Single, would like to meet....

by 'eck, it's hilly wrote (see)

I saw a Valentine's card the other day - "to the love of my life, from the dog"

Bestiality lives!

 Waking this thread up with newly acquired expertise on Internet dating sites 

Don’t –

 headline your ad with the words

• honest
• sincere
• decent
• fun-loving
• soulmate
• lines from a crappy love song

 it’s been done a bazillion times

•  post pictures of your bare chest / tats unless you are truly incredibly hot, and preferably not even then
•  take your profile pictures in your bathroom or bedroom
•  send a contact email that comprises just the words –
• • hi
  • hiya
  • hi ya
  • your pretty
•  lie about your age.  It’s really obvious from your profile pic if you are 60, not 49
•  use the words snuggle or cosy.  Not with me anyway

 Do –

 Use a spell checker FFS especially for words describing concepts that are important to you: words like solemate, liers, faithfull ect ect.

 er, that’s it.

Oh – and just because I am 50+ does not mean I long to be approached by bare-chested boys of 22 so don’t send me any more pictures or suggestions on how to spend my afternoons…although presumably that means I can’t be a complete dog

I can see that Internet Dating is the new way of meeting people, indeed, a friend of mine met his Wife via t'interweb so I won't knock it too much but I can't see it's for me.

The Internet is full of looneys, I'm not sure I would like to invite some of them into my life.

I think anyone who uses the term "Soulmate" would send me running for the hills for a start. "Wow, there are 65million odd people living in Britain, let alone the rest of the world and you've managed to find your "soulmate" in the same post code area!? that's amazing!!"... Pull the other one.

Our local paper has a dating section (you wouldn't want a date out of that paper!!) I read the same quote fairly often "I've kissed a lot of frogs, now I'm looking for my Prince". Hahaha!!  I would never ever want to date anyone who came up with that!!

Terrifying.

I gave up on internet dating after just over two years of wasting my time on various sites. I can provide the female don'ts.

• If all you write in your profile is 'lol, I don't know what to write just message me'. Then you are basically trading off nothing but your looks, so don't be shocked when all you attract is the guys after one thing.
• When the majority of your photos are of you in skimpy dress or revealing cleavage pictures expect the guys coming after you to be as above.
• Having fun isn't a f%$king hobby or interest.
• Every other woman has that horrific Marilyn Monroe quote. It's not clever, neither was Marilyn.
• For some reason a large percentage of the female population spell lose as 'loose'. That is not only incorrect, but severely alters the context of the sentence and often not in a flattering way.
• Searching for Mr Grey. 
• Frog kissing.
• Horses, bloody horses everywhere. I don't want to look at pictures of your horse on your profile. I've never met one woman in real life that owned a horse, but reading though these profiles was like an equestrian convention.
• Prove to me all guys are cheats and liars.
• My friend made me sign up.
• If you stipulate you want a properly thought out message and not a 'hi' or 'hi, how was your weekend' then after said gentleman has constructed a message based on the information on your profile do not respond with 'hi, how was your weekend?'.

And trust me that's the short rant version!

Yes the lol after every sentence is dreadful!  A lot of chaps have dogs, love dogs, love to walk their dogs, or like going to the dogs on a Saturday afternoon.  Or have a photo taken in a flash car that is not theirs.

I don't get to see the ladies' ads, but I have been matched up with two transvestites.

One of them looked like a lot of fun actually

Singles ads should be more like real estate ads.

"Good kerb appeal, but the inside needs a bit of work." - nice looks, crap personality.

"A diamond in the rough." - I might be rough, but you should see my mates. I'll be the best you'll get around here.

Thank you David.  I should have realised you'd pop over to offer some advice .

KK i fink i love you for starting this thread 

Ja5onW wrote (see)

Hey ladies!

jason, 24 (well on the 18th) 

not single- getting married on April the 3rd

just thought id add myself into the mix 

training for a marathon ATM

jason you are banned as you are married(nearly)

SuperCaz wrote (see)

Jason, please don't go!

I must have been about 24 when I got married.  Technically still married until that bit of paper comes through.

supercaz, me too...i was 24 and waiting for my bit o paper too now

Would you ever go on a blind date with someone who's profile simply says 'Dont judge a book by its cover'

red flags galore there!

my profile would just have to say' generally  im a bit of a handful really - lets see how you  cope'

David Falconer 3 wrote (see)

Would you ever go on a blind date with someone who's profile simply says 'Dont judge a book by its cover'

red flags galore there!

that would bore me instantly DF

I like the ads on TV where they say they have been a member for 6 months and theyve been really good with their matches ..... if they were that good, why are you still using them???

SuperCaz wrote (see)

 I know in hindsight I wasn't happy for a number of years, but I thought I had the perfect relationship at the time.  We never argued or disagreed and people commented on what a good couple we made.

But over time you can drift apart without falling out with each other.

SC, i agree, you carry on thinking its the way everyone is too but at some point you have to admit to yourself that its not working and you need to be happy and change things for both of you.

 hey handsome , how you doing?

cant see anyone else

uh huh