Kids and alcohol

If you had a 14 year old daughter (yr 9) would you let her go to a Christmas party at one of her friends dad's house if she told you some of them (13/14 year olds) were taking alcohol (wkd was mentioned) and the guy who owned the house was OK with it? 

I'm thinking no chance but she reckons most of her friends parents are OK with it.

No.

No.  My daughter is now 16 and we let her go to a party like that; though I dropped her off and picked her up (and I really wasn't happy about it).

But I can't believe what some parents let their kids do; it's like they want to be mates with their children, rather than being a parent.

No.

i think it would depend on the child........are they mature enough to  comply with whatever agreement you made with them......eg ... no alcohol..or just the one......after food and then soft drinks.........

I think i would be tempted to leave it another couple of years to be honest..........but i would tend to go on your instincts........you seem pretty sensible in general regarding your kids and you seem to have taken the time to know them

Well I thought that but she's staying over at one of their houses tomorrow night and she says ask her dad

edit - oh and I'm not letting her go - just wondering if I'm out of step with what's normal - I asssumed this kind of thing would be more 16 year olds up

(Thank goodness I don't have kids.)

No and it would not be a matter of how mature/sensible she was.

It would worry me that there was so much uncontrolled behaviour regarding the party. Others can get out of hand and it might not matter how mature/sensible she is.

Liken it to the the safest best qualified mature driver on the road and he meets a drunk driver or a car out of control hurtling towards him......skills and qualities won't help........ there will be pain and hurt!

i think thats slighly different Martenkay.......a bit extreme 

If she went and remained sober she would be the wiser when she saw the ones drinking throwing up and being sick everywhere making a fool of themselves........I have never heard of drunken teenagers being a danger to their friends.mainly to themselves

Is she just saying that other parents are ok with it? Have you asked the other parents if they are letting their kids drink at this party?

Don't let her go.

No, no and thrice no !!!

And I would also strongly think about having a word with the so-called 'parent' that does think it is acceptable for children (and at 14 they still very much are children despite how grown up they think they are) to behave in that way, and indeed actively encourages others children to do so too (by allowing it in their house as a party!) ... just grossly wrong !

The parent hosting the party can also be sued for breach of his/her duty of care to the children if any of the kids attending the party drink alcohol and come to harm because it.

I was never allowed to go to parties with alcohol when I was a teenager. This taught me to lie through my teeth to my parents .

I have a son in year 9, and no. I wouldn't let him go to a party where it was okay for 14 year old's to be taking alcohol. I would speak to the parent involved. You might find the poor fella knows nothing about it! Teenagers are a devious little bunch!

These issues have got to be talked through properly though. Plenty of teenagers get drunk hanging around the park where there is no adult to supervise.

Just saying 'no' all the time isn't enough. Open honest discussion about the reasons why it isn't a good idea is more important in my opinion. The kids have got to learn to make responsible choices for themselves, they need have the possible consequences pointed out to them.

Peer pressure is a monster and whether we like it or not, being liked by your mates to many 14 year old's is a lot more important than doing what your Mum says.... I don't know many teenagers who don't test the boundaries! Not many resist all temptations just because they are doing what their parents have told them to do. We just like to think that's the case.

My sons nearly 15 and I'd not let him go to a party where there was going to be alcohol and the parents were Ok with the youngsters drinking.

We've allowed him to have small sips of alcohol, including very watered down wine and bucks fizz but he doesn't like it and will tell you that he doesn't want to try it when you offer it. I'd hope that if he was at a party where there was alcohol he'd turn it down, but peer pressure can be horrible (at any age).

I remember trying alcohol at his age at a scout camp, someone had brought homemade alcohol of some sort and we shared it out while the leaders weren't around. Only problem was to hide the fact of what we were drinking we poured into into the mugs of tea that we were drinking, instantly curdled the milk and put us off.

SparklyHope wrote (see)

Peer pressure is a monster

 

Isn't it just? For some as an adult also!

If you say no, she will find a way to go anyhow, whether to this party or the next, I would say you know your child better than anyone and you are the best person to judge, personally I would say yes but I'd expect good behaviour, I'd also make sure that she was dropped off and picked up.

There's always one!

popsider wrote (see) 

I'm thinking no chance but she reckons most of her friends parents are OK with it.