Parenting vs Running - Clubhouse

Zip

15/11/2006 at 16:43

Am about to become a first time dad in about a month and just wondered through your experiences how it affected your running. I appreciate that obviously time will be more limited and also sleepless nights may also be a factor but I would still like to have some ME time. Will this be possible or am I being selfish by thinking this way??? Please share your experiences and advice.

Lyra O'K

15/11/2006 at 16:55

Firstly, Zip, HUGE congratulations and best wishes to you and Ms Zip!!

Wasn't a runner when Lyra Junior was born (she's 4.5 now), but when babies are very little, they do sleep a fair bit during the day. You will need to work around little Miss or Master Zip to begin with until you can establish a bit of a routine.

You're certainly not being selfish! Especially as you will be providing your child with a healthy, fit role model in years to come.

All the best!
x

Night Nurse

15/11/2006 at 16:56

Zip, as long as you help out and share the sleepless nights AND allow new mummy HER ME time, you will get YOUR me time too, its all,about balance and sharing, enjoy being a parent.

Grendel

15/11/2006 at 17:06

Congratulations - the second best thing that ever happened to me after breaking 3 hours for the first time – (OH gets the hump over that comment as she thinks I should say meeting and marrying her!)

You each need to make time for yourself – but you need to bear in mind that OH will need support too – and will definitely need some me time herself so disappearing out of the door when you come home from work and she has had a cr*p day may not be appreciated. I don’t run anymore (although can jog) but that is more to do with a long term injury

Above all enjoy it – being dad is the brilliant experience (so is breaking 3 hours though)

Lyra O'K

15/11/2006 at 17:09

LOL at Grendel! As a runner, I understand that entirely. As a woman, I think OH is right to get the hump ;-)

Grendel

15/11/2006 at 17:16

In some way maybe you are right Lyra, but trained so hard for that and I never believed I would ever do that as I just didn’t have the natural talent for it – I suppose I always assumed I would get married and have children – I never thought I’d break 3 hours – it was such a high –

Totally off the subject so back on it

It is a brilliant experience and love being Dad despite the tears and tantrums (he's 3 now) and the sleepless nights and the nights in the spare bed with him because he wants to sleep in with me! - good luck again

Lyra O'K

15/11/2006 at 17:23

Grendel, there is somehow more conscious effort involved in running; with the whole conception, pregnancy, childbirth thing your body just does its thing. Running involves WAY more mental effort somehow. IMHO.

Found the 2nd and 3rd months of being a parent really tough - all those long car drives just trying to stop the crying! Apparently that is normal and when baby gets to 3 months old, things just seem to get easier.

Zip, have you thought about getting one of those prams you can run with?

Zip

15/11/2006 at 17:32

Yeah, have seen those things and they look quite good. I am sure that things willwork out and like you have said the key is balance and making sure that Mrs Zip and the baby take priority. It just annoys me when all I seem to hear is negative stuff like " Oh you wait till you have kids - you'll see" and "Oh thats your life over with now" blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong I know there will be some massive changes and extra stress all round but surely there will be windows of opportunity to get out the house. Isn't running the perfect stress relief anyway - thats my ecyse anyway!!! I am hoping to do FLM 2007 and having done it for the first time this year realise that it takes a huge amount of your time so maybe emulating Grendel sub 3 is out the question (Did 3.42). great advice though guy's much appreciated, especially from a womans perspective too.

The King

15/11/2006 at 17:38

No one can describe the utter joy of your

child giggling for the first time

taking their first steps (and you feeling so proud)

giving the magic kiss and making it all better (that worked for all of us)

"Mamma" or "Dadda" for the first time

the first smile at you (that is not wind)

you being able to stop the tears

and being so proud of your wife for giving you such a beautifil child.

Zip

15/11/2006 at 18:03

Thanks King...

easel

15/11/2006 at 20:36

kids are soo worth it. best and most scariest thing you will ever have. So sweet and snuggly! started to get my son running at 7 and he loves my daughter thinks its pointless to run your heart out for a poxy medal and not even a chocolate bar! she's 4 though so lots of attitude! and wants to be a doctor? bit scary!

Velociraptor

15/11/2006 at 21:04

Congratulations, Zip :o)

Carving out some me-time for both yourself and Mrs Zip should be straightforward provided you don't make the mistake of letting yourselves be outnumbered by your children ;o)

If you DO have to take some time off running to support Mrs Zip or because you're just plain exhausted, please hold on to the fact that it DOES get easier. It really does.

I've got 4 children and wasn't awake enough to run until the youngest was well past her third birthday.

XL-man

15/11/2006 at 21:17

Many, many congratulations.

One of my biggest running highs was crossing the line with my three year old at the end of the mini Great North Run. She managed the whole mile on her own two feet, and when she crossed the line I swept her up and felt tears in my eyes.

As has been said above, it's about balance. No reason at all why you can't find time for yourself as well as enjoying the joys of fatherhood and supporting Mrs Zip. And, if you can combine the two some day, it's magic.

Tri black hat

15/11/2006 at 21:20

Congratulations Zip!

When my kids were babies, i can remember getting really worried if DH wasnt home when he said he would be...i think motherhood brought out the anxiety in me! So, if you go out running, maybe stick to routes that are close to home, and tell Mrs Zip where you are going, and when you will be home, and then make sure you are....there is sometimes nothing worse than having a baby crying, for no good reason, and not knowing when daddy is coming home!

Enjoy your baby! It is such an exciting time!

Dark Vader pirate

pirate

16/11/2006 at 06:37

Zip.. your life is over...

The little buggers will drain you of all your energy.. empty your bank account.. deprive you of sleep.. you can forget ever having a sex life again.. your childless friends will stop calling.. your newly painted walls will have felt-tip pen srawled over them.. you will find baby sick on your clothes 30 seconds before you go to work, or (even worse) when you arrive at work.. you will understand just how far projectile vomit can travel in a car and just how much stitching your leather upholstery has when you try to clean out it.. your 4 year will ask in a clearly audible voice in Sainsburys "why is that lady fat?", pointing to the lady in the next aisle..

All these things and much, much more...

Is it worth it...??

Of course it is.. :)

I have two and wouldn't change these things for anything... :)

Best of luck.. run when you can, be flexible and maintain your sense of humour through it all...

:)

EdinburghKev

16/11/2006 at 07:21

Ahhh, the joy of being a dad for the first time. I went home after my little girl was born and had a shower and bubbled like a baby, I was so overcome with emotion.

For all those of us with 2 or more babies/toddlers/under 5's - How annoying is it to talk to new parents with one baby and they say how they have no time to do anything and are always tired!! You want to hold them by the shoulders and shout "GIVE ME A BREAK, YOU DONT KNOW HOW EASY YOU HAVE IT".

Phew, where did that come from? I'll get my coat.....

EdinburghKev

16/11/2006 at 07:24

I also wanted to say being a dad and trying your best is the true defenition of being a man.

Ms Pig

16/11/2006 at 07:39

What a lovely and funny thread.

Loved Dark Vaders comments!

Exactly how I would put it.

Stoat

16/11/2006 at 08:19

Couldn't agree more with all that has been said - its about finding a balance that suits you both, I can remember a torrid time when S3 was a baby and Mr S had nipped out for a pint(it was singular) and then pick up takeaway on Saturday night, she was driving me mad and in the end I snapped and rang him on mobile carping on about him being off enjoying himself and me at home etc etc - when I had finished ranting he calmly told me that he had been waiting for takeaway for half an hour and wasn't having much fun either!

That said I took up running when S3 was 6 monts old as way of getting fit now and just juggle my runs around rest of family - its harder now they are older as we have to fit round their social and sporting activities - I did get day pass out on Sunday to run Slog - no wonder I enjoyed it.

Best of luck - and enjoy them!!

Ms Pig

16/11/2006 at 09:09

I once rang my husband and held the phone to the screaming babe's face (for him to really appreciate) whilst I cried

'I CAN'T COPE ANYMORE'

Sadly his boss had answered it for him cause he was busy.

Apparently he just passed it straight to husband saying 'I think this is for you'