Runner's World novel.

61 to 80 of 148 messages
08/10/2012 at 16:37

fuelled her desire for Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson, the way he had an...................

08/10/2012 at 16:54

answer for all environmental campaigner's concerns was breathtaking. And that most of them involved burning fossil fuels and culling badgers... well, she could barely contain herself on a Sunday night. Her husband forbade her from watching Dave on the freeview box, because whenever she did the household stock of batteries was soon depleted. Why, one time..............

08/10/2012 at 17:29

the mere-est mention of James May, got her in to such an aroused state she couldn't but help to sate her needs on the very spot ..... whilst being a Top Gear fan himself the Tesco Store manager still handed her a lifetime ban , which meant she had to ....

 

08/10/2012 at 17:37

dress up in disguise whenever she did the weekly shop. This turned out to be great fun, by now she has amassed a great and wide varity of costumes so that not only does she hire herself out as a kissagram but also has a neat line in...

Edited: 08/10/2012 at 17:38
08/10/2012 at 17:42

.... civil war re-enactments, however after a couple of booking mix-ups ...

08/10/2012 at 20:26

she found herself dressed as an SS storm trooper and detained at the Polish border where she had gone to try and find work as a builder.......................

08/10/2012 at 20:48
But by sheer luck she ran into a transvestite called Molly....
08/10/2012 at 21:16

..... which actually wasn't that lucky for Molly as she happened to be driving her second world war replica Panzer at the time, fortuantely though Molly survived and together they .....

08/10/2012 at 22:16

devoured the entire contents of the breakfast buffet of the first class diner of the Trans Siberian railway. Which is fine if you like galloping indigestion. Molly adjusted the buckle of her belt to allow for a little more breakfast, she looked deep into the...

09/10/2012 at 06:22

.... now empty Weetabix box, sighed resignedly, then with a flourish she stood and to the rest of the carriage calmly announced .......

09/10/2012 at 06:59

With a voice full of emotion and tears streaming down her face....

09/10/2012 at 11:06

.........that she was a secret IPod user and was related to Bert, his Mom, Jemima Puddleduck and that the Rev Pat had hacked all their 'phones. All their deepest innermost secrets were about to be exposed on his primetime bible show unless they were all prepared to to become real runners' with blackened toenails, snapped achilles tendons and avoid all GP,s and physios pledging themselves only to...... 

09/10/2012 at 11:33

run THE marathon. Because obviously, there's only the one. Unfortunately, the ballot had not been kind, but the plucky runners had a plan!

09/10/2012 at 11:46

They were going to use some of Jemimas disguises and disguise themselves as...

09/10/2012 at 11:51

a bunch of z-list celebs. The plan was flawless, except....

09/10/2012 at 11:51

for the distinct lack of day-glo orange self-tanning cream. But disaster was averted with the arrival of...

Edited: 09/10/2012 at 11:52
09/10/2012 at 11:59

the luncheon trolly. (they are still on the train after all and what else is there to do on a train other than eat and stare out of the window). Several hrs later after lunch and been consumed and dinner was yet to appear an idea crept slowly into his/her mind. A small idea that was rather shy but it kept on growing, forming into a rather cunning plan...

09/10/2012 at 12:07

what if, instead of dressing as z-list celebrities, they dressed as Kenyan men? They'd be guaranteed a spot at the start line! No messing about with pens and trying to traverse the various charity runners, men dressed as bananas, or first timers who entered on a whim and were planning on walking the whole race whilst supping on Lucozade-zero-sugar-what's-the-point-in-drinking-it? and looking for the BBC cameras. Yes! All they needed was...

09/10/2012 at 13:28

a bus, yes the very same bus the Sunderland Harrier had used when taking part in the Kielder Marathon way back when runners were runners and........................ 

09/10/2012 at 13:45

they all lived happily ever after. THE END.

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