Single, would like to meet....

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13/01/2013 at 14:02
Eggyh73 wrote (see)

I sometimes think I live in some retro time bubble. I read all these stats on divorce and people mention miserable relationships and I know not one, bar my own divorce. One of my mates started dating his wife in high school. Yes, they actually are high school sweet hearts!

Mind you I never saw my divorce coming, so what do I know?

Eggyh73, depending on your perspective you are fortunate/unfortunate to be surrounded by so much emotional stability. However because couples stay together does not mean they are 'happy'.

I could never be described as a ladies man and when younger was never generally  that successful with the girls. However some of the girls that were not interested now seem to see me as fascinating - since their relationships with interesting, virile, sexy, high earners',(you name it) have gone awry! They seem to have all the time to chat with me now and through a third party I recently heard that I was described as "fruity" ( yes, fruity!!)-  the world has gone bananas. I am not surprised that in some of your posts you say you have given up however you may find that you become irresistable to ladies in the years to come.

13/01/2013 at 14:44

I'd say I'm fortunate to have been brought up and still surrounded by stable relationships. And the people I know are happy. To me the saddest thing I've noticed since becoming single is how many other single people try and create this myth of unhappy couples as an excuse for their own relationships failing.

I've no intention of becoming a ladies man. I'm not a flirty person and have no inclination to become one. I have never been one to sleep around or look for casual relationships. In fact the only woman I've ever slept with was my ex. I'll be 40 soon and I now I've given up looking for anyone else I see that being the way it remains until my time is up.

13/01/2013 at 14:58

I think most couples think they are happy and can give that impression.  Its hard to see when the happiness fades.  I know in hindsight I wasn't happy for a number of years, but I thought I had the perfect relationship at the time.  We never argued or disagreed and people commented on what a good couple we made.

But over time you can drift apart without falling out with each other.

13/01/2013 at 15:02

That type of talk is another reason I'd be very wary of ever getting involved with anyone again. Too many folk don't work at their relationships, they run from them.

How can you not know if you are happy or not? That doesn't make any sense at all.

Edited: 13/01/2013 at 15:12
13/01/2013 at 16:02

I'm glad that you don't understand because it shows that you have been lucky enough not to have been there, Eggyh.  It's too personal and raw for me to explain.

I know what you mean about some people not trying.  I struggle to understand people who get divorced within a couple of years of getting married.  Did they not know what they were getting themselves into, or did they go into the relationship thinking that it would be easy and that they could change the other person.

I'll not take your comment personally though.  Plenty of people know how hard I tried for a long time and the detrimental effect that it had on my health.

seren nos yn canu    pirate
13/01/2013 at 16:35

eggy.i was married at 20 and divorced by 23..........I almost stayed in the relationship because i believed that marriage was for life and that i had made a commitment and should stick to it......despite being very unhappy........

So glad i came to my senses and admitted i had made a mistake..........i could have spent my whole life working at it........but instead i have now been married for over 20 years to my second husband...its not perfect but worth working at..........

13/01/2013 at 21:19
This has turned into such a happy thread KK!!

I quite like the thought of marriage, I can't see my self without my partner and want to grow old with her
13/01/2013 at 21:30

Just popping in to say that I met my OH via the "where are all the single men thread" back in 2005. Nearly 8 years later and still going strong. Know quite a few other couples who met on there too.....

13/01/2013 at 21:32

Meant to say "we" are still going strong rather than the thread is.  Other half is Woj and his thread - the "Counting" thread I think is also going strong and spawned at least one romance (Dan Dan and Sam). Spread the love I say!

13/01/2013 at 21:40

Have you noticed its the men who are the happy ones and never think/ realise there is anything wrong ! (laughs cynically ) !! really though how many men moan about nagging wives but then are shocked when they walk out.?.guys its not nagging its trying to get through to you ...listen 

13/01/2013 at 21:46
Night Nurse wrote (see)

Have you noticed its the men who are the happy ones and never think/ realise there is anything wrong ! (laughs cynically ) !! really though how many men moan about nagging wives but then are shocked when they walk out.?.guys its not nagging its trying to get through to you ...listen 

Aimed at me I guess.

Well, so there actually wasn't any nagging. I could count the number of arguments we had on one hand over the 17 years we spent together. I just got told one day that she no longer loved me and that was it and it wasn't up for discussion.

I'll admit at that point I had what would be classed as a mental breakdown and spent the best part of a year ticking off just about every stupid idea that you should never do as you think you can win the love of your life back.

Like another poster has mentioned all I ever saw was us spending our life together. I never imagined in my wildest dreams we'd split up. Even less the situation now were we no longer even have any contact with each other.

13/01/2013 at 21:50

NO !!!!!!!! DONT BE SO PARANOID..LOL..

its aimed at most men !!

13/01/2013 at 21:56

Strangely enough, I don't see divorce and the destruction it causes as a laughing matter.

 

seren nos yn canu    pirate
13/01/2013 at 22:07

marriage causes lots of destruction for people as well.........

how many women in the past were forced to live with abusive partners because they had no choice to leave.........

how many had husbands who showed them no love or respect and had to stay wi

th them.........

how many children got brought up in these bad relationships........

divorce is not all bad.......marriage can be just as bad if not worse..

Eggy........maybe if you had argued a bit more you might have discovered that things were not right and might have had a chance to put things right.....rather than it going so far that it was too late.arguements can be a way of communicting that something is wrong

13/01/2013 at 22:09

If she had something to raise she could have done so. I prefer to discuss things and resolve them than argue for the sake of it.

13/01/2013 at 22:10
Eggyh73 wrote (see)

Strangely enough, I don't see divorce and the destruction it causes as a laughing matter.

 

 

seren nos wrote (see)

marriage causes lots of destruction for people as well.........

how many women in the past were forced to live with abusive partners because they had no choice to leave.........

how many had husbands who showed them no love or respect and had to stay wi

th them.........

how many children got brought up in these bad relationships........

divorce is not all bad.......marriage can be just as bad if not worse..

Eggy........maybe if you had argued a bit more you might have discovered that things were not right and might have had a chance to put things right.....rather than it going so far that it was too late.arguements can be a way of communicting that something is wrong

Exactly...see women really do see things differently 

13/01/2013 at 22:12

I could easily list as many and more problems caused by divorce. It's a moot point.

Edited: 13/01/2013 at 22:12
13/01/2013 at 22:24

I think everybody has a different experience with marriage and divorce and it is wrong to generalise or comment on anyone elses relationship.  Only the two people involved really know what happened.

I never wanted divorce.  I wanted my husband to listen to me and address my concerns about our relationship.  I was forced to take greater and greater measures to get his attention until it became clear that he was happy for me to go.  That was when I knew that there was nothing worth hanging around for.  He never once made any effort to discuss the problem with me or try to make me stay.

I honestly thought that we are together for life and that nothing would be strong enough to separate us.  One of the reasons I hung around for so long was because I took my vows seriously and couldn't bring myself to break them.  Funny how things change, but at least we had an amicable breakup and still talk regularly and even visit each other.

13/01/2013 at 22:28

the last singles thread went the same way all the threads go, off on a tangent with everyone just insulting each other on a regular basis

*drags over sofa and pringles*

off you all go then

13/01/2013 at 22:28

hey Debster, fab news you and Woj are still together

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