Runner's World novel.

81 to 100 of 148 messages
09/10/2012 at 13:46

taking the bus to the finish line was the done thing, after all, who in their right mind would want to run 26.2 miles anyway. What nonsense is that?
Molly flicked open her lptop and tapity tapped tapped on the keyboard. A few moments later she had what she wanted up there blazing on the screen...

09/10/2012 at 13:57

Viagra, $29.99 including postage from America! Now all she had to do was find a way of slipping it to Ferdinand, the exotic train driver...

09/10/2012 at 14:09

who after the accident so long ago needed a stiff one before he went back to...................

09/10/2012 at 15:16

...the mortuary where it was well known that he who rides the tiger does not get off because it is no use crying over spilt milk once you have completed a full length 17 mile marathon dressed as Buttercup the friendly cow who once wandered lonely as a cloud....

09/10/2012 at 15:19

but then met Sid, the randy bull. They had married in a private ceremony on a beach. It was beautiful. They had honeymooned in Kent, making sure to pack their Asics (other brands are available) so that they could enjoy a..................

09/10/2012 at 15:56

warm champagne cocktail drunk from their trainers, their arms entwined like the lovers they were before that fateful night when................................ 

09/10/2012 at 16:28

watching their back catalog of Jeremy Kyle videos, Kevin had knocked on the door and ....

09/10/2012 at 17:16

claimed that he was the mother of Molly, A product of a brief liason between herself and Bert, (you do remember Bert don't you?) before she (that is Kevin) decided live the rest of her life dressed as a male. (Kevin was formerly known as squiggle). Anyway, shocked at this revelation the couple...

09/10/2012 at 17:32

decided to make the most of it and have a cup of tea before...

09/10/2012 at 19:24

.....she went shopping again.

He went up to the bedroom as he did every Tuesday afternoon and waited....... he heard HER footsteps on the stairs and the creak of the bedroom door, he knew it was wrong but he was a man and men have their needs. She straddled his loins carelessly and he could feel her warmth. He closed his eyes and her tongue searched for his but only moistened his lips before teasing his ears and lobes. "You bitch" he cried for he liked to talk dirty. She rubbed her body on his purposefully. He knew her scent would be on his body and the bedclothes. Suddenly the key turned in the front door, she had returned early! His eyes opened wide in alarm and saw HER eyes alerted by the sound, she threw her hair back and leaped off the bed quickly and scampered downstairs for her Tuesday bone. 

09/10/2012 at 20:55

Unfortunately when mother got to the cupboard it was bare and the poor little doggy had none.  Looking aghast she thought why do I always look aghast why can't I look.........................................

09/10/2012 at 22:01

like Angelina Jolie, and more to the point, why can't I have a man who looks like Brad Pitt? 

She sighed. It was a sigh of deep longing, but unfortunately it was mistaken for an asthmatic wheeze and the next thing she knew.............

10/10/2012 at 07:20

Dot, her friendly next door neighbour who had popped round for her morning coffee, had mother on her back desperately spraying ventolin from her inhaler into the back of mothers throat ..... however in her rush Dot instead of picking up the inhaler had mistakenly picked up the .....

10/10/2012 at 11:28

hairspray she had been planning to use in an attempt to perfect an Amy Winehouse style bouffant. As she sprayed liberal amounts down the throat of the now choking woman, she found her thoughts drifting back to August 12th, 1976. It had been an usually cool Thursday.........

Edited: 10/10/2012 at 11:29
10/10/2012 at 13:11

Which as the rest of the summer had been full of long hot sunny days, we used to get before global warming had been invented was disapointing as she had planned to go frolicking in the summer meadows with her girl hood pal Hanz, deciding instead to go to the pictures to see the newly released Saturday Night..........................

10/10/2012 at 13:19

Fever, however the slightly unseasonal chang ein the weather must have distracted them for after they sat down in the drakened auditorium, they found themselves staring at the opening credits for The Omen, when out of the blue ....

10/10/2012 at 13:30

Satan appeared before them. In fact, it wasn't Satan. It was an usher who had won an employment tribunal (they had them back then, didn't they?) to support his right to dress as prescribed by his religion. Satanism was all the rage (literally and metaphorically), but his true motivation for the red satin outfit was that he just loved the feel of the smooth fabric against his skin. It sent shudders of pleasure through his...............

10/10/2012 at 13:31

...pheasants for it was of course the Glorious Twelfth and these game birds were ready to defy the beaters of the heather and soar high beyond the rain clouds and over the rainbow where there was blue sky because they could see clearly now the rain had gone....... 

10/10/2012 at 15:07

...there''ll be blue skies over the white cliffs of Dover. As the planes came thunderring in from their final mission oversees the pilot of the tail plane thought...

10/10/2012 at 15:10

"Ooh, that stretch of water looks nice. I wonder what would happen if I slathered myself in lard and tried to swim in it?"

And so the cross-channel swim was born. Well, the concept of it was. The poor pilot met an unfortunate end 12 miles into the swim, when a spectre from beneath the water snuck up on him and...................

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