never thought I'd be a victim

bullying in the workplace

21 to 40 of 51 messages
04/08/2012 at 18:26
Agreed. If you're someone's manager of a fortnight's standing, it's a business relationship. It's as creepy and inappropriate as suggesting they could be a "friend" to you
04/08/2012 at 18:51

There may be two sides but as BBH said the 'you don't want to make an enemy of me' comment swings it a long way in one direction even without the other side of the story

Regardless of the outcome mimaduck I would aim to get out whatever changes are made to agency employment regulation agency workes will by some be seen as easy targets with less rights as permenant staff

04/08/2012 at 20:04

Hash you say a Manager of a Fortnight do you know this to be true, nothing in the thread suggests a length of service, but if that is the case it's very strange indeed.

No manager has to force someone out after such a short time, they would simply pick up the phone if dissatisfied and say please do not send this person again, any agency that wanted to keep the relationship would simply do this, regardless of the change in law


04/08/2012 at 20:04

Mimaduck probably best all around to walk away

04/08/2012 at 20:43
Graham yes to knowing it's a fortnight (or is it a week?). Mima and I natter on another thread.
05/08/2012 at 07:17

Two weeks!! have to say it appears that either there is a massive problem, however without doubt it's with the Manager, no need or excuse for that behaviour.

All he/she has to do is speak with the agency and anyone can be removed, without reason, forget the legalities. If he is continuing with the actions mentioned he is either without any understanding or possibly enjoying the issue.

In this situation I would simply gather information, be polite but factual in meetings or discussions and speak to the agency telling them in the nicest possible way that they had put me in an untenable position, asking them to look urgently into the next possible move.

The agency (if decent) once in possession of the facts will be morally obliged to find a suitable move, but if you're not careful in how you put it, they could see you as a troublesome appointment. When a suitable move is confirmed I would confront him/her about the behaviour and ask that HR are involved in the discussions. You will not get any recompense as despite what people say about the recent law change being worse for businesses in this case it can be explained away as simply unsuitable, but the behaviour should not go unnoticed and doing this could prevent it happening to others. There is a difference in what the law says and what can happen in reality, but taking control is the best way to exit

05/08/2012 at 08:21

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

...Thats what my mummy taught me!

poor little dears

05/08/2012 at 09:04

Or as Rhianna says - sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me?

I think Factual is good - to get to the bottom of the situation and clear up the facts of whtat's going on. Mima needs to show her opinion and when the Manager is there he can post his side of the story.

In a professional environment; using phrases like: you dont want to make an enemy of me - is never appropriate.

05/08/2012 at 10:10

My advice to anyone who has a problem with a manager (I'm a union rep) is to always email them immediately after a contentious meeting or encounter.

"Dear John, thank you for the conversation we had just now in the canteen. As I recall, you said that you will do xxxx if I don't do xxxx. Please confirm that this is the case."

Competent managers, if they've done nothing wrong, will recognize warning signs that they're being misunderstood or manipulated; bullying managers might pause for thought. It also starts an email chain that can be referred to in future if necessary.

06/08/2012 at 10:15
Agree with a lot of that. Unless a phrase is shown in context then it doesn't mean anything. I think Muttley's advice is more helpful than the "lets nail the bastard" rants.
06/08/2012 at 10:46

@Mimaduck - how was the meeting today?

@Muttley - thats a good bit of advice for others in that situation. Would there be any experiences when you wouldnt recommend that action?

06/08/2012 at 11:14

Thinking of you today mima.

06/08/2012 at 11:43

The worst advice on this thread was that if you feel you are being bullied, then you are. That's good for tea and sympathy but dangerous otherwise.

If you play that card at work you will very quickly be regarded as the office princess.

06/08/2012 at 16:17

Dreamtwister/Lardarse/Yifter/whatever you're calling yourself this week could you possibly feck off and troll somewhere else?   If you have a problem with what I wrote then please send me one of your trademark unpleasant PMs.  I'm big enough and ugly enough to not be bothered by it, but leave Mima alone, she's having a rough time and doesn't need this.

Hope it went okay today Mima

06/08/2012 at 19:07

evening all.

Meeting was ok - I sort of knew how it would go - most of what I wanted to say was taken out of context and I had to (for the sake of keeping my job and the peace) swallow it and just accept what he was saying. The one good thing is he is no longer my line manager and I report to someone else.

Muttley - I have no intention of being the "office princess" and I am far from it - but when everything I do (and I've done it properly) is critised, when I'm told in front of the entire office that "you haven't a clue what you're talking about" and "if its too hard for you I'll get xxx to do it (the administrator)" combined with verbally threatening me and getting extremely pissy when I refused to go for a drink after work...all of that amounts to at the least unpleasant behaviour/unnecessary picking on.

However - I have a message from an agency who have found my CV and they think my skill set matches a role they want to fill - calling them back tomorrow and we'll see what happens.

06/08/2012 at 19:18
Hash wrote (see)

Dreamtwister/Lardarse/Yifter/whatever you're calling yourself this week could you possibly feck off and troll somewhere else?   If you have a problem with what I wrote then please send me one of your trademark unpleasant PMs.  I'm big enough and ugly enough to not be bothered by it, but leave Mima alone, she's having a rough time and doesn't need this.

Hope it went okay today Mima

Well said mate....

Mima...some of those phrases sound a bit like what i have at work..but my boss says them in banter. Yours sounds a step beyond that though. So stay strong, and don't let someone force you out...

i'll drop you a mail of something that's happening at my work, that i can't post that's a dodgy position, but may give you hope you're not as badly off!


06/08/2012 at 20:21

Mima you really have my sympathy, I stuck a job for a year and a half when to be honest I should have walked after 3 months.  if your face doesnt' fit, for whatever reason (and in my case, the manager was on an ego trip and wanted to surround himself with women he could flirt with and men who cowtailed to him and told him how fab he was), and the manager is unprofessional then it's a horrible environment.  I walked out when I couldn't take anymore and it had taken a huge toll on my mental  health.

I hope a new line manager will change things for you

06/08/2012 at 20:58

bosses who bully workers  should be banned from been bosses for life   they have no respect for anyone but them selfs

06/08/2012 at 21:30

I know what you mean kk...and I do see the point other people have made. I cannot begin to fathom what he is thinking, or why he felt the need to say what he has said.

I'm not about to back down from what I've said, he was/is bullying me, he changed when I refused to go for a drink with him and I know that I'm good at what I do.

Hopefully the meeting today will resolve some points and I can get on with my job - without any issues.

08/08/2012 at 09:15
I think Twister has made anough good points to warrant being heard. But if Hash or anyone else doesn't like it then use the ignore features. I also think MimaDuck is big enough to take care of herself on this Forum and doesn't need the big brother/get in your pants protection.
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