Kids at uni

So Muttley Jnr and the ex-Mrs Muttley have between them cocked up his finances in his first term at uni. She expects him to live like a hermit in a cave, he gets a sudden large amount of money and blows the lot pronto. Like any normal teenager would.

So it falls to me to a) get him to manage his money properly, if he wants to listen, and b) supplement his maintenance grant if necessary (I'm already paying for his accommodation).

Question: what is a reasonable amount of money for a student to live on these days, meaning food and drink and a fair amount of socializing but not running wild? Halls and utility bills (but not phone) excluded, books and other study essentials also excluded. He's in Penrith, Cumbria.

How do others manage this? Any tips, experiences to pass on? Ta.

if you and he don't think it's too patronising, you might get him to do an itemised weekly budget, including things like socialising but not going over the top. Then he can tell you how much money he needs, but you'll be able to see straight away if he's taking the p***. And it'll be useful for him anyway to sit down and add up what things cost.

I'm a mature student in the 2nd year of my law degree and I have to survive on my student loan. I buy all Asda Smartprice food and cut my cloth to suit my budget. I don't own a television and rarely go out drinking. I only buy new clothes if I absolutely need to, and stich pants and socks up when holes appear in them.

I worked for 18 years before going to uni, so I know the value of money, hence I don't waste it. What annoys me is when some of the teenagers there go out on a Saturday evening and spend £80 from the bank of mum and dad. Some even have their driving lessons paid for by parents and get a car bought them when they pass. Ok fair enough, some people may be able to afford to fund this lifestyle for their teenage offspring, but I was brought up to pay my own way.

I don't mean to appear bitter about this, as I'm not, but will these teenagers ever really appreciate the value of money if they are continually funded by their parents?

When I was a student, I watched with horror how other students would blow every penny they could lay their hands on, as fast as they could. Even the over-draft option didn't stop them the next time a lump of cash fell into their hands.

Interesting to know if Jnr knew the consequences of his actions. It may have some bearing on how he receives funds and how much.

In my experience, the grant (in those days) was quite enough to pay for educational purposes. It was not enough to pay for a full blown social life as if holding down a full time job.

I was also surprised how some students seemed to think they should be able to match a full time workers spending power. Clever and stupid combined.

Thanks guys, esp Princess Leah for the links. I'll have a good read of them.

All I'm doing here is asking for how others parent their kids at uni so I can come to a sensible arrangement.

Feel free to rant about bloody students, but before you do have a look at the first post for an idea of whether I'm interested

Do you mean the post where your ex must take responsibility for your son getting in a mess and you only have to be the white knight solving the problem?

How about Muttley Jr getting a part-time job?

My ex worked all through his full-time degree.

they are adults not kids...........let them sort their own money out...........if they have to earn or borrow what they need then they will be more careful how they spend it........

the sensible arrangement is to let them be adults ........and make their own mistakes regarding money......

otherwise its just like the mobile phones.............they go over their limit.... daddy sorts them out a bigger limit whilst giving them a lecture..............they spens to much money at uni.....daddy gives them more whilst giving them a lecture...............

they remortgage their homes to the hilt and daddy sorts them out with a lecture........

substitute mummy for daddy where appropriate............

nowadays kids try to grow up too fast from 10 and want adult stuff......and whenthey get to 18 we try and treat them like kids

+1 for Seren

I dont really agree with all this let them struggle and suffer to learn the error of their ways,

JP jnr is there to further and better his education and hopefully his future prospects (although personally I think we are all f@@ked and he should really be doing a degee in chinese, but thats another issue)

IF they are struggling, hungry and generally pissed off with life due to struggling with finances then they are not going to do their best,

Is there much point in incurring £30k of student loan debt etc for a 2:3 degree.

If you can afford to help them out without funding a playboy lifestyle, whats the problem?

Dave/ Seren are you seriously saying you have never helped out any of your  kids financially?

+1  for JPenno

I have found out that last autumn the ex-Mrs Muttley delivered Jnr to campus to start his studies. She also supplied him with a huge stockpile of tinned and dried food and expected him to exist on £20 a week, including for the train fare back home (that's Penrith to Reading!). Hence my question ...

Of the living costs links that Princess Leah posted, I reckon Newcastle should be good for Cumbria. In any event, what JPenno pays was about what I had in mind.

All this should have been sorted out last autumn of course

With all 4 we have paid accomodation and tuition fees up front (Where required, 2 didn't have tuition fees), After that it was up to them to manage on thier student loan

Youngest came home last weekend, and picked up her own train fare, I did pay my own petrol for picking her up from the station...

Doesn't seem to have done any of them any harm

I would agree with the suggestion that he gets a part time job to subsidise his social life. By all means give him a small allowance towards travel and course materials but from my experience give him too much and he will never learn the value of money. And don't listen to him saying working would not give him enough time to study; I worked 16-20 hours a week during term time (full time in holidays) on a science course with up to 25 contact hours per week and still came out with a 1st class degree. The only exception could be medicine but I presume that is not the case when he is in Penrith.