Relationships and a disapproving OH?

21 to 31 of 31 messages
02/07/2012 at 12:47

you are asking a runners forum who already accept/understand that your mileage is the norm for an eager athlete.  But many non runners would view 40hrs running a week as a ridiculous amount.  People i work with think my 40m or so a week as too much and how do i find time to do anything else.    Maybe you need to have a chat to get him to understand that you are not out "jogging" and need to train this amount.

also if you are doing all the gym, running and work what quality time have you left aside for each other?  He might feel he gets all the leftovers and is way down on your priorities.   

JvR
02/07/2012 at 13:29

When do you do your training? Does it affect the amount of time that you spend with him?

02/07/2012 at 19:40

JVR? How could that level of training not reduce the available time!?  Even if she made use of lunches, a fair chunk would surely have to be fitted in after work and weekends...

Dean, I think even elites would see 40 hours a week running too much

First loser, sounds like you have a fairly intense training plan there....not just the running, but cycling, and then the gym on top! I can see why a completely non sporty keen boyfriend would feel slighted!

I've seen the situation in reverse you see... i was trying to do an equal amount of exercise as you (all in running, not the cycling/gym), same full time job, AND trying to shoe horn in 70mile round trips to see an ex 2-3times a week.

Probably in hindsight it's not a surprise that didn't last.

Tricky for you though, what's more important, the lifestyle or the bloke?

05/07/2012 at 14:42
First Loser wrote (see)

Stevie G - Hitting 40 miles a week running. 25 miles biking and gym sessions inbetween, plus a 35 hour work/Uni week. And yes, I've always spent roughly the same amount of time on training.

Well First Loser I run 38-40 miles a week cycle to and from work most days and that equals about 42-50 miles a week and I have a full time job where I work shifts anytime between 9am and 9:30pm, weekends included. I manage to do that and still have hours to just lounge around like now, see friends, amuse them as I get drunk on one pint and do all the other "social" stuff. I am sure you do too.

If I had a "significant other" I cannot see my training getting in the way unless they wanted to see me most evenings or all the time during weekends. Even then it would be work not my running that would stop that happening.

Is this what he wants?

 

 

 

05/07/2012 at 14:47
Easy.Does.It wrote (see)

I love the peace 'n' quiet I get when my Missis is away on a training run, and the odd weekend she disapears with her running club to run Man Versus Horse, or the Snodonia Marathon is bliss; me and the Little Un' get kebabs to eat and stay up late and watch DVDs.

Class.

Love this story!

Mum brings home medals, Dad brings home kebabs.

A thoroughly modern family

05/07/2012 at 21:23

Maybe you've hit THE point in your relationship... you know... the one where the honeymooney period ends and the pink sunglasses come off and you see each other the way you actually are. Usually at this point people break up if they feel they are not what they wanted. Is this THE point?

 

My OH was moaning about my running a little while, he kept saying we don't have enough time for each other as I'm always running. But he was always there when I was racing. 5 years on and we live separate lives. We have our own hobbies but work hard to find time for each other. Things have been hard for the past couple of years but recently they have taken turn for the better.

And he has started running too.


So it can work out, you just need to work out if its for you.

06/07/2012 at 09:14

The first post brought out  a lot of sympathy for the OP, myself included but I must admit the level of training being done doesn't leave a lot of quality time for a relationship.

What I see fromthis discussion is that the OP feels the need to discuss it on here rather than with her OH and doesn't seem to offer any solutions bar inviting him to watch her next event. Not a marriage made in heaven.

 

Edited: 06/07/2012 at 09:15
07/07/2012 at 21:59

I have been single all my life and just love it     trouble free

07/07/2012 at 22:37
Stephen E Forde wrote (see)
 

If I had a "significant other" I cannot see my training getting in the way unless they wanted to see me most evenings or all the time during weekends. Even then it would be work not my running that would stop that happening.

The thing is, that what is enough at first, ie seeing you a couple of times a week, certainly won't be enough if it gets serious...

A married pal said to me once, you have to have the mindset, that you're not trying to fit them into your life, it's that they BECOME your life.

I'm not convinced i could ever see another person becoming my whole life...that sounds kind of worrying!

08/07/2012 at 07:01
Stevia g - that does sound worrying! Is that friend still married or is there a restraining order in place?!
08/07/2012 at 08:30
Stevie G . wrote (see)
 

A married pal said to me once, you have to have the mindset, that you're not trying to fit them into your life, it's that they BECOME your life.


I think that's a mistake, and harmful to a marriage


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