Runner's World novel.

101 to 120 of 148 messages
10/10/2012 at 15:41

......was immediately thwarted by Illya Kuryakin because Napoleon Sol was otherwise occupied in a laundrette in New York City......

10/10/2012 at 15:50

where he had gone because he had heard there was plenty of sex in the city, it turned out to be true, unfortunately it turned out that Miranda was a lesbian in real life and he was unlikely to get any more there than with Vera Lynn over those white cliffs, he turned his attention to..................................

Edited: 10/10/2012 at 15:50
10/10/2012 at 15:58

Statue of Liberty. Now there was a real woman. Alas, what he didn't realise was that she was actually a Weeping Angel, and if you don't know what I'm talking about then shame on you. Doctor Who is an amazing show. So there.

I digress.

He looked up into the eyes of the statue, her beauty overwhelming, despite the pigeon crap that stood in neat little piles all over her shoulders. The Mayor of New York had been advised to purchase falcons to drive away the pigeons, but he was a tight bastard and had instead invested in.................

10/10/2012 at 16:09

... a crack team of killer sloths ... he had often wondered why they were being sold cheap, and now the mounting piles of pigeon poo upon the statute were a constant reminder.

However the useless sloths soon disappeared from his thoughts, as his latest edition of "Killer Ungulates of the World" was placed upon his desk by his shapely secretary 'Brian' ... as he leafed aimlessly through its pages he ...

10/10/2012 at 16:09

looked for a tax efficient investment which he hoped would provide the type of income he would need when the angel whisked him back in time to feed on the energy his being left behind. He turned, looked at the angel directly in the eye and pinned his NYC Marathon number on his resplendent hi tech T Shirt, pulled his low profile back to basic trainers and.....................................

Edited: 10/10/2012 at 16:11
10/10/2012 at 16:14

Blinked.

In an instance he found himself in a strange and mysterious world inhabited by Morlocks and Eloi. This wasn't quite what he had expected. As he was dragged screaming into the underbelly of the dystopian hell, he wondered if he should have taken Brian up on his offer of dinner in the.....................

10/10/2012 at 16:25

canteen. Afterall over cooked cabbage and salty gravy were a better prospect than a life of eternal nothingness awaiting only for his birth when he could eventually die.

He needed an escape plan, a fire extinguisher would be a good start, well, there should be one by the door, there has to be by law, he'd written the law. hang on, if he could write laws then all he needed was pen and paper (he had a pencil and handy dollar bill, that would have to do) he wrote his new law stating...

10/10/2012 at 16:44

that with immediate effect he would be accepted as a contestant on the UK version of I'm a Celebrity, knowing that he would be taken and parachuted screaming and shouting into the Australian Jungle where he would meet..................

Edited: 10/10/2012 at 16:45
10/10/2012 at 16:49

Ant and Dec, thus giving him the perfect opportunity to complete the mission for which he had been trained all those years ago. "Kill Ant and Dec". The words had been whispered to him by a frail old man, the stranger's face contorted in agony as he died from the radiation poisoning he had endured on his trip back in time. But it had been necessary. He had been the last hope. In a world full of z-list celebrities, all of whom infected with the dreaded X-Factor, it had fallen to him to save humanity.

"Kill Ant and Dec." The words had reverberated in Bob's (for that was his name) head for years. And now, in the Australian jungle, he would have his chance at last............

 

10/10/2012 at 17:22

to eat earthworms and maggots and bathe in a muddy pit of putrid stench. Ant and dec would have to wait. Lets face it, they weren't going anywhere were they?

10/10/2012 at 17:40

Indeed they were not because the area of the square on the hypotenuse was equal to the sum of the area of the squares on the other two sides, at least that is what Mr P ...

10/10/2012 at 17:47

had always been told, although not quite in those terms. He had his suspicions though. It was just another lie that the Bourgeoisie used to suppress the workforce. And one day he would convince others of the fact and they would rise up, as one, and a glorious new age of liberated triangles would reign supreme.

Mr. P smiled to himself, and re-adjusted his.......................

10/10/2012 at 18:01

.. electronic tag, which was a constant reminder of his last assassination mission, which unfortunately had ended in failure ... he often thought that the judges had convicted him BECAUSE he had failed and the world was still infected by hideous McCartney and his offspring ... one day he mused ... one day .... however his reverie was suddenly broken by ..

 

10/10/2012 at 18:02

....polygon and proceeding to find a three point bearing for himself as he was quickly losing all sense of time and place, Oh...... 

10/10/2012 at 18:04
Rickster wrote (see)

Let's write a novel. Each add a bit to it. I'll start it off.

Once upon a time...

Groundhog Day...........

10/10/2012 at 18:12

... no I have managed to get a grip on the edge of the White Cliffs of Dover and somewhere over the rainbow skies are bloooooooooo.........

10/10/2012 at 21:39

However, that's over the rainbow and this isn't. Here skies are black because it's night and that's what happens at night. Sky the colour of an old fashioned chalk board upon which some illiterate has scrawled...

11/10/2012 at 09:13

just to get some attention for himself - who knows why, perhaps he can't get a girlfriend, perhaps he can but is struggling to come to terms with his homosexual feelings towards his friends brother or perhaps he has been flung back from some far distant galaxy through a wormhole in space or perhaps........................

11/10/2012 at 10:12

...he is Ismail Iceberg pushing his way through the throng of morning rush hour dispensing his usual pleasantries of "Shalom" and "Shmuck" and curious why the gentiles always reply "Aye! Aye!". He was keeping his latest masterpiece under his hat as he fully expected it to replace the BBC theme for the VPL, that jingoistic 302 Squadron. He hummed to himself

"Bring me my Ipods of desire...........Bring me my running shoes of fire.................. Till we have built Marathon in England's green and pleasant land. 

He even nurtured the thought of Last Night at the Proms! Anything so long as they left his beloved Jerusalem where it was.

11/10/2012 at 13:06

Not many people knew it, but he was incredibly fond of artichokes. Not those globe ones though, only the Jerusalem variety. Roasted with a bit of suckling pig, there mere thought of it had him salivating. And salivating in public wasn't a good idea ever since the outbreak of rabies had claimed Widow Winderfield. He looked around furtively, and wiped the saliva from his mouth. Had anyone noticed?................

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