Regret: Girlfriends / Boyfriends / Partners / Friends

I don't mean regret of losing someone you wish you were with today though take it that way if you want.

Are you one of those people that say they are too busy to look backwards what is the point?  "Never go back physically or mentally......."

"Never say "Sorry". "Life's tough deal with it". "Saying sorry shows you are weak!"

"Leave the past in the past I am going to find the future!".

Is not saying "Sorry" a male or female prerogative?

OR

Do you have real regrets and know YOU treated somebody shabbily?

Have you gone out of your way to say sorry to somebody that you know YOU treated badly?

Has somebody you thought treated you badly actually come back and said "Sorry" with apparently no ulterior motive?

Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)

Je Ne Regrette Rien

No. I have never treated anyone "shabbily" and have always been honest enough and tactful enough with people at the time not to have had to go back and say sorry.

Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)

Je Ne Regrette Rien

Who's Rien?

Oh, and no I haven't treated anyone shabbily.

My last girlfriend was very upset when I dumped her, she cried a lot and nearly vomited. I did my best to let her down gently, and I wonder if I could have done a better job, but she would have been upset whatever I'd said.

Yes I have treated people shabbily, when I was a bit younger I didn't see much other than me, and yes I regret it. What made me think about it was, I met one person by chance and she confronted me with it all, which was uncomfortable but turned out well really. I met another and I brought up the old issues, that one did not go well. Maybe it's me but the answer is don't treat people badly

So many people have instances of being treated badly yet most people would say they always treat people well.

Perhaps it is just a case of there being no nice way of giving people bad news or saying that they are wrong!

However I think it is true to say that some people are downright clumsy and insensitive.

We don't really see ourselves as others' see us.

Regrets? I have a few.  But there again, too few to mention.

Xyloid wrote (see)

Regrets? I have a few.  But there again, too few to mention.

Yes, a song that I have always interpreted as having selfish lyrics. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Don Corleone's epitaph!

i have, and continue to treat people shabbily. trying to mend it but that almost inevitably makes it worse.

I never have, but I managed to drift out of touch with someone I dated briefly. I'm pretty sure it was mutual as neither of us made the effort to get in touch...

...but I still have a book she lent me and I feel a bit guilty every time I see it on my shelf! I can't get rid of it either, even though we clearly aren't going to see each other for me to give it back.

Martenkay wrote (see)

So many people have instances of being treated badly yet most people would say they always treat people well.

Perhaps it is just a case of there being no nice way of giving people bad news or saying that they are wrong!

However I think it is true to say that some people are downright clumsy and insensitive.

We don't really see ourselves as others' see us.

Someone pm'd that she thought the more aggressive individuals that we can all recognise around us are very likely to have "caused upset" among those they come into contact with over time but mentally "they run away" from the "mess" they cause and explain it away as just moving on.

She reckons very few people say sorry these days which was certainly my thought.
Surprisingly, she thinks that her sex do see it as a prerogative not to offer a 'sorry' Hmmm...

You know, though, if someone had treated me badly (in my view) and then came back later to say sorry, I'd probably be more annoyed, not less. I'd see it as the person wanting to feel better about him/herself by thinking 'I'm the sort of person who admits to my mistakes and says sorry, even if it takes me a long time' rather than doing it for my benefit.

Literatin,

I take your point as that was part of my thinking in my opening post                    "with apparently no ulterior motive".                                                                       e.g. as my pm wrote an aggressive individual, (such as an ambitious boss) might make a big thing of it to show his boss that he was really a good guy.

On the other hand I think one would need to listen to what was being said and judge at the time if any person's apology was sincere. There can be a lot of emotional entanglement with a former romantic relationship. Why has he/she turned up now?

Martenkay wrote (see)

There can be a lot of emotional entanglement with a former romantic relationship. Why has he/she turned up now?

i did track someone down to apologise once.

she was pleased to see me, accepted the apology and we ended up in bed together.

I left the next morning and never contacted her again.

Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)

I tracked someone down after 27 years so she could apologise to me !

and did she?!

Marten, I see what you mean, but I don't think wanting to make yourself feel better necessarily is an 'ulterior motive' for an apology, at least not a conscious one. It's just if I were in that situation I wouldn't see what good an apology would do me as the wronged party. I'd either be angry or totally indifferent. If the person had done something and I didn't understand why, then (if I still cared) an explanation might be welcome, but an apology not especially.

Yes l have. Women love a bastard

Xyloid wrote (see)

Regrets? I have a few.  But there again, too few to mention.

Dreadful line. You mention your regrets then say they're too few to mention? Why mention them then?