It's a National Shame!

How The British Treat Their Elderly

1 to 20 of 22 messages
19/10/2013 at 22:41

Do you agree?

19/10/2013 at 22:47

Up to a million elderly people are being consigned to a life of loneliness and ill health because of society’s shameful failure to take responsibility for older relatives,

They are too many old people are unnecessarily placed into care or left isolated in their own homes when they could be looked after by relatives.

Apparently  Asian people care for their elderly better than the British - Fact!

seren nos    pirate
20/10/2013 at 07:17

agree Karen.......

 but also a lot of the elderely in britain can be too proud to ask for help or too stubborn to accept health..........

and all women still want to be the master of their own home in this country.so when more than 2 generations live together then who is incharge.it can be hard for thr elderely to accept that they no longer are in charge of the kitchen its their daughter in law or daughter.....

 

maybe a lot ofr asian familes have done it because its what has always happened.they doi it because its that or starve...........I think after a couple of generations have lived in this country then it will happen les and less as there are other options.......and the women be it the daughter in laws or mothers will not live together just because they are told to ort because they have no other option........

I think unlkess their is a genuine affection and enjoyment in each other company the people are better off having the care adone by others

20/10/2013 at 09:12
Euthanasia for the over 30's ?
20/10/2013 at 09:47
kittenkat wrote (see)

I have female bits, I must be in charge of the kitchen. Really?

Yes, but just don't even think about asking for the tv remote! Thats man stuff!

Edited: 20/10/2013 at 09:48
20/10/2013 at 10:01

why do you think we put the portable tv in the kitchen ..... now back to it, that bacon ain't gonna cook itself !

20/10/2013 at 10:06
Why are wedding dresses white ?

So they match the fridge, the washing machine ......etc
20/10/2013 at 10:21

Would these be the same elderly who bought up their homes at rock bottom prices along with some investment properties, cheered as they fuelled the housing market leading to double digit percentage price increases year on year and now that theyve paid off their homes have made it impossible for an entire generation to get on the housing ladder?

20/10/2013 at 11:32
Mr A Nonymous wrote (see)

Would these be the same elderly who bought up their homes at rock bottom prices along with some investment properties, cheered as they fuelled the housing market leading to double digit percentage price increases year on year and now that theyve paid off their homes have made it impossible for an entire generation to get on the housing ladder?

Nope, these would be the same elderly that, ran the schools that educated you, staffed the hospitals that fixed you when you were ill, farmed the land so you could eat as a child and fought the wars to ensure your freedom .... you know those old ones !

 

 

20/10/2013 at 11:34
kittenkat wrote (see)

My wedding dress wasn't white. And if there's any bacon, it's going to stuff my apples. Yummy yeah!

Now there's a euphemism you don't hear often !

20/10/2013 at 12:08
kittenkat wrote (see)

I have female bits, I must be in charge of the kitchen. Really?

I think "kitchen" was metonymy. Or synecdoche. Whatever.

I think the point is about how difficult it is to make the transition from being the one who cares for, to being the one who is cared for.

20/10/2013 at 13:13

When both partners in a relationship go out to work who is going to be home to look after the frail relative that needs caring for?

If an older relative needs care then they need care. They can not be left alone at home to fend for themselves. They will still be lonely and isolated. My husband left home for work before 7am and didn't get in from work until gone 8:30 pm. Often he wouldn't come home because he went away for work, normally one or two nights a week every week. I worked shifts including night shifts. Who would there be at home to look after an eldery relative? No one.

btw my kitchen appliances are black.

20/10/2013 at 14:07

Agree with SN on this one.

I've always liked the idea of extended families however, my parents most definitely did not. As with every family they knew, they all wanted their own space. They 'had plans' and didn't want anyone else there.

 95% of people I do garden jobs for, are elderly and on their own. But it still doesn't change their opinion. My own mother still wants everything her own way but now has to impose on others to get it. 

 

 

20/10/2013 at 16:12

Your second post suggests that old people have no say in what happens in their later years - that stuff is done to them (or not) without their permission. Lots of old people prefer to stay in their own place even if it might mean a 'lonely' existence. Perhaps this is preferable to being in a home. Why is there a presumption that communal living is suddenly what we want when we're elderly? My Nan said she never wanted to live "In one of those places where they all sit in a circle staring at each other".

it's not a perfect situation by any means, but times change and, as other people have suggested, the extended family may not be workable in many homes these days.

20/10/2013 at 16:34

It does seem a shame- it's a reflection on modern society.  Self centred lifestyles abound, with the implication that care for relatives is not their responsivility.

A short story (promise); A farmer who was bailing his hay said that 20 years ago, people in the village would come to help (it's intense labour and you have to do it whilst it's dry).  In turn, he would help when they needed it.  Nowdays, nobody helps each other, rather you pay for the services you require.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how modern society is.  They're in it for themsleves. I see far too few people who don't love each other and members of their own family enough.

Very sad 

Edited: 20/10/2013 at 16:35
21/10/2013 at 14:22

My Mum is 90, and she lives in her own home (selfish old bag, keeping a whole house to herself just because she's paid for it and lived in it for 55 years!)

She wouldn't want to live with me any more than I'd want to live with her.

 

 

21/10/2013 at 18:54
widow hog-mouse wrote (see)

When both partners in a relationship go out to work who is going to be home to look after the frail relative that needs caring for?

If an older relative needs care then they need care. They can not be left alone at home to fend for themselves. They will still be lonely and isolated. My husband left home for work before 7am and didn't get in from work until gone 8:30 pm. Often he wouldn't come home because he went away for work, normally one or two nights a week every week. I worked shifts including night shifts. Who would there be at home to look after an eldery relative? No one.

btw my kitchen appliances are black.

Good point!
But there are Carers who visits the elderly  in their homes upto four times a day.

They can start as early as 7am.   Carers can wash and dress the elderly in their homes.  Carers prepare meals/snacks feed the elderly and toilet them during the day.

21/10/2013 at 19:31

I use to work in this place where there were 30 elderly people.  Out of 30 people

there was one Black West Indian and there was no Asians.  What really upset me that the relatives of elderly Caucasian people never visited them.  Most of those elderly people hardly received a Christmas card from their family. 

But that one Black West Indian elderly person had loads of visitors (family, friends and church members) who visited weekly!

There are not many Black people in Care homes.  Black people do try to look after their grand-parents in their home. 

Edited: 21/10/2013 at 19:34
22/10/2013 at 09:06
Karen Samuel wrote (see)

There are not many Black people in Care homes.  Black people do try to look after their grand-parents in their home. 


Black and ethnic are 16% of the UK population, but only 8% are aged 65 or over, this diminishes with advanced age.

So there will not be as many black and ethnic in care homes, it's a fairly stupid (not to mention racist) assumption that black families take greater care of their elderly.

 

 

22/10/2013 at 09:39

I was going to say something similar about population statistics, but in the end I just couldn't be bothered...

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