Runner's World novel.

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Dark Vader    pirate
06/10/2012 at 20:42

... said someone...


06/10/2012 at 20:45

.....called the Rev Pat from a USA bible show....

Dark Vader    pirate
06/10/2012 at 20:52

The Lord said to me...  give me $20 milion by the weekend and all your sins will be forgotten....

So...  I got out my credit card...

The card number is   4647 7685 9990 0123   and the CSV number is 138

Suddenly something happened....

06/10/2012 at 20:55

---and his trousers were wet....


06/10/2012 at 21:04

....clouds parted and a deep voice said "shit only happens in Americay"... 

06/10/2012 at 21:05

You just have, but what has this to do with the price of bread?

06/10/2012 at 21:42

What running clothes should I wear for a race four weeks time in this unpredictable climate?

06/10/2012 at 22:39

Which is a very strange question for a duck.

07/10/2012 at 08:07 which a voice boomed out loud "wear the orange shorts..."

Nurse Ratched    pirate
07/10/2012 at 09:43

...............with the Wonderbra and the wellies"

07/10/2012 at 10:03

Meanwhile the Rev Pat had been working all night, you could tell by the surgical loops perched sat at the end of his nose. He had already taken breakfast at Pax next to Central Park and completed a 20 mile recovery run at 5 min miling through the park because he was a real runner. Now he was sat on a bench eating jello staring at Trump Tower with bright eyes. Had he really heard a reference last night to "illuminous shit" this could go big time in night time USA if it hit the fan. The environmental possibilities were endless (Facebook eat your heart out). The Man in the tower would understand........

Edited: 07/10/2012 at 10:04
07/10/2012 at 10:09

..although mere mortals would just wander by in a confussed daze. So what? To usurp the fabric of society, rip apart it's benign moral codes and chew them up without hesitation before anyone could say "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" let alone spell it, would be a coup among all coups. (which isn't somewhere where you keep chickens btw)...

07/10/2012 at 17:39

But he did keep chickens as he had a small holding of which he was very..................

08/10/2012 at 11:45

jealous. The living standards of the animals far exceeded the squalor in which he resided. Despite his wealth he found that he felt compelled to keep every item that came into his possession. As such, his million pound mansion was stuffed to the gills with empty milk bottles (the milkman was not happy...), a tower of cardboard tubes from long gone toilet rolls and a veritable mountain of receipts from his weekly Tesco grocery shopping. His greatest fear was that one day he would be crushed to death by the weight of....................

Edited: 08/10/2012 at 11:45
08/10/2012 at 12:01

the piles of newspapers, junk mail and cardboard which he told his manservant Clifford he was saving for recycling. This of course, was a lie. Clifford and the other staff knew only too well the recycling came fortnightly for paper and cardboard; that amount far exceeded 2 week's worth. Moreover, Clifford recognised the signs of a serial hoarder since his time in...........

08/10/2012 at 12:01

his expectations - ever since he was a little girl the pressure had mounted and since the operation he felt that he was likely to blow apart. Being a transgender boy wizard was just not what he thought it would ...............................................

08/10/2012 at 15:14

be,but then again it could be worse....

08/10/2012 at 15:26

At least he never had a bad hair day, being bald and all that. His collection of wigs and hats, for the days when a wig was too much, was second to none. What's more he still had a full collection of 1982 Texaco tiger tokens.

08/10/2012 at 15:47

The collection was his pride and joy. A business rival had once offered to exchange the set in return for a night of passion with his comely wife, and whilst he was very tempted the thought of giving up the Texaco tiger tokens was simply too much to bear. Jocelyn, the wife, had been most displeased at his rebuttal, for she had always...

08/10/2012 at 15:58

felt somewhat neglected. Well one would wouldn't one when one comes second to little piecec of paper with a redemmable value of 0.0001p. Though that wasn't the worst part, it was his, extreme lack of interest in anythig in the bedroom department that really...

41 to 60 of 148 messages
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