Mothers

Tell me about yours.

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Bionic Ironwolf    pirate
26/03/2013 at 09:28

I was very lucky, I had a wonderful mother in whose eyes I was just perfect (I'm not of course) and she supported me whatever I did. Never recognized it at the time of course but as a young teenager wanting special new shoes or clothes I didn't realize how much she went without in order for my brother and I to have what we wanted. We had a great childhood, Dad was also a super parent, money was tight but he worked lots of overtime so that the family could have a fortnight's summer holiday somewhere on the coast, and took us kids to lots of sports events right from when we were small. I credit our parents for both of us growing up with sports, me in athletics (now triathlon) and Bruv playing football from the age of 7 until his late 40s.

26/03/2013 at 09:41

I was thinking about this only last night.

Did my mother make me the way I am?  Or would I have been exactly the same if we'd had a better relationship? 

When I was little and didn't want to eat all my meal, she would tell me that when she was a child, if she didn't finish her food HER father would bring the plate back out at the next meal, until it was eaten.

So why did she perpetuate forcing children to eat when they have had enough?  If I HAD had any children, I'm damn sure I would not have forced them to eat food they didn't want, because I remember how I hated it.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
27/03/2013 at 07:20
Interesting question about 'did your mother make you who you are' Wilkie.
I can't answer that.
But I do know that if you give a child a choice, they'll never eat the stuff that's actually nutritious. They will choose the high fat sugar and salt stuff that contribute to obesity. They simply don't THINK in a consequential manner. I asked mine this question and they admitted they would eat NO fruit and vegetables if I didn't insist on it. If a child is complaining that they've eaten enough, that's a very different thing from simply refusing to eat what's good for them. You shouldn't over face your kids but you as a parent have a duty to ensure that you raise them with good eating habits so they can make informed choices as adults. Studies have shown that toddlers are programmed to reject 'green food' because their brains process it as poisonous. They need to be TAUGHT that it isn't.
LIVERBIRD    pirate
27/03/2013 at 07:23
And I was force fed as a child sometimes until I was sick by my father who would jam open my mouth. Now THAT was quite traumatic. He tried the 'you'll sit there until its gone' and then resorted to force and violence.
27/03/2013 at 08:09
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)
 Studies have shown that toddlers are programmed to reject 'green food' because their brains process it as poisonous. They need to be TAUGHT that it isn't.


And the way they are programmed to learn what's safe to eat, is by seeing you eating it, so the way to get toddlers to eat green stuff is to eat it in front of them, a lot, with real enjoyment.

27/03/2013 at 08:14
*chews leftover pork pie thoughtfully*
27/03/2013 at 08:19
MikeFrog wrote (see)
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)
 Studies have shown that toddlers are programmed to reject 'green food' because their brains process it as poisonous. They need to be TAUGHT that it isn't.


And the way they are programmed to learn what's safe to eat, is by seeing you eating it, so the way to get toddlers to eat green stuff is to eat it in front of them, a lot, with real enjoyment.

When my nephew was younger; my mum used to puree up veggies to get him used to it from the first tastes of solid food. She used to use homegrown 'fresh' veg and the colour was amazing. He loved it because the colours were vibrant and the taste was sweet. I think getting them when they're young with the freshest food is vital. Who wants to eat 10 day old cauliflower anyway?

27/03/2013 at 10:02
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)
Interesting question about 'did your mother make you who you are' 
Simple answer yes parents do make you who you are, but our behaviour works the opposite way, as parents can be held responsible for the behaviour of a child we spend half our lives responding back as adults, so parents behaviour can be altered too.
28/03/2013 at 11:40

My mother died 14 years ago today.

RIP.

29/03/2013 at 00:02
My Mum had an op on Tuesday to have a lump removed from her breast. Now we wait for test results to find out how it went. She has been very positive about 'catching it early' etc in the few weeks since finding the lump. She's spent the last few years ferrying my Dad back and forth to hospital but unfortunately he's not well enough to do it for her.

Thinking about it, she's such a glass half empty person it's quite funny that she's putting on this positive spin. Hopefully she's right.
Edited: 29/03/2013 at 00:03
29/03/2013 at 07:53
This is quite a sad thread.

The older I get, and the older my children get, the more I forgive my mother for everything I ever blamed her for. She wasn't perfect and she wasn't superhuman, she was just doing her best, same as we all do.

Good luck Womble. Your mother is protecting her children. Faced with the same situation mine did the same, and so did I. What else are you spposed to do?
29/03/2013 at 13:18
And as a mother myself, I haven't yet told my my children about their Gran's illness. I'm waiting until something like 'the answer' is available. They are 22 and 19 but obviously I still feel very protective towards them.
29/03/2013 at 18:27

For some reason my parents deserted me and my siblings. I was six years old when they climbed into a car and without a word, drove off.

Our questions (to grand-parents) were met with silence. I mean, how upset can you get. I felt like I'd swallowed a grapefruit whole. I got used to the idea they were gone forever after a week or so. You run out of tears.

Several weeks later they returned with some excuse but it made no difference, As far as I was concerned, they were dead. 

I look after my mother out of duty not affection. She's in hospital right now and wondering why the staff seem to avoid her. I would suggest that constant demands, questions and complaints might have everything to do with it.

She's terminal. But from my point of view its just postponed since 1967.

30/03/2013 at 07:08
RicF, that's an astonishing story and I hardly know what to say, your pain is tangible.

A very sad thread indeed.
LIVERBIRD    pirate
01/04/2013 at 09:56

There are no words really Ric.

I think that's one of the saddest stories I've ever read on here.


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