Tell me about yours.

21 to 40 of 52 messages
07/03/2013 at 17:44
It's just like Valentine's Day. Another chance to part you from your cash.

If Jr can't show me how much he appreciates what I do for him when I do it, then I don't wanna know. There shouldn't be a date in the diary for children to show how much they value their parents.

I had a bad relationship with my Mother and if what she did was happening today, I reckon my brother and I would have been taken into care due to child cruelty as I think there is a greater awareness of 'those things' now than there was 30-35 years ago.

The repercussions still permeate through the family even now, so no I don't miss her and don't mourn her passing
Edited: 07/03/2013 at 17:45
07/03/2013 at 18:33

MY mum is completely bonkers - kind of from another planet.  However I love her dearly but maybe just can't spend too much time with her.  I know she often wonders where the hell she got me from but still loves me anyway.

Ultra AJH    pirate
07/03/2013 at 18:45

My mum died when I was 7. I dont miss her more on mothers day more than any other day. I would make an effort to spoil her if she was here.....

or maybe we wouldn't get on at all.

Who knows

07/03/2013 at 18:56
My mother will be spoiling herself in Cuba for Mother's Day.

She's pleased not to be home because she's fallen out with my sister. Apparently her other daughter doesn't matter.
07/03/2013 at 19:22

I get on with Mother of Muttley perfectly well. We talk by phone every couple of days and I'm heading down to see her next weekend.

Which is late for Mother's Day but just right for a favourite local half marathon; she understands

As far as I'm concerned she can do anything she likes. If it weren't for her I wouldn't exist.

07/03/2013 at 19:24
I miss my mum all the time. She was great.
07/03/2013 at 19:28

my mum left when i was 14, i went into care, lived with my estranged father a few months then left there a week after my 16th b'day. i don't see either of them out of choice 

this mothers day i am running my first 10k event, then being spoiled by my 2 daughters  who are 16 and 11

my mother had issues , but i learned how not to parent and love being a mum to my lil ladies , 

i don't miss her, its hard to miss something you didn't really have , even though she was there  - if that makes sense !


LIVERBIRD    pirate
07/03/2013 at 19:37

You can certainly learn how to be a better parent from a bad childhood by NOT continuing the cycle Curlytwig. What happened to you sounds awful but it seems that you're getting it right with yours.

I kind of agree with Schmunks that it's a bit of a Clinton's day, but my kids DO need reminding to spoil me once in a while.

seren nos    pirate
07/03/2013 at 19:39

I won't get much becuase my kids have to get anything they want.......look for it , buy it, wrap it etc.........

don't see the point once they have passed a certain age for parents to buy for them......I am not my husbands mother........

07/03/2013 at 19:42
Tip my hat to Curlytwig.
07/03/2013 at 19:48

Mine's 83, we don't have any sort of normal relationship and never have, for all sorts of unhappy reasons I won't go into.  I neither love her nor even like her.   She has a mythical daughter in her head who she boasts about to her friends, who bears no relation to me.  God knows how she glossed over my first marriage breaking down or me being made redundant.  When the latter happened there was a crashing silence.  Three months later she put a PS in my birthday card asking if I'd got a new job yet. Then when she heard I was working she phoned endlessly, wanting unimporant details about how long it took me to get there and how much it paid so she could go back to boasting to her friends.  None of the questions were about what it had been like having the rug pulled out from under me, or whether or not I was happy in the new job.

She moved to the middle of nowhere in Scotland when she was 55 knowing it would be reasonably impractical for me to get there from the opposite end of the country.  I've only visited twice, and that was more than enough after the first half hour.  Now she's the age she is, I'm supposed to feel different.  I don't.   I sent a Mother's Day card because my conscience wouldn't let me do otherwise, but TBH that took some doing.  I divorced my first husband who I'd actually made promises to, so why can't I be free of this horrible distructive relationship I never asked for after nearly 50 years of it?

Dave, back of on this one no matter how much water has flowed under the bridge between you two on different issues.  Whatever it was this is waaay bigger and you'll never understand in a million years.

07/03/2013 at 19:57

(thanks for nice comments) my little one likes to buy stuff, i like them doing nice things for me  - the older one i  asked to straighten my hair  - its very curly  - takes ages  lol  - the little one will make gallons of tea as she learned to last year at brownies  - she doesn't always make it well  but i drink it 

it is a bit of a clintons day  - my 2 would be dissapointed if they didn't get do something for me 

i just hope its not pooring with rain for the running festival 

07/03/2013 at 20:01
I think it may be a bit of a Clintons Day but i think a lot of stuff goes along with it, like thinking about your mum and your relationship and doing something out of the ordinary for her. I think you should do all that while she's still around, because one day it will be too late to.
07/03/2013 at 20:04

some sad tales on here  nice for people though who have good relationships with their mothers, just shows though, its not all natural bonding and life long friendships 

cherish the moments  you can with those you love xxx 

LIVERBIRD    pirate
07/03/2013 at 20:07

Curlytwig, you should see what mine have "made" me over the years. I always hear the smoke alarm go off when they're "making" the toast

Hashie - Mothers are extremely complex, aren't they? Mine told me today she thinks we have "so much in common". I really idenitfy with what you said.

We have NOTHING in common except DNA and I wonder about even that....

08/03/2013 at 07:26
My mum and I are too similar and I see myself adopting her habits unconsciously (both good and bad). I have a good relationship with her and could tell her anything. She's gone through a lot in her life and I can see how it affects her. She was brought up by a strict Yorkshire woman who didn't know the meaning of love - just how to use a wooden spoon to beat them.

She hates birthdays, Christmas etc. I've sent her a card but she'll not open it. it'll be left on the mantelpiece. she knows that I've done it and its the thought that's there.
LIVERBIRD    pirate
21/03/2013 at 10:47
My mum said yesterday 'I know deep down you really worry about your dad' and before I could stop myself I told the truth.....
'Actually, I DON'T worry too much about a man who was both physically and emotionally sadistic and who is now desperately ill through ALL fault of his own and refuses medical help routinely but is also terrified of dying'.

I worry about my kids. Who are far more important to me.

Should've lied though. She sounded really hurt. Because like Hashie, the person she thinks is her daughter is made up in her head.
22/03/2013 at 16:00

I was not close to my mother.  So I don't miss her although I am living in her house and I am joint executor and will benefit when I finally sort it and sell it - I do sometimes think she understood - her mother made her what she was by always favouring my Uncle then when Grandma realised her mistake she reversed the behaviour with her Grandkids.  My mother never sorted her head out so wasn't capable of some of the emotional support children need - so the distance was always there, and some things are difficult for me - but I am in my forties now I can choose to deal with it.


26/03/2013 at 09:41

I was thinking about this only last night.

Did my mother make me the way I am?  Or would I have been exactly the same if we'd had a better relationship? 

When I was little and didn't want to eat all my meal, she would tell me that when she was a child, if she didn't finish her food HER father would bring the plate back out at the next meal, until it was eaten.

So why did she perpetuate forcing children to eat when they have had enough?  If I HAD had any children, I'm damn sure I would not have forced them to eat food they didn't want, because I remember how I hated it.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
27/03/2013 at 07:20
Interesting question about 'did your mother make you who you are' Wilkie.
I can't answer that.
But I do know that if you give a child a choice, they'll never eat the stuff that's actually nutritious. They will choose the high fat sugar and salt stuff that contribute to obesity. They simply don't THINK in a consequential manner. I asked mine this question and they admitted they would eat NO fruit and vegetables if I didn't insist on it. If a child is complaining that they've eaten enough, that's a very different thing from simply refusing to eat what's good for them. You shouldn't over face your kids but you as a parent have a duty to ensure that you raise them with good eating habits so they can make informed choices as adults. Studies have shown that toddlers are programmed to reject 'green food' because their brains process it as poisonous. They need to be TAUGHT that it isn't.
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