Runner's World novel.

..... which actually wasn't that lucky for Molly as she happened to be driving her second world war replica Panzer at the time, fortuantely though Molly survived and together they .....

devoured the entire contents of the breakfast buffet of the first class diner of the Trans Siberian railway. Which is fine if you like galloping indigestion. Molly adjusted the buckle of her belt to allow for a little more breakfast, she looked deep into the...

.... now empty Weetabix box, sighed resignedly, then with a flourish she stood and to the rest of the carriage calmly announced .......

With a voice full of emotion and tears streaming down her face....

.........that she was a secret IPod user and was related to Bert, his Mom, Jemima Puddleduck and that the Rev Pat had hacked all their 'phones. All their deepest innermost secrets were about to be exposed on his primetime bible show unless they were all prepared to to become real runners' with blackened toenails, snapped achilles tendons and avoid all GP,s and physios pledging themselves only to...... 

run THE marathon. Because obviously, there's only the one. Unfortunately, the ballot had not been kind, but the plucky runners had a plan!

They were going to use some of Jemimas disguises and disguise themselves as...

a bunch of z-list celebs. The plan was flawless, except....

for the distinct lack of day-glo orange self-tanning cream. But disaster was averted with the arrival of...

the luncheon trolly. (they are still on the train after all and what else is there to do on a train other than eat and stare out of the window). Several hrs later after lunch and been consumed and dinner was yet to appear an idea crept slowly into his/her mind. A small idea that was rather shy but it kept on growing, forming into a rather cunning plan...

what if, instead of dressing as z-list celebrities, they dressed as Kenyan men? They'd be guaranteed a spot at the start line! No messing about with pens and trying to traverse the various charity runners, men dressed as bananas, or first timers who entered on a whim and were planning on walking the whole race whilst supping on Lucozade-zero-sugar-what's-the-point-in-drinking-it? and looking for the BBC cameras. Yes! All they needed was...

a bus, yes the very same bus the Sunderland Harrier had used when taking part in the Kielder Marathon way back when runners were runners and........................ 

they all lived happily ever after. THE END.

taking the bus to the finish line was the done thing, after all, who in their right mind would want to run 26.2 miles anyway. What nonsense is that?
Molly flicked open her lptop and tapity tapped tapped on the keyboard. A few moments later she had what she wanted up there blazing on the screen...

Viagra, $29.99 including postage from America! Now all she had to do was find a way of slipping it to Ferdinand, the exotic train driver...

who after the accident so long ago needed a stiff one before he went back to...................

...the mortuary where it was well known that he who rides the tiger does not get off because it is no use crying over spilt milk once you have completed a full length 17 mile marathon dressed as Buttercup the friendly cow who once wandered lonely as a cloud....

but then met Sid, the randy bull. They had married in a private ceremony on a beach. It was beautiful. They had honeymooned in Kent, making sure to pack their Asics (other brands are available) so that they could enjoy a..................

warm champagne cocktail drunk from their trainers, their arms entwined like the lovers they were before that fateful night when................................ 

watching their back catalog of Jeremy Kyle videos, Kevin had knocked on the door and ....