Money Money Money

what are your "his & hers" arrangements?

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26/11/2010 at 15:17
M.ister W wrote (see)
Torque Steer wrote (see)
M.ister W wrote (see)
Say you're married to someone who isn't good with money but is wonderful in every other way.  Would you trust them with the finances?  Marriage isn't about sharing equally.  It's about working to your strengths and allowing your partner to work to his or hers.

So the dominant partner always gets his/her own way?? Good way to the divorce courts.

What's this thing about being good with money? You don't have it, you don't spend it. When you do have it you spend carefully on what is needed. It ain't rocket science - or economics!!

Actually I withdraw that last remark - it's a lot more sensible than economics..................

You live in some sort of dream world where no-one gets into debt and people only spend what they earn.  Yes, that's how I behave but it certainly isn't how everyone behaves and you're stupid if you think they do.

It's not about one partner being dominant.  It's about recognising that some people aren't good at some things.  There's stuff I'm not good at so I'm happy for Pink to do those things.  Equally, there are things Pink isn't good at so I do them.

Actually I live and work in a harsh reality world where stupidity is frowned on quite severely.
it has been interesting watching tales unfold of how past experiences have coloured one's perception of current life and I can sympathise with those who have gone through those difficulties.
Attitudes to debt are certainly different now but it is perhaps time, if the lessons have not been learned already over the last couple of years, for people to take a more conservative approach to debt and finance generally

As JeremyG said
As for being no good with money it's not difficult really ie don't spend more than you have! Took me a while to learn and proper budgetting has really helped me

It is nearly the time of year for Mr Micawber ........................................

26/11/2010 at 16:02

I agree, it should be time for people to face up to the realities of financial irresponsibility but I don't think everyone is.

It's interesting that you mention Mr Micawber as he was supported by his wife while being financially irresponsible.  His story might have been different if his wife had taken control of the family finances.

26/11/2010 at 17:28

We have a bank account in my name that his wages and pension get paid into monthly. All the household bills come out of that. There's a sum left over by the middle of the month that we share for spending money. My weekly wages go into another account, again only in my name, that we use for grocery shopping. There's not usually much left by Saturday morning.

We have both joint and individual savings accounts. Rattler knows the PINs for all accounts, but is shite at managaing money. We had some issues several years ago around money, which is why he no longer has his name on the accounts. He earns, between pension, salary and disability payments considerably more than I do.

He's currently got the housekeeping bank card and is heading to Sainsburys.

27/11/2010 at 16:06

Hubby and I have one joint current account and one joint savings account.  We have seperate credit cards but only so that we can buy each other things for Christmas and Birthdays without spoiling the surprise.  We don't hide the statements from each other so it is up to me if I want to find out what store he has brought my present from.  The rest of the year we usually glance at each others statements so that we have an idea of how much money to keep in the current account.

He earns about twice what I earn.  My money basically pays the mortgage (ie. the mortgage payment goes out after my pay day and there isn't much left), so we live on Hubby's money for everything else.

Last summer there was the possibility that Hubby would have to give up work due to ill health.  Luckily he has pulled through and continues to work.  But now I am in the position of facing redundancy in the new year.

Having joint accounts meant that when he was too ill to talk about finances, I was able to assess what we needed to do to survive on one income.  I wouldn't have made any changes without discussing it with him, but I could do the research into our options.  If we had had seperate accounts then that would have been a lot more difficult.

Now that it is my job that is threatened, I am in the position of possibly having to live on his money only.  Knowing that we trust each other completely, it isn't an issue.  I don't have to worry about whether he will resent me taking 'his' money.

I agree with others that it would be a different issue if Hubby couldn't handle money.

27/11/2010 at 16:29
Been married 33 years, Mrs OT rules with a rod of  iron, she checks me pocket fluff on a regular basis !
27/11/2010 at 19:41
If I ask nicely I can have money for Panini football stickers.

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