don't take offence if offered someone's seat, but it doesn't make me feel special or flattered if someone offers.  I see it as a nice gesture, but not needed, so I say thanks, but I'm fine, you keep your seat.

I reserve the right to take offence if/when someone offers me a seat because they think I'm elderly, though!

 

22/10/2012 at 17:33
sarah the bookworm wrote (see)

I agree with you Elli. I have no reason to expect to be given a seat, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate it if someone did offer me a seat. I wouldn't necessarily accept it, but I would appreciate it I can't see cause for offense. If you don't want the seat, politely decline.

Exactly what I mean! It's the gesture that matters. I probably wouldnt accept the seat either but that doesnt take away the fact that I would find it a lovely gesture.

22/10/2012 at 17:36

I don't see why women get upset about the toilet seat being up. 

As I mentioned, I am able-bodied.  I can stand for a train journey, and I can certainly lower a toilet seat.

22/10/2012 at 17:39
Wilkie wrote (see)

I don't see why women get upset about the toilet seat being up. 

As I mentioned, I am able-bodied.  I can stand for a train journey, and I can certainly lower a toilet seat.

Toilet seat doesnt bother me either. You need to compromise/tolerate either lifting it up or lowering it down, if there's two opposite sex people living in the same house.

22/10/2012 at 17:51

Other than the idea that you always want to put the lid down before flushing...which is difficult to do without putting the seat down first 

22/10/2012 at 17:59
Emmy_H wrote (see)
Intermanaut wrote (see)

Women want it all ways: equality and a bloke who puts the toilet seat down.  Choose - one or the other!

I actually do the equality thing by saying that the lid must always be closed. So we're both having to lift it up to use it. Simples.

 

My partner insists on the loo seat being closed, so I close it. I just think it's ugly not being closed.

I would think it strange if a man offered me a seat. i do not need or want it. I would feel neither flattered or offened. Perplexed more like. (gawd do I look that bad!) I would not find it a lovely gesture. Just odd.

22/10/2012 at 18:27
Leaving the seat up is bad fenugreek shui apparently.
I'd offer my seat only to someone older or looking like they need it. Might hold a door open though......
22/10/2012 at 18:28
Haha auto correct is so annoying! Feng shui of course!
22/10/2012 at 18:51

Toilet lids should be down when flushed.  They should also be down when small kids and pets are around.  It takes the same effort for both parties to put the lid down after use.

As for a seat on a train, if its the tube I generally prefer to stand anyway and if it is a long distance train then I will be chuffed to bits to be offered a seat.  I would expect it to be offered because I looked tired, or was carrying a lot rather than because I was female.  Actually, expect is the wrong word.  I don't expect anything.  What I mean is that I woulld offer it to others who looked worse off than me, so i would like to think that they would do the same back.

22/10/2012 at 19:08

If it was a pregnant lady, someone elderly or someone disabled, I would offer them the seat.

22/10/2012 at 19:12

I what's with putting the lid down?  I don't - never have done.  My OH doesn't, my mum doesn't, I don't think my friends do - it's not down when I use their loos.

Doesn't seem to have done me any harm in 50 years.

Toilets are not fetid pits of disease, whatever loo product manufacturers would have you believe.

22/10/2012 at 19:16

Toilets aren't Wilkie, but the stuff you put in them can be.

You wouldn't leave cleaning chemicals in reach of children, but lots of people leave toilet blocks on show where kids could find them interesting and play with them.

Also it's a practical thing.  I've never accidently dropped anything down a toilet with the lid shut.  It also provides a useful place to sit when cutting toe nails for example.

22/10/2012 at 19:22

Seriously though ladies, I you got on to a crowded bus with 5 bags of shopping and I offered you my seat, would you be offended by my gesture?

22/10/2012 at 19:28

I would never be offended by a genuine offer of help in any situation.  As long as you aren't offended if I chose to turn you down.

I might be offended if you also had 5 bags of shopping and a small child in a push chair.  Its all relative.  If you are struggling more than me then you shouldn't be offering.

22/10/2012 at 19:36

In this hypothetical scenario all I am carrying is my wallet, house keys and my phone.

22/10/2012 at 20:08
JeremyG wrote (see)
Leaving the seat up is bad fenugreek shui apparently.

Autocorrect does wonderful things sometimes! Love it

1 to 20 of 29 messages
Previously bookmarked threads are now visible in "Followed Threads". You can also manage notifications on these threads from the "Forum Settings" section of your profile settings page to prevent being sent an email when a reply is made.
Forum Jump  

RW Forums