Slow burning revenge ideas needed

1 to 20 of 24 messages
07/06/2013 at 20:49

My husband, over the past few months, has been helping one of my colleagues design a database for a particular clinic. 

 

In order to demonstrate the database to people who might need to access it, he created a fake patient who he gave my name. Her presenting problem is being gobby and swearing too much and the suggested management plan is not getting into an argument with her.

 

Needless to say i knew nothing of this until today. It has apparently caused an immense amount of amusement amongst the staff who use it, ie my bloody colleagues.

 

Revenge is needed but I got into trouble with the last revenge mission so wondered if you lot had any good ideas.

07/06/2013 at 21:09

Shag his best mate 

07/06/2013 at 21:15

Ha ha - that's brilliant.

How about a stink bomb underneath his clutch pedal. He'll just hear the crack of the plastic and slowly be hit by the smell.

07/06/2013 at 21:15

I'm not going to suggest any ideas - but the fact that there has been a previous revenge mission is setting off alarm bells

Are you quite sure you two are meant to be together?

07/06/2013 at 21:18

Don't say anything, don't do anything. (well except cut all his shirts up and use them as a dog blanket, but apart from that).

07/06/2013 at 21:18

shave the eyebrows off, and draw some comedy ones on in black marker.

07/06/2013 at 21:23

Persuade him using all your womanly charm that you'd like him to shave fully, the ensuing Bollock itch that lasts for 3 months will be a decent slowburn, and constant reminder, trust me!

Or +1 for Shag his best mate

07/06/2013 at 21:30

There is another thread with links to amazon reviews about veet (hair removal) for men with amusing horror stories of people applying it to nether regions. get some and apply when hes asleep. maybe not though that would be a bit evil......go with the stink bomb.

07/06/2013 at 21:34

Could he have had a point?

07/06/2013 at 21:40
Runnin man wrote (see)

Persuade him using all your womanly charm that you'd like him to shave fully, the ensuing Bollock itch that lasts for 3 months will be a decent slowburn, and constant reminder, trust me!

 

RM - can you please also spread this message among any of your mates who like their women to look like plucked chickens? What's true for the man mounds is also true for the lady garden.

Thank you

Blisters    pirate
07/06/2013 at 21:45

Have you told him that you are not amused?
When you got married, there were certain vows that you both took. Remind him that he has got certain obligations in this contract too. Do NOT shag the Best Man, no matter what his credentials. Do NOT apply bollock remover, or whatever it was. Revenge is not actually necessary, but you can make yourself crystal clear that you are not amused. Removal of certain privileges for the remainder of the month should be enough. Oh, and remind him that he's doing the menu planning, shopping, cooking, washing and cleaning. (Damn, I've just realised how much I love my wife).

That shag on July 1st is going to be impressive.

07/06/2013 at 21:49
Screamapillar wrote (see)

RM - can you please also spread this message among any of your mates who like their women to look like plucked chickens? What's true for the man mounds is also true for the lady garden.

Thank you


Yes of course,

listen up lads,

I prefer a good healthy bush so does Screamapillar who will in future stick to the wild and unkempt look in the aforementioned Lady Garden

07/06/2013 at 21:51

I superglued my OH boots to the floor when he'd annoyed me... It was unbelievably funny to watch him slip his feet in the stand up and try to walk... 

there was a face plant

I did video it

it was worth it

07/06/2013 at 21:53
Runnin man wrote (see)
Screamapillar wrote (see)

RM - can you please also spread this message among any of your mates who like their women to look like plucked chickens? What's true for the man mounds is also true for the lady garden.

Thank you


Yes of course,

listen up lads,

I prefer a good healthy bush so does Screamapillar who will in future stick to the wild and unkempt look in the aforementioned Lady Garden

07/06/2013 at 21:57
GingerG wrote (see)

I superglued my OH boots to the floor when he'd annoyed me... It was unbelievably funny to watch him slip his feet in the stand up and try to walk... 

there was a face plant

I did video it

it was worth it

Bwahaha

07/06/2013 at 22:13

Be honest, are you gobby and swear too much? If so, what's your point?

If not, removal of privileges (if there are any) for a while should do.

07/06/2013 at 22:52

What about give his mobile number to a few payment protection claim companies? Then a few blame where there's a claim, double glazing.... 

07/06/2013 at 23:04

The problem with withdrawal of privileges is that I also experience lack of said privileges. Unless I shag his best mate, which I have no intention of doing thanks all the same.

 

I am loving the superglue idea. Perhaps a bit too evil though.

 

Could you post the video so I can be sure?

07/06/2013 at 23:06

And Peter you've got me bang to rights, as did Mr Chloella. I think that might be why my colleagues find it so amusing....

07/06/2013 at 23:30

Well that's very honest! I swear far too much too. Maybe a short sharp shock is more in order then - nothing too upsetting, a good dose of laxative in his tea?

Sounds to me in contrast to other's suggestions, that you have a good relationship. Don't spoil it with something too severe!!

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