Mothers

I was very lucky, I had a wonderful mother in whose eyes I was just perfect (I'm not of course) and she supported me whatever I did. Never recognized it at the time of course but as a young teenager wanting special new shoes or clothes I didn't realize how much she went without in order for my brother and I to have what we wanted. We had a great childhood, Dad was also a super parent, money was tight but he worked lots of overtime so that the family could have a fortnight's summer holiday somewhere on the coast, and took us kids to lots of sports events right from when we were small. I credit our parents for both of us growing up with sports, me in athletics (now triathlon) and Bruv playing football from the age of 7 until his late 40s.

I was thinking about this only last night.

Did my mother make me the way I am?  Or would I have been exactly the same if we'd had a better relationship? 

When I was little and didn't want to eat all my meal, she would tell me that when she was a child, if she didn't finish her food HER father would bring the plate back out at the next meal, until it was eaten.

So why did she perpetuate forcing children to eat when they have had enough?  If I HAD had any children, I'm damn sure I would not have forced them to eat food they didn't want, because I remember how I hated it.

LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

 Studies have shown that toddlers are programmed to reject 'green food' because their brains process it as poisonous. They need to be TAUGHT that it isn't.

And the way they are programmed to learn what's safe to eat, is by seeing you eating it, so the way to get toddlers to eat green stuff is to eat it in front of them, a lot, with real enjoyment.

MikeFrog wrote (see)

LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

 Studies have shown that toddlers are programmed to reject 'green food' because their brains process it as poisonous. They need to be TAUGHT that it isn't.

And the way they are programmed to learn what's safe to eat, is by seeing you eating it, so the way to get toddlers to eat green stuff is to eat it in front of them, a lot, with real enjoyment.

When my nephew was younger; my mum used to puree up veggies to get him used to it from the first tastes of solid food. She used to use homegrown 'fresh' veg and the colour was amazing. He loved it because the colours were vibrant and the taste was sweet. I think getting them when they're young with the freshest food is vital. Who wants to eat 10 day old cauliflower anyway?

LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

Interesting question about 'did your mother make you who you are' 

Simple answer yes parents do make you who you are, but our behaviour works the opposite way, as parents can be held responsible for the behaviour of a child we spend half our lives responding back as adults, so parents behaviour can be altered too.

My mother died 14 years ago today.

RIP.

For some reason my parents deserted me and my siblings. I was six years old when they climbed into a car and without a word, drove off.

Our questions (to grand-parents) were met with silence. I mean, how upset can you get. I felt like I'd swallowed a grapefruit whole. I got used to the idea they were gone forever after a week or so. You run out of tears.

Several weeks later they returned with some excuse but it made no difference, As far as I was concerned, they were dead. 

I look after my mother out of duty not affection. She's in hospital right now and wondering why the staff seem to avoid her. I would suggest that constant demands, questions and complaints might have everything to do with it.

She's terminal. But from my point of view its just postponed since 1967.

There are no words really Ric.

I think that's one of the saddest stories I've ever read on here.