Mine's 83, we don't have any sort of normal relationship and never have, for all sorts of unhappy reasons I won't go into. I neither love her nor even like her. She has a mythical daughter in her head who she boasts about to her friends, who bears no relation to me. God knows how she glossed over my first marriage breaking down or me being made redundant. When the latter happened there was a crashing silence. Three months later she put a PS in my birthday card asking if I'd got a new job yet. Then when she heard I was working she phoned endlessly, wanting unimporant details about how long it took me to get there and how much it paid so she could go back to boasting to her friends. None of the questions were about what it had been like having the rug pulled out from under me, or whether or not I was happy in the new job.
She moved to the middle of nowhere in Scotland when she was 55 knowing it would be reasonably impractical for me to get there from the opposite end of the country. I've only visited twice, and that was more than enough after the first half hour. Now she's the age she is, I'm supposed to feel different. I don't. I sent a Mother's Day card because my conscience wouldn't let me do otherwise, but TBH that took some doing. I divorced my first husband who I'd actually made promises to, so why can't I be free of this horrible distructive relationship I never asked for after nearly 50 years of it?
Dave, back of on this one no matter how much water has flowed under the bridge between you two on different issues. Whatever it was this is waaay bigger and you'll never understand in a million years.
