Runner's World novel.

141 to 148 of 148 messages
16/10/2012 at 11:08

would much prefer a jolly swagman,  one that would happily sit by a billabong in the shade of a  of a coulibah tree whist waiting for their billy to boil.  Of course most Sheila's would like to go 'a waltzing - Matilda was the most enthusiastic waltzer, having recently appeared on the Australian version of Strictly Come Dancing - of course the come in come dancing had been greeted with titters from the swagman.

Matilda decided having been approached by yet another drunken swagman, because of course an Aussie Swagman can't differentiate between Jolly and p*ssed,  to head off into the bush and to go walkabout - on this day the hottest day in Alice Springs since the previous hottest day in Alice Springs there were strange goings on.....................................

17/10/2012 at 11:51

Joey looked around, there wasn't much to eat, but hey ho, he'd only just had breakfast so it wasn't lunch time yet. Maybe a drink would be good so he bounded off down the track to the spring where he knew that the water would be cool, the water would be good and if his luck was in Sheila would be hanging out around there as well. Long time since he'd seen Sheila.

Wow yes, there she was in all her magnificance, he siddled up to her and WHAM!!! Boy could she punch. This must be what love felt like.

As he lay on the ground semi conscious dreaming of stars and angels a large metal bird flew overheard, a bit low for comfort and making not quite the right noises for metal birds...

17/10/2012 at 13:19

Why why why was Rolf Harris standing over her with his didgeridoo placed to his lips, She knew there was an endemic of men around Alice Springs who, after a proliferation of penile enhancment emails, had the treatment but this was going a bit to far. She cosed her eyes and hoped the distrubing view would go away - after a while she opende them again and found she was being licked by the biggest Hippo she had ever seen, how and earth had she been transferred from the middle of the Australian Outback to the heart of Africa - perhaps if she closed her eyes and opened them again something would change, she tried...................................... 

17/10/2012 at 13:48

Vi=Ao/5[(Qc/Po)+1 2/7-1] ajljgb;rtmgfbh/l'j;]y=78 nothingness thj;ojnbmyjukt'ypuo confused kregj;oruyo;jk'tyjp#=i0il;Li floating iuypr5y]-khl/k['uik black squiigglleess

She opened her eyse, a tall dark handsome stranger stood over her, she smiled, heaven, "African or European?" he enquired. "eh, I'm Australian, a kangaroo you know, boing boing..." She replied slightly puzzled as to why she was talking in black squiggly things. "No no, we've done the kangaroos and moved on." He soothed. She felt under her, warm sand, it could be anywhere, (well not England, that would be cold wet pebbles). What on earth was in that Dandilion and Snail gin? This was bad, a dream or an hallucination...


17/10/2012 at 14:13

or a trip - a trip into another dimension, had she been sent back to another time, had she been sent forward to another time, had she been sent a spam email and contracted a trojan horse, only time would tell and time wasn't telling at the moment - billions of years seem to pass in a blink or was it mere seconds as she drifted along, the windmills in her mind ever turning, churning, tumbling like a stream over a rocky river bed, why when she drunk the snail and gin wine did she talk and dream cr*p, if only she had listened to her Mother, Christian Grey would not have this hold over her...................

18/10/2012 at 22:09

 ....but Dandelion and Snail gin certainly beat Fosters Four XXXX and a christian of any colour she thought as she lay on the warm sand of Copacabana. The attention she was causing reassured her that she was not 'Joey the kangaroo!' The bronzed guys had forgotten all about their football and volleyball as they gathered around her with not a christian thought in their heads. She started to feel uneasy but a quick check found she was wearing red thong and top. Jemima Duck, Matilda, Sheila, Molly, Shortfuse Shorty, Ismail, Bert, Rev Pat (with his $20million) turned up with Peanuts and suggested they make a quick exit ........... 

Edited: 18/10/2012 at 22:11
19/10/2012 at 09:12

They sent Molly off to find the materials, they sent the Rev Pat (with his $20 Million) off to find the tools and Shortfuse SHorty was left to draw the blue prints. Soon they would be able to make their quick exit, in the meantime those remaining watched Jemima Duck do her party tricks on the azure blue sea..............................

19/10/2012 at 14:24

"CUT chrissakes I said CUT!" shouted Steven as he started his spiel " What is all this! Goddammit I wanna hear geee-tars! I wanna hear 'Guantanaaa-mera!I wanna hear carnivaaal drums beating! I wanna see limbo dancers! I wanna see beoooo-tifoool brown dancing girls in sparkly costumes! Who are all these cheesey guys with an ass!"  Peanuts eyes him reproachfully ( thinks: Me an ass! Where is my Man with No Name?) Steven continues his spiel " Phew,I am so hot on this beach, bring me a 'buddy' buddy" he tells his P.A. whereupon a naked man is presented to him within seconds " Wha.... wha... what the hell is this? Who is that jerk!?" he screams. His P.A. says politely "You asked for a 'nuddy' buddy Steve..." " Are you maaad!!  Have you gone deaf! I wanted a 'buddy' a budweiser, a beer!! Gott in himmel!  (thinks: Oh Gott now I am talking german!) Get that bum outta here fast or it'll be the hearest I ever get to an Oscar again!"....................................................

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