(if) I'm gonna die

A question about death.

Your death.

OK - so, I've been ill and the chances were that I was going to die. When I knew this I really didn't care.

I'm just wondering who else has been near death and how they felt about it.

I talked to a lot of close friends and made sure they knew and also that they would look after my partner and help him find some one new.

When my mother died she knew that she was dying. I wonder if she helped engineer my fathers new relationship with the ex wife of her best friend. ( or it could so easily have been the ex wife of his best friend).

Sorry to be so morribund and morose on a Saturday night but things have got me thinking.
What would you do if you thought your chances of waking tomorrw were nil?

Having literally starred down the barrel of a gun and walked away, i made sure that i lived for the moment and stopped worrying about tomorrow......this was how i lived for the last 9 years however, with the birth of my first child just over a week ago I now find that i'm realising that I do need to think about tomorrow again.

PS BM it's friday night not saturday

I'd think I haven't lived much yet but at least I've achieved some good things and always upheld my beliefs/stood up for what I believe in.

I don't have a huge amount of friends but I know a good number of people I can make smile or influence.

I don't have a huge family either but again, the relatives I do have, I'm especially close to and love truly - and I know they love me unconditionally back.

I used to think a lot about 'the meaning of life' but it doesn't trouble me so much now.. I know people say the meaning of life is to procreate but personally I don't buy into that. I think the meaning of life is to find your own path, follow it - stick to it regardless of whatever challenges are thrown in the way to destruct it. I think you need to stay true to your heart and your gut feelings. I think you need to appreciate your own traits and qualities and not dwell on the negatives and things you can't change. I think you need to be happy in your own skin and understand that money and materialism will never bring you happiness. I think there are lessons in life that can never be taught, but only experienced. There is usually someone less fortunate than you. I think there's a lot of comfort to be found in that.

Like Old Timer says, death is just one of the realities of life - we've all got to face it sometime, just unfortunately some sooner than others. I'm sure all those people in Japan weren't planning on having to face it so soon either but hopefully they can find some peace and a light at the end of the seemingly unending darkness.

I really hope you're OK.

I'm absolutely fine, i'm merely trying to illustrated a light hearted slant on a subject some would find macabre.

After all we are all going to be a long time dead so we might as well enjoy ourselves. 

And before you ask i have'nt been drinking !!         I've got me a 20 mile race on sunday.

After a motorbike accident I had a couple of hours "on the edge", ambulance was stopped to "work" on me, they held me going to the OR to allow my Dad to "see" me before I went down.

I just felt peaceful.

I was only 17 though.

Now I think I'd be very scared of leaving my Wife and kids alone and not being with them.

d2D - I can understand what you are saying to some extent. I always lacked confidence or self esteem, but when I didn't think I had a future that became a thing of the past. I think I learnt a lot from that experience - crap jargon, grew as a person, stopped feeling so damn sorry for myself etc.

FF - I don't have children - not something I can do, I don't know how they may have changed my perception of the world. Sorry to be wishing life away - ok Friday night.

Old Timer - think you talk a lot of sense. I hope it's Death from Terry Pratchett cos he is one cool guy.

Last time I got hit by a truck and thought I was going to die I was scared, not of death, but of being splayed down the road and ground out. (gruesome).

Madlot - I'm fine - I think you've seen the photo of scar and tattoo.

Running Kev - I've had a really bad bike accident as well. I was also with a kid when he died outside my house. (then there was a murder investigation as someone had thrown a half brick at him which had caused him to crash) I also had to deal with his girlfriend who was just screaming.

I don't know about peaceful - it' just like I don't care. I have no empathy.

I have seen death in quite the most horrible ways (hand grenade in a croweded place) and people being shot in a bus. since then I have a stronger hold on life than I had then. That may seem wrong but it made me see how fragile life can be. Here one minute gone the next,  now I have children its even more perternant, but I don't fear death. I guess I have seen how (lucky is not really the word) fortunate I am to live in a reasonabley stable country. To have good freinds and a great hobby means a lot but life its self is no big deal. We live in fotunate times.

But to answer the original question the two times I have been close to death myself were both feelings of being terrified as I was only 10 and the second I was cool with it as I had seen what I had seen and the drugs really heped( I was in the middle east some years ago)

biker-mouse wrote (see)

I don't know about peaceful - it' just like I don't care. I have no empathy.